She is awake NOW! Should I go in right away or wait??

[Avas_Mommy]

I cant decide if I should go in as soon as I know she is awake and try to settle her back to sleep, or wait and see if she does it herself/ cries out for me. My worry is that if I leave her, she will wake herself more fully and not want to go bak to sleep... does that make sense? Advice???

[aurora2711]

No real advice but just wanted to say that I have exactly the same dilemma...I've been going in almost as soon as I hear him wake as like you say, my worry was always that he would wake fully and then I wouldn't be able to get him back to sleep and making sure he had a decent nap was, for me, more important.  A week or so ago he woke after an hour and a half and wasn't crying so I left him to it and he went back to sleep after about 10 minutes.  Yesterday, I did the same after a 40 minute sleep but after about 5 minutes he started to get upset so I went in and I managed to get him back to sleep.  So I guess it's just a case of trying it out to see what happens...

What I think I might start doing is going in for the first nap - just to make sure he gets at least one decent nap a day and then try to leave him to it for the second nap...that way if I can't extend that nap it's not a total disaster.  Might be worth a try?

Sorry that wasn't much help, just wanted to let you know you're not alone!  Will be very interested in any other responses you might get.

[Avas_Mommy]

Thanks Aurora! I went in and she whimpered because her arm was out of the swaddle- and she thought I was going to swaddle her again! When I didn't, she gave me a massive smile... then I knew she wasn't going to be going back to sleep! So I took her for a short walk outside (it's gorgeous today!!) and she still didn't sleep- so she must have been totally awake and had enough?? I'm hoping so. So I fed her and so far she has been up since 10:20, and she is playing on her playmat... so we'll see what happens!
Thanks for the advice- I think I will try and focus on her getting one decent nap a day- and I am going to add up her sleep times and see if 30-40 minute naps + her night sleep add up to enough. If so, I might not fight it at all- just will have to have extra activity time I guess!
How are things going for you so far?? (hugs)

[aurora2711]

I think that sounds like a really good plan - my LO generally sleeps pretty well at night (10 or 11 hours) so as long as he gets one decent nap a day then I'm happy.  We've had a good day so far - he did a two hour nap on his own this morning  and has just gone down for another one so we'll see what happens!

Hope your second nap has gone better - can I just ask how old your LO is and what sort of A times you work on at the mo?

[Avas_Mommy]

Hi! Good to hear your LO had a long nap this morning! As it happens, Ava had a long nap this afternoon- and still going! So I'm glad I just went with it this morning. Ava is 12 weeks old tomorrow (I can't believe it) and she has A times of between 1.25 and 1.5 hours although sometimes she has gone over two (random and she usually gets OT). I am trying to go by her cues more than by the clock (thus the random 2 hr A times) but lately her cues have been on the subtle side!

I looked at her total sleep time today assuming she had 45 min naps and she nipped in just under 15 hours, and with this long nap she's having she will definitely be over that so I am happy... for today! My obsessing will start all over again tomorrow. How do you calculate your LOs total sleep time? I have adding up sleep from bedtime to bedtime. Not sure if that is right.

Well I think she is awake!... what do you think of her A times? Thanks for your help!!!

(hugs)

Celina

[Avas_Mommy]

Ooh I should add that we just moved her to 3.5 hour EASY. And she wasn't awake when I went and checked- amazing! I actually get to go get her up!
When I checked on her awhile back, she was smiling at the light fixture and then closed her eyes and went back to sleep... killer cutie!!
How are things going with your LOs nap??

[Maffoos mummy]

Just wanted to say I also do as you did- go in and see how she reacts to me. If I walk in and she beams at me I figure she's happy with what she's had...if I go in and she's bawling LOL I know to try to extend.xxx

[Avas_Mommy]

Lol Maffoos- it's a double bonus isn't it?? A bawling baby, AND you have to try to extend the nap! Fun times!!!

[NadeneR]

Hi Celina

Your pic as absolutely ADORABLE!!!!!!!  The cutest I have yet seen, by far.

So you're still battling short naps huh?  Don't feel alone in your boat - I'm right there with ya because we didn't have such a great day either.

Congrats on that one long nap!!!

I think you are spot on to calculate total sleep from bedtime to bedtime, as long as your bedtimes are consistent.  That should give you a pretty good indication as to total sleep in 24hr period.

I think you are doing a fabulous job.  Some bubs don't give sleepy cues at all, or like yours, just subtle ones, so at times like these, go with the clock since you know it's more or less time for sleep.  At least that way you avoid having the OT monster enter your life (he's a bugger to get rid of).

Good going Girl and don't give up just yet.  You never know just how close you are to cracking it.

Hugs
Nadene

[Avas_Mommy]

Thanks for the encouragement Nadene!

It really does help so much. I read your last post in your thread and it sounds like you had a nightmare day- and handled it beautifully!!! I would have done exactly the same thing- I think that as long as our babes know the general lay of the land, a bit of APOP can actually help improve a bad cycle or day (esp when it comes to naps!!). 
Ava can go to sleep independently, but there have been a couple times I have let her fall asleep after her bottle and then sleep on me just so she and I can get some rest during a particularly horrid OT afternoon- so I have committed the ultimate sin as well and don't feel a bit guilty for it- so don't you either!!

I think we should take some comfort in knowing that our LOs CAN transition, since they have at one time or another. It's not going to last forever!! I am trying to relax about her naps and it is the hardest thing- and I am normally laid back

What you said about feeling like a prisoner in your home- I am SO there. I feel totally isolated at the moment and it sucks. I used to work full time with brilliant people and now I am by myself with Ava (if that makes sense). I totally love her and feel privileged that I get to take care of her full time, but it's a huge change and I am feeling it in a huge way! So we are definitely in the same boat!!

I hope your night goes better- how is your baby boys earache- do you think your baby girl was having a reflux episode and maybe that's why she wouldn't go down??  I will keep a look out for an update. You are doing great!!! You are my hero for even making it out of the house- just going for a walk with Ava is a huge achievement for me!

(hugs)!!

Celina

[aurora2711]

Celine - Congrats on the great nap...isn't it a good feeling when they've slept so long you actually have to go and wake them 
Second nap was an hour here - I had to extend at the 40 minute mark but he went back to sleep really easily.  So, with his catnap that's total day sleep of 3 hours 45 plus night sleep last night of 10 and a half hours which I think is fine for his age.

Like Nadene said, I think you're absolutely right to calculate total sleep from bedtime to bedtime - that's how I do it anyway!

Oh and I comitted the cardinal sin tonight too - LO fell asleep over his last feed and I put him down asleep.  Believe me, I tried to rouse him, sat him up and burped him, stroked his cheek, said night night etc etc but he would not wake up so what am I supposed to do    The way I see it is, I know he can fall asleep independently as he does it nine times out of ten so if this happens sometimes I'm not going to worry too much about it...

I know exactly what you mean about feeling isolated.  We don't live particularly close to family and friends and I often feel like a slave to his sleep but I really try to make an effort to get out at least a couple of times a week.  Does Ava sleep in the car or pram??  If we've had good naps for the rest of the day I'll often go out somewhere at a time to coincide with the catnap and he sleeps on the go.  I know that sometimes it just feels like too much of a trial to get out of the house but it makes me feel so much better when I do!

It sounds like you're doing exactly the right things by the way and hopefully you'll start to see some real success soon!  In the meantime, this place is great when you need to vent!

Fingers crossed we both get a good nights' sleep - let me know how tomorrow goes.

((hugs))

Caroline x

[Avas_Mommy]

Ah your name is Caroline! I thought it was Aurora

I LOVE going and waking Ava when she sleeps well. Isn't their smile when they see you just the best?? Congrats on extending your nap today! I didn't extend any- so am lucky she had that good nap. I think we notched up just over 15 hours which is on the bottom end for her age group, but she seemed happy enough with it (except for the last nap- that was 20 minutes- not even a catnap! She was a bit crabby after that one!).   

I agree about the occasional AP- like putting LO down asleep- if it's only once in awhile I don't think it's a problem. One of my friends told me that doing the same thing three times in a row starts a pattern, and I haven't done AP anywhere near that consistently so don't worry about it when I need to resort to it. I have a long haul flight  and two smaller ones (all in one day!!)coming up and plan to do AP the whole way if necessary!! lol  Luckily isolated AP incidents don't ruin our hard work at getting our LOs to sleep independently- Thank God!! Could you imagine if that wasn't the case??

I went for a walk today with Ava when she woke early from her first nap- and I am glad I did. I really have to talk myself into it, which is weird because I am so desperate to get out of the house. It makes no sense, I know.  I don't drive, which makes matters worse (I was studying to get my license when I found out I was expecting-- not exactly the right time to spend money on lessons, or at least that is what I thought then!)   . There are a lot of mommy and baby groups locally but I think I want to wait until things 'even out' a bit with Ava.... or am I waiting for something that is never going to happen?? 

I put Ava down at 7:30 ish and she hasn't made a peep so that's good- I hope that your night is going well! We do the Bed, Bath, Bottle routine (putting down awake of course) and she seems to like it, if not just because she gets an extra top-up bottle after her bath! lol Don't know if that is 'allowed' but it really relaxes her to do those three things in that order. What is your bedtime routine like? Do you do DF? We tried it a couple times but it never seemed to make a difference.

Well now that I have written a NOVEL!!! Sorry! I'm sure I'll be on tomoz- rain or shine!

(hugs)

Celina

[aurora2711]

Evening going well here so far - he went down at 8.15 (too late I know - that's the next thing I have to work on!  Well, that and getting him into his own room  ) and has been fast asleep since (fingers crossed that continues!).  I BF but he has always had a formua top up before bed following issues with my milk supply when he was small.  So, DH gives him the bottle, then they have a play while I shower and get things ready for his bath, then he has bath, BF and bed.  I've always fed him just before bedtime and I think that's fine as long as they go down awake (well, most of the time anyway  )  In fact, I'm sure I've read Tracey saying this somewhere...might be in the sleep interview, I can't remember.  I think you have to adapt the routine so that it works for you and your LO.

I do do a DF and it seems to work well for us.  I feed him at 11 when we go to bed and usually he feeds, burps and doesn't even wake up    He then sleeps usually until around 7am though we do get an occasional night waking when he's having a growth spurt.  Might be worth trying the DF again as it didn't work for me when I first tried it so I left it for a while and tried again and now it works like, well, like a dream    If your LO sleeps through though then I wouldn't bother even trying - if it ain't broke...

I think 15 hours total sleep is absolutely fine if she's happy enough when she's awake.  My DS has always been on the lower end of the recommended total sleep but he's such a happy little thing 99% of the time that I try not to get too concerned about that.  He obviously gets his sleep needs from my early rising DH though as I could sleep and sleep given half the chance!

I'm the same with the mother and baby groups too.  We have a lovely group in our village but it coincides with DS's first nap of the day and at the moment I'm not prepared to jeopardise our whole day by missing that nap!  We go swimming once a week and that's pretty much it.  What I've found is that now things are evening out a bit with his sleep it makes me want to join groups etc even less as I'm worried I'll ruin this routine we've worked so hard to create...we can't win    I'm hoping that I might relax about it a bit more in the next couple of months...and when i go back to work part time in September I'll have no choice (brings me out in a cold sweat just thinking about it!)

Well, that's my novel finished for the evening.  Think I'd better give DH the laptop!

Let's see what tomorrow brings...

((hugs))

Caroline

[Maffoos mummy]

Hugs on the feeling isolated ladies, I can remember that well when I had ds. SUCH a learning curve isn't it? Just the best love in the world though  I also wanted to say how gorgeous your avatar is-my 4yr old spotted it yesterday and said "mummy can we do that? I'll get Charlotte's socks off"!!! LOL!! Hang in there girls, it really DOES get better, and that's coming from a woman who's happily doing a LOT of AP on dd just to get through the day with 2 LOs!!!  xxx

[Avas_Mommy]

Lol, thanks Maffoos! I am so open to hearing that sort of encouragement!! My avatar pic is my hubby's feet and Ava's (of course)- taken only a week or so after she was born!  I love it too, so thanks!

I feel so fortunate that I get to stay home and raise Ava for the first year- and I don't want to take it for granted. I haven't spent longer than an hour away from her since she was born and I would love to... but I just don't feel ready yet (and there isn't anyone I would feel comfortable leaving her with other than DH, so we'll see!). For now I am just trying to motivate myself for a good walk in the afternoons!

Caroline- how did your day go today? Ava slept through and transitioned in her morning nap! I couldn't beleive it! She woke 30 min before her bottle was due but was happy so I figured she had enough sleep! I felt a little more relaxed today. Hopefully it will get easier to chill out as the days go on- and hopefully Ava will sense that.

You are going back to work in Sept? I feel for you!!! I go back in Jan and I feel ill thinking about it- because it just feels like time is already going so quickly. No WAY does it feel like I have been away from the office for almost 4 months!! Unreal. What are your childcare plans (hope you don't mind me asking)? I don't know what I am going to do. I have in-laws very close by but I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of them taking care of her... is that horrid??

Hope your day went well- naps and all!

Thanks All!

(hugs)

Celina