12wk old - battling sleep (regression)

[ryates71]

Help!  We were really getting somewhere with battling the sleep monster but suddenly seem to have taken a massive step backwards!!  He's never been the best sleeper but this is sooo frustrating!  What am I doing wrong???

Up until a week ago he was going down ok - so long as I got him in his crib within 1hr 30min of waking. Our routine was a classic 3 hr routine with 2 good naps and 2 short naps. (On the short naps I would do A before E to keep to 3 hr routine).  He is tightly swaddled, sleeping in his crib, with white noise.  If overtired I was using the dummy.  (He doesn't have many tired cues so I was clock watching or taking him up when he first started fussing)

Now, I take him up either by clock watching or when he first fusses.  He is fine until I swaddle him, then he fights, squirms and crys.  Doesn't matter whether I am holding him or put him down in his crib.  After about 15 mins he seems to calm a bit so I get him down in the crib with shh/pat.  The only other thing (AP) that seems to work is walking around and jiggling him on my shoulder.  I have tried shortening and lengthening A time but doesn't seem to make a difference.  I have also tried without the swaddling and doesn't seem to make a difference.  Other changes in the past few weeks have been:
a) He won't take paci/dummy - seems to wind him up even more.
b) He has discovered his hands - can grasp toys when under his baby gym.
c) He has dropped his night feed ( but is unsettled from 5am onwards  - however not starting the day until 6.30/7.00.

Anybody any ideas on what I can try?

Also have 4 year old at home with Impetigo so my two days to focus on getting back on track have been taken away from me!

Oh, the joys of motherhood!!!

[sopbrew]

Hi

This is almost identical to my problem. My little girl has also had the same changes as your baby. I hope there is an answer to all this. Its nice to know someone else is in the same position as me.

[lizzieHarrold]

hello!!

big hugs all round.

I know how you guys are feeling, I feel like I have battled through every type of sleep issue with my two - I have a 4 year old daughter and 4.5 month old son.

I too ended up clock watching for a while, but it just was not the best way forward for me.  So I totally went with their cues and and routine is a little bit of EASA, but it works really well for us.

When my son starts fussing, I move him on to something else, I used to assume that first fuss was tiredness but it was sometimes boredom.  So now when he starts I take him upstairs and lay him on our bed whilst I do my upstairs jobs, when he starts fussing again, I know this is tiredness, so pop him in his grobag and pop him down.

With the swaddling, I swaddled both of mine until they started fighting it, and then I just swaddled one arm.  This was quite a nice half way house for them before total freedom and it also encouraged them both to self soothe a bit by sucking their fingers.

They both also went through a phase of 5.00am wake ups, but eventually both got through it as we kept treating it as a night waking.   

Certainly with both of mine we went through a period of it all going horribly wrong before it got better again. 

You both sound like you are doing just great!    Its so hard isnt it, but am sure when our kids our millionaires we can remind them of these times......

Take care and keep in touch.

Lizzie xx

[sopbrew]

Thanks Lizzie thats all of great help. I will have to remember to try change of scenery and not assume they are tired at the first fuss. I have just put my baby down and she went crazy again so i unwrapped the swaddle and she has settled. I am worried that the jolts will wake her so i think i will try the one arm out approach.

sophie

[lizzieHarrold]

Hi

Glad to have helped..!   I sometimes think there is something to be said for going through the pain of letting them get used to things, eg, arms and legs out etc.   Generally when I have ever gone cold turkey on anything, it has been a maximum of 5 'bad' days till things get better.

I had just got to the point where all was good, and now we have gone back to early wakings at 5.30am..!!  Hey ho, at least the little man just chatters for about 15 mins then goes back to sleep without needing me to go in.

And he has started rolling now and getting hugely upset because he cant get back... There is always something isnt there!   

Take care

Lizzie xx

[ryates71]

Hi Sophie,

I was worried about the jolts waking DS but his second nap today I put him in a grobag rather than swaddling and he managed 1hr 30mins!!!! (He still fought for 15 mins beforehand though).

My Mum suggested that as he now rejects the dummy to try and find something else to help him make that transition from wake to sleepy.  So for this nap (now) I used one of those toys with a pull cord that plays a lullaby in the hope of distracting him - it seemed to work a treat (5mins fussing rather than 15mins fighting).  Will not get my hopes up too high but fingers crossed.

Lizzie - thanks for the suggestion on boredom - hadn't thought of that.  Mind you - it's hard to be bored when you have a 4 year old to "entertain" you.

By the way - just been to the baby centre and their advice was to leave him for 5 mins (crying).  Won't be going back there for advice then!!!!

Rachel

[sopbrew]

Hi Rachel

My second nap was really rubbish. We had the fighting and crying so i unwrapped and she appeared to be going off on her own but the arms and legs were all over the place so i tried one arm out and she woke at the 10min jolt so i wrapped her up but not to well and she was waking on and off for 45 mins. I have one of those grow bags i should give it a try, I also have one of those toys which i will also give a go. God this is such hard work!

Sophie

[sopbrew]

Hi Rachel

thought i would just share with you that i just put my baby down for her nap and didnt even try to swaddle her, just gave her the dummy and blanket as usual and she dropped off and has been asleep ever since so we will see what happens.