Here we go again

[* Paula *]

As most of you know, we have had a rough time with DD's sleep over the past few months.  Things were eventually on track, once we moved her from her tiny toddler bed into a proper single bed, and she was happy.  We had the odd blip with teething but things were really going well.

She has officially dropped her nap  She still gets offered it every day, but if she naps 1 day out of 7 it is a lot, and unfortunatley there is not much I can do about it.

Over the past few nights things have been going really bad.  She has been going to bed like a dream, but then wakes up in the middle of the night and refuses to go back to sleep.  One night last week she was up from 2:00am until 6:45 am where she eventually fell asleep only to wake up at 07:05 am ready to start the day 

Another night she woke up just before 5:00 am - only went back to sleep after 7:00am - and then only woke up at 10:00am.  I know I should not have let her sleep that long, but we were going to be out all afternoon, so it seemed like a good idea

Today she napped for about 50 mins in nursery - something very rare, anyway, bedtime was a nightmare.  She asked to go to bed, she asked for her milk and then went to bed.  She was ok for about 15 mins and then started playing on me, calling for me, saying she wants her baby, wants more milk.  When I ignored those calls, she started crying hysterically.  She would not settle.  Kept on telling me I needed to sit on the floor by her bed (been there, done that, and it took us ages to get out of that habit).  Anyway, I was cuddling her to get her to settle down, and everytime I mentioned bed, she started getting hysterical again, saying she wanted to sleep in my bed, and when I said no, she threw herself on the floor.

I eventually calmed he down.  By this time it was 8:45, after putting her to bed at 6:45.  DS was in bed reading his stories (she had kept him awake), I asked her if she wanted to sleep in there, she said yeah, I put a duvet on the floor and her pillow and blanket and she went to sleep with his light on 

Now I could move her into his bedroom - I don't have a problem with this, but I do have a few issues:-
1 - she is a very light sleeper
2 - DS can be very loud and generally goes to bed after her
3 - DS likes stories before bed and then plays for a bit before going to sleep
4 - DS likes to sleep with the light on -I am able to turn it off once he is asleep but need to leave his door open and the landing light on shining into his room
5 - Did I mention that DD is a very light sleeper?
6 - DD has gone from being an angel / textbook baby to a Textbook / Spirited toddler - see my problem?

Any ideas what I can do - I am at my wits end, and cannot deal with these long NW's anymore.  They are driving me mad.

[Mashi]

Wish I could offer more than (((hugs))) Paula but I can't.  So, lots of (((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))).

[EloysH]

sorry Paula, sounds tiring!

(((hugs)))

I really hope its the two yr old molars coming and meaning that this will pass.  A few 22 month olds - 24 month olds around here seem to be getting the molars.  J definantly is getting them and we are having horrid EW's and 9 hour nights!
E x

[* Paula *]

Thanks for the hugs ladies, they are sure needed.

After only getting her to bed at nearly 9pm, she only had a 9 hour night  and did not nap at all today.

Thankfully she went to bed a lot better tonight - fingers crossed, she has a better night.

Eloise - You are probably right about the 2 year molars.  Still no sign of any of them on our side

[* Paula *]

Well after going to bed like a dream last night she was up at 5am Screamed cause she wanted to come into my bed.  I kept on putting her back to bed, and told DH it was his turn to put her back to bed.  She started screaming hysterically cause she waned me, DH ended up putting her in bed with me  I was furious.  She calmed down, but then kicked off cause she could not sleep on me so DH put her back to bed and she lost the plot.

Needless to say I was up dressed, kids dressed and at School, and it was only just after 8am

She ended up having a nap in nursery (not surprised) for an hour, but still took the mick before bed.  She asked to go to bed and then was asking for more milk.  I did not give it to her as she had already had a full cup.  Anyway, she eventaully settled on a duvet on the floor in Tom's room.

Do you think the way to go is to move the two of them in together?

What do you think?

[speechie]

hmmm... if it seems like she's going down easily in his room, may be worth a trial run to see how it goes?
Hugs to you, it's rough at this age- they get really good at stalling techniques, and I'm always trying to figure out if the need is genuine, or a little trick to be up later!!

[Mama2boys]

Ds always doe sthe long wake-up in night when he is OT and recently he has been refusing naps but falls asleep abit later than usual in a car/pushchair etc, so have you tried shifting the nap?
Also if she is happy sleeping in his room, mayeb its SA and you coudl offer her a small mattress in hsi room for a few days and see, how does DS feel abt her sleeping in his room?

[EloysH]

I was thinking along the same lines - if it is SA, then maybe shes better served by mattress in the room, or something like that.  Would putting the two in the same room help her with SA?     The risk is that you could have two kids with disrutped sleep, however you could try it just for 3 days and see what happens.

[* Paula *]

Thanks for the replies / suggestions keep em coming 

Cathie, the stalling techniques are great arent they.  If I carried on giving in to her with her milk demands before bed, she would probably drink about 3 cups  We stick with one though lol.

Mukta, I was thinking OT too, but she does not want to go down for a nap most days, even if offered later.  She is generally ready for bed by 5 - 5:30, so on no nap days she is in bed a little after 6 as that is when I get home. 

Yesterday she had a nap and it was only for an hour, and she was still messing around at bedtime.  Even though she was in DS' room, he was fast asleep, she was sitting on the floor playing with a teddy bear I turned his light off and she eventually fell asleep around 9pm  and then was up for the day at around 6:45am this morning. - 9.5 hours does not seem like enough sleep for me.

She did not nap today and when going to bed I asked her if she wanted to sleep in DS' room and she said no, she wanted her bed, and went to sleep within seconds.  It seems like the only time she messes around before bed is when she has had a nap.

Could it be SA and only affect her at night?  She is very clingy to me, but is not bothered when I drop her at nursery, but does cry when I leave her at other times for e.g. This morning DH was taking the kids to school and me to work.  I had an errand to run for work which was on the way to dropping the kids at school, I got out the car to drop the parcel of, and she screamed until I got back in the car even though DH and DS were in the car too   She has always been very clingy to me though.

What do you ladies think?

[speechie]

Could be SA-
FWIW, we've been having 9.5 hours nights here too. He's pretty happy during the day, but Mama's soooo tired.
HUGS.

[* Paula *]

Hugs Cathie, sorry you are not having long nights 

We are still having issues and it is driving me mad.  To be honest I am not sure it is actually a sleep problem, but more of a discipline problem.  She is definitely seeing how far she can push me.

I have noticed a change in her overall behaviour, and she is really pushing my patience.  She is refusing meals, and then asking for snacks, she is hitting and I even caught her biting DS

Everything is NO and if you tell her off, she tries to lash out and hit me. 

Tonight it took me an hour of putting her back to bed with her screaming her head off, and this morning she was up at 5:00am 

I tell you, If I even had any remote thought about wanting another lo,she has definitely put me off    My DS was so easy, and still is.

[speechie]

Paula- hugs right back at you!!
What is her personality- spirited? touchy?
Any milestones going on?
Ears? Molars? UGH.
This age is hard!

[sherry lynn]

Huge hugs Paula

[* Paula *]

Thanks for the hugs ladies, they have sure come in good use

Cathie, as a baby she was a combination of angel / textbook, but I have taken the test again now that she is a toddler, and she is a combination of textbook / spirited, and I can see more and more spirited tendencies coming out in her as she gets older.

Stacy, thanks for your advice it is really appreciated 

I have been thinking about sleeping in her room too - this seemed to help when we went away on holiday, as we were going through a similar patch in June, and when we were on hols we had to co-sleep and it did help her get over her SA and OT'ness, but it also made her very clingy to me, in that I could not move anywhere, she needed to be attached to me all the time.  When I am in her room, she will not stay in her bed, she wants to sleep on top of me.  Is this a spirited tendancy?

She woke at 5:30am this morning, shortly after my DH had left for work.  I am not sure if he disturbed her or what.  Anyway she came into my room and wanted to get into bed with me.  I was firm and took her back to bed.  I was prepared to carry on putting her back to bed until it was time to get up, but she did surprise me.  I only had to put her back to bed twice, and she went back to sleep which is something that has not happened for a long time.  I then had to wake her up at 7:30 to get ready for nursery.  Does this sound like progress?

She did not nap in nursery again today, and we had an early bedtime of 6:30 - could not do much earlier, as I only get home just after 6 after finishing work and picking her up from nursery.

She did not protest, she went to bed, I stood at the top of the stairs and listened for a bit, and she was happily singing, so I left and she went straight to sleep.  Fingers crossed this is not just a fluke.

Is stubborness and persistence one of the personality traits of a spirited child?

[* Paula *]

She acts up more when DH is at home whether he puts her to bed or not.