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Author Topic: At the end of my tether  (Read 1646 times)

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Offline jmima

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At the end of my tether
« on: September 09, 2009, 01:33:23 am »
My DD (16 months) has never been a great sleeper but we always got by. She'd have a sip of water then go back to sleep. We moved house 2 months ago and since then she has been an utter nightmare. I know it;s been a big move for her and it's only to be expected but I really can't go on like this. I'm expecting number 2 in 2 weeks and I am shattered.

She will go to sleep in the single bed in her room ok at night but like clockwork, she will wake up about 12ish. Then she will scream her head off, throw the mother of all tantrums until we give in to her demands - getting in the big bed with mummy and daddy. If we give in, she'll go back to sleep straight away. If we don't, as you can see by the time of this post, the screaming will go on and on and on. She screams whether I am in the room with her, whether I am in the bed with her or not, it makes not one jot of difference. The only thing that shuts her up is being picked up and taken out of the room.

Her daytime routine is fine in every other way. She's not a tantrummy child, in fact, everyone comments on how placid and happy she is. She has a 90 min nap at lunchtime, her food at 6pm, bath at 6.30pm, brush teeth, bedtime stories and cuddles then bed with warm milk at 7.30pm.

What now?
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Offline lilisuze

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2009, 09:37:49 am »
jmima, sounds awful, so couldnt read and run. But i have no advice for you really as my lo is in a crib still. The only thing I can think of is trying some different things in her bed so she might want to stay in there. Does she have a lovie? You could try changing the duvet cover (or is she in a sleeping bag)

The other thing is, is there something happening about 12 that wakes her? Does the boiler make a noise or someone in the street gets in from work? Not sure if you could do W2S at this age, wouldnt have thought so but its worth a try.

Is she big enough for a sticker chart with a prize if she stays in her room all night?

Lili xx
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Offline anna*

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2009, 10:05:11 am »
(((((hugs)))))) you must be exhausted.

I second Lili's idea that W2S may be worth a try. Was she climbing out of her cot which is why you made the transition to big bed?

Now I hate to say this and I know it is not helpful but if you sometimes take her out of her bed into your room, that is only going to prolong the problem. The only way she will know that she does not get to go in mummy and daddy's bed, is if she never gets to go in mummy and daddy's bed.

I'll be reading along and will chime in if anything more occurs to me.
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Offline jmima

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2009, 15:39:45 pm »
I've told DP that from now on she stays in her room and that's final. The last two nights though, in the end, I just sat on the single bed with her when she was starting to calm down, she curled up on my lap and went to sleep - but I had to spend the rest of the night there with her  :-\ Again, not ideal. But when she is the throws of her tantrum, she is scratching at her face and hair, hitting me if I come anywhere near her and screaming for dad-dad (he's the soft touch). It's only when she's exhausted after 2 or 3 hours of screaming that I can approach her. In the meantime, I just go in every few minutes to try and wipe her nose, but I just get shoved aside. God it sounds so cruel but I promise her bedroom door is open, the living room door is open, the lights are on and she can see and hear me. I don't just leave her to scream I promise LOL!

And yes, she was climbing out of her cot in a Kamakaze fashion so it was no longer safe. She has a toddler bed but refuses to go in it  ??? and seems happy in the single bed, also in her room so we've let her have that small victory.

Modified to add: She does have lovies but she's not really bothered by them. Bunny and Teddy have been in her cot since she's been in it, she plays with them for a bit then shoves them aside to sleep. She does look for them if they're not there though. As for a noise about midnight, no, nothing. We live in a quiet block of flat full of retired people, no pubs or clubs nearby, no main roads... Just the river. I have problems sleeping coz it's too quiet LOL! I have changed the duvet cover, have tried her with a blanket instead of duvet 9thought she might have been too hot) but no, made not one jot of difference.
« Last Edit: September 09, 2009, 16:49:21 pm by jmima »
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Offline anna*

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2009, 16:52:40 pm »
(((((((hugs)))))))) it sounds like you're doing everything you can. Is there anything else that could be making matters worse, like teething, overtiredness?
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Offline Mama2boys

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2009, 17:09:46 pm »
hugs, sounds tough..also wondering is there any chnage taht happens around then, like say a neighbour coming in and thats wakes her up, A/c/heater tuning on etc.

DS also sleeps lighter around midnight and things to wake him up.

what about a wee, does she wee around then? DS wee's by the clock at night....

I would second PP and suport W2S or GW,  but you will ahve to make a hard stop when it comes to the coming to mom and dad bed. We ha dto do the same, 1 week was hard and then DS got it. we allow it now on and off as a special treat but certainly not as a regular thing.
Also when she wakes up if instead of taking her to your room, what if you offer to cuddle and let her sleep in her own bed? or maybe on cushions on the floor etc? Sometimes thats worked for DS
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Offline jmima

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2009, 08:09:53 am »
She woke at 10pm last night and threw her tantrum till gone 12 :( I just kept going in, she asked for a nappy change, which she got and after a while, she curled up on my knee and fell asleep. She woke again at 2.30am and by then I was so knackered I just got into the single bed with her so she conked straight back out. I know it's another bad habit to get into and tonight I will be tougher LOL!

As for teething, I don't think so... she's only got 4 more teeth to come (back molars) but I can't see any signs of them yet.
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Offline anna*

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2009, 21:43:20 pm »
Well done -you did brilliantly. Stick with it. In a few days she should start to get the message and hopefully you will be able to stay out of the bed.
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Offline lilisuze

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2009, 04:02:52 am »
jmima, NICE ONE! She did not go in your bed. All night. And thats a big start!!!!
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Offline jmima

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2009, 22:06:55 pm »
I'm going to try and be extra tough tonight and stay out of her bed completly... we'll see!
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Offline anna*

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2009, 22:40:14 pm »
(((((((((hugs))))))))) hope it goes well tonight.
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Offline jmima

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2009, 11:58:09 am »
Well she woke at 12, I gave her a drink and she went straight back to sleep. Then she woke again at 2am and this time, she wanted me, not water. I just left her to it, but kept going in every 5 mins and she eventually fell back asleep after half an hour. Chuffed to bits with my success, I went back to bed, only for her to start her shananigans at 3.30am. By then I was so knackered I just got into bed with her and she conked straight out. I'm kinda pleased with how it went but also disappointed with myself for having given in so easily. I must be tougher tonight but it's hard when you're so tired!!!
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Offline anna*

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2009, 17:26:17 pm »
(((((hugs))))) I know it is SO hard! But look how much brilliant progress you've made already in only 2 nights!
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Offline jmima

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #13 on: September 13, 2009, 08:23:27 am »
Well you're never gonna believe this but she slept right through till 7am  :o She had a bedtime tantrum till about 9pm and that was her out till the next morning!!!! The only thing we did differently during the day is that she had 2 long walks 9with no buggy) instead of just one and we spent more time in the day in her room. I bought her a new duvet set and she "helped" tidy her room, then we had cuddles on her bed and played hide and seek with her lovies and her duvet. I guess I'll try the same again today and hope for as good a result tonight. It's the best night's sleep she's had since we moved here at the end of June!!!!
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Offline lilisuze

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Re: At the end of my tether
« Reply #14 on: September 13, 2009, 09:18:57 am »
Yeah!!! Woop!
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