Shush-pat help

[shawnaiko]

We are trying to get my 11wo DS to sleep better and more independently. We have made the mistake of always rocking/bouncing him to sleep and carrying him for naps during the day--it's the only way he's been able to go to sleep and stay asleep since he's been born. So to break these habits, several people recommended using the "Four S" routine.

So I tried it today and the fourth S--shush pat--did not work. DS was crying so frantically that I had to pick him up and shush-pat him over my shoulder several times (which BW says to do). And each time I would put him down again he would cry immediately. Shush-pat in the crib was not able to calm him down. So it really became a more pick up-put down routine, which BW says is not to be used on babies under 4 months.

What should I do? Should I leave him in the crib longer and see if the shush-pat eventually works? Or will he just get more worked up/overstimulated if I let him continue to cry? Or do I keep picking him up and putting him back down? Also, how long should this go on? What happens if DS misses an entire nap because he won't sleep? Do I put him to sleep again right after the next feeding?

So many questions, I know. Thanks in advance!

[annette.xx]

Hi

I remember starting the BW routine about the same time as you and I too was the queen of AP....I used to jiggle her in an upright position for about an hr to get her to sleep!!!....

the 4s routine used to take me ages too cos she would just cry through the shh pat!!!....heres what I had to do to get it to work.....

go to room, black it out, put white noise on swaddle her and the sit part became sitting and straight away shh patting her against my shoulder (she would cry for ages if I was just quiet!!)....

she also always cried when I put her down....I had to shh pat her on my shoulder for quite a long time at first to get her either almost asleep or completely!!!!......I think about 10 mins when I first started.....

still when I put her down she would cry and shh pat in cot didnt work so I would pick her up again and do shh pat until she seemed completely calm....it doesnt matter at first if you have to do it till they are asleep cos you can then start adapting and shortening it....

after maybe 5-7 days It was getting quicker so I always continued shh pat in the cot....you need to shh pat for just a short time while holding them till they feel calm then slowly lower them into cot while still shhhing really loud.....I found It was important to continue the shh...dont break it or they will get frustrated.....

you tilt them to side and then continue shh pat.....it needs to be real loud so its louder than their cry and the pat has to be very firm.....also the closer I leant in the better as she could sense my closeness and this helped....just dont give in keep doing it in cot for at least a couple of minutes even if they are crying....after a couple of minutes if they are still frantic then pick them up and give short shh pat again.....then when calm and almost asleep back down and repeat.....

after you have successfully gotten them asleep with shh pat in cot keep shh patting for a while gradually getting more gentle as you go and make sure you keep doing it for about 10 mins at least or they will wake crying when they jolt!!

then I would stay in room for a while after and observe just to see if she woke again so I could jump in with shh pat if needed......

after a couple of wks I had really mastered it and my LOs sleep went from about 8 hrs a day (yes you read that right!!!) to 16 hrs!!!!

I still use a variation of shh pat now at 5 months ...tho it only takes 5 mins at most normally!!!

my LO was (still is) the touchiest of babies and had colic and reflux pretty bad so if it worked for me (with a baby that cried from 5pm to 5am!) it will work for you!!

if he doesnt go to sleep at after 45 mins of trying give him a feed and short activity such as change nappy then put him back down so he doesnt get OT!!!

also must add ...I know I said it took 2 wks for me to get her to fall asleep well with it but alot of babies are much quicker if you are persistant so dont panic....it could all be working in as short as 3 days!!.....tho also dont despair if it takes longer...as i said my baby was soooooo touchy and I thought it was amazing that it eventually worked...

Annette.xx

[shawnaiko]

Thank you for the detailed advice! I think that holding him until he is more asleep will definitely work better. And then we'll just shorten the time from there.

Did you start this with all sleep times (naps, bedtime, MOTN) all at once? I'm thinking of just starting with bedtime and MOTN since that's when he's more tired and we'll have more likely success. Not sure if that will work against us, but I'm so frustrated with the naps, and he gets so easily overtired if he doesn't nap properly (which affects the whole day) so I think we should get the nighttime sleep sorted first. Does this sound OK? Thank you again for your help!

[annette.xx]

if you find that easiest then go for it...

only advice I would give here is that when you get the daytime sleep sorted out the nightime will sort itself out!!....honestly it really does work that way!!!

first 3 months is spent sorting out night sleep and once they really get the hang of that and sleep longer stretches its the day sleep that needs the work cos thats the thing that throws the nite sleep off again!!....

they spend from 3 months to 5/6 months sorting out day sleep so if you get this cracked early on then you will have great sleeping patterns in the future....

I know its soooo tough in the day when they are so grumpy and just wont nap properly but once you get the shh pat mastered for naps you will find that when they wake after 45 mins etc it will work to get them back down again and then after a while they actually stop waking and sleep the whole nap!! yay!!!

work on the morning nap first cos thats the easiest to get them back down and then work the rest out from there.....

I know it all too well..it was soooo bloody hard but it was well worth it and once youve cracked it you have that skill forever!

good luck...please let me know progress

Annette.xx