ew starts the days ot everyday

[nazmommy]

My DD wakes up anytime between 3:15 and 4:00.  Its never the exact same time.  When she does wake up, she is typically happy and chatty.  By the time we get to 6:00/6:30, she (and I) is OT. 
I have tried...
*waiting to see if she'll go back to sleep on her own.  She will play for nearly an hour and then complain.  At that point I feed and she gets kind of sleepy but really struggles to go back  to sleep
*feeding as soon as she wakes up.  She will fall asleep on the boob but typically wakes up when I go to put her back in the crib.
*pupd (modified to her age), this just makes her mad as she is not really 'tired'.  I know she is tired but her body doesn't seem to cooperate.

My morning a time should really be longer but I can't get her to stay awake for much longer b/c of the ew.  Everyday we start our day exhausted and OT.

Here is very rough look at our schedule.  I will just assume a 3:30 ew
3:30 - ew
5:00 - back to sleep, maybe
6:00 - bf
7:30 - nap for 1 and 15  I can't seem to get them any longer
9:00 - play
10:00 - bf
11:00 - nap for 1 and 15
2:00 - bf
3:00 - nap for about 40 to and hour
5:30 - start bathing
6:00 - bf, wind down and bed.  I have put her in bed early like this for several days but it doesn't seem to effect her ew.  So, I just have put her to bed to give her more sleep.
10:00 - df

she is ebf

I feel like if I could just get her day started at the same time everyday, we could tweak naps and a time but when she has already been awake from 3:30, its hard to do much of anything with her. Some mornings, she will eventually drift off to sleep but then its only between 45 minutes to an hour.

[Barbaara]

hi there!

Usually EWs are a sign of your LO needing more A time during the day.  As your LO is 6 mos old I think she could handle a little more A time.  I would try to add 10-15 mins and see what happens.

A general guideline for A time according to age is:

Late 5 months/early 6 months: 2.25-2.5 hours
6.5 - 7 months: 2.75-3 hours. Some are getting more.

It's not easy she's ready to start the day at 3:30!    But maybe by gradually increasing her A times during the day you'll be able to break the EWs.

Keep us posted on how you're doing!

Barbara
x

[nazmommy]

how can I expand a times if she is already crying and ot by an hour and a half in the morning?
do I wait until she shows signs of sleepiness and then wait 10 min?

[~*Nicole*~]

We had a lot of issues around this age. I found that before I could work on extending A times, I had to work on the OT issue. I would do a "catch up" day...where I let my DD sleep anytime I thought she was tired. After a day of catch up sleep, so I knew she was well rested, I would try the new A times for the first A of the day the next day.

Also, once I started the new A time, someone recommended to me to STICK with the naptime that gave me no matter what time DD woke up (although you're lo is waking VERY early--so I think that might be hard). So, if you wanted your lo to wake at 6 and you were going to try 2.25 hours of A time, you'd plan on a 8:15 am nap time....so then you would stick with 8:15 as the nap time every day, no matter what time they woke up, to try to "train" their body to sleep later in the am. This tends to not work well with touchy babies as they get very cranky.

Does this make sense? I hope I didn't confuse you.

[nazmommy]

Do you mean that you waited until the day after she was well rested to extend a time?  We have definitely had a ot issue.  I am not really sure when to say that she is well rested as we seem to start the day ot everyday.  It is such a vicious cycle. I think if I could just get her going at the same time everyday we could work with a time better.  I just don't seem to be able to get her to a regular 6/6:30 wake up time.

She is a touchy baby and melts very quickly.  I like the idea of making her wait but it really gets ugly if I wait too long.   And since she is waking up so early, its hard to make her wait 3 or 4 hours to nap for her first nap.  Hard on mommy too!

Maybe I could work on extending a times in the afternoon first or will that create more ot?  Should I focus just on the morning a time for now? 

[~*Nicole*~]

Yes...that's what I mean. At first, I tried to extend the A times, but I did it right when she was having the trouble sleeping and it didn't work b/c she was OT and miserable. So I tried the catch up day of sleep (I might have even done 2 days) After that she was much more receptive to the longer A times.

I think you could work on the pm one first if you think she'd do better with it after her morning nap etc. Then once that is working, maybe then tackle the morning one. It's up to you.

The other things I was thinking about were:

*trying to do W2S for the NW...so trying to set your alarm for an hour prior to when it typically happens, going in, jostling her, and just trying to semi-wake her, but not completely, to break the cycle and see if after a few nights that stops the NW.

*Has she always nursed at this time? or did you go back to BFing when she wakes (I saw you did it after awhile of her being up and also right away and neither got her back to sleep well) recently. If you have gone back to it, but don't think she is necessarily hungry at this time, maybe the BFing has created a habit of her wanting to be nursed at that time and you could try to avoid BFing at all during this period? again to see if it is a habit that she is waking at this point.

*Are there any ways that you KNOW for sure your lo will fall asleep? In a swing, for a long car ride, for a long walk. I wonder if you do some APOP to get the naps to go longer, you might be able to cure some of the OT and she might sleep better at night as well.

*Does she have a lovey or a pacifier? My DD did well around this age to start falling asleep with a little blankie/bunny thing, which as she got older she associated with sleep. She plays with it now until she falls asleep most nights.

*Could the temperature in her room affect her? Is she moving around a lot? I had to swaddle DD for a long time and I still (at 8 months!!!) wrap her legs in a blanket. Last night for the first time, I had her in one of those sleep sack wearable blankets, and she stayed warm all night b/c she couldn't move around and get out of the blanket, it went where she went, and she slept better than she has recently, so I think the temperature might have been changing through the night and affecting her.

PHEW I just left you with a TON of rambling info, I don't want your head to explode, so I am going to stop now!

Good luck, I hope something in there is helpful.

[nazmommy]

Lately I have been so exhausted that I have been bf'ing at that time.  It doesn't really seem to work.  There is no ap that works at that point either as she 'isn't tired'.  I know she is but she doesn't seem to think so.  She's not crying at that point.  She doesn't let me rock her unless she is super sleepy or sick.  (side note:  what is apop?  I know what ap is but what does apop stand for?)
I have tried the introduction of a lovey and I think that she is getting more attached to the blanket but I wonder sometimes.  She has had this weird thing the last few days of really fighting me to roll over on her belly.  She will fall asleep there so I guess that's okay but she doesn't hang on to blanket real well then.
About the w2s.  She doesn't wake up at the same time so its hard to know when to do it. Any suggestions?
I have thought about the temperature thing a lot but wouldn't she have woke up several times in times in the night and especially before 3:30 if she were hot/cold?
It seems like she changes her mind everyday with what works.  I am trying super hard to stay consistent but I also don't want to ignore her needs.  I feel like such a failure as this has been going on for over a month and I can't get it right. I am so exhausted!!! 

[~*Nicole*~]

It is really frustrating, but we'll keep working on it. APOP is accidental parenting on purpose, meaning that you do what you know you're not supposed to do just to get them to sleep and then you worry about breaking those habits later and often you don't even need to b/c you only do it once or twice.

You are certainly not a failure. Especially with how hard you are working on figuring this out. My DD isn't one to let me rock her to sleep either. She only seems to like falling asleep in her crib....and she even fights that if she is OT. So let's see.....why don't you pick one thing to tackle first. If you don't think you can get her to sleep when you want to catch up on sleep and avoid OT.....let's try what Barbara suggested and have you work on extending one of her A times. You said you thought the second A time after she had napped might be the best. Try extending that by about 10 or 15 minutes and see how that goes. Remember that this might push the next nap later as well since your lo will be more rested etc. which may push your bedtime a little bit later. Just see how it goes and try to follow her cues.

(about the temp. sometimes it takes awhile for the temp in my house to fall enough to disturb DD so for most of the first hours of the night she is fine, but tends to stir later on if it gets colder, etc.---also, I think the first part of sleep for many los is the first few hours or so and as it gets closer to morning they are in lighter sleep and are awakened more easily. that's why if ANYTHING wakes up your DD during those hours, she is less likely to settle back to sleep and will be UP)

[nazmommy]

how can you tell if she is hot or cold?  I know that sounds like a silly questions but she isn't shivering but her back is a bit sweaty.  What can I do about it?

[~*Nicole*~]

Really, I have just tried to make a guess. If I go in and the room seems slightly chilly to me, I wonder if it  might be a bit cold to her.  I also try to think about what temperatures I know she has been comfortable with and keep the room around that. We had a heat wave here recently and I put in an air conditioner that I can program what temperature I want it to be so when it got to that temperature it would go off instead of continuing to make the room colder. We have a very old house so it doesn't regulate the temperature well. If your house keeps the temperature at what you set it well, then you're probably fine. A lot of people turn their heat down (in the colder weather) at night b/c they are under the covers, but my DD can't handle that, so I keep it up a bit warmer than my DH and I would have.

If your DD is a bit sweaty, you could try lighter pajamas (maybe just a onesie) or a lighter blanket if she uses one. You could get a window fan....but I wouldn't direct it at her. You could even just check your thermostat and see what the temperature is and try to lower it a little bit.