SLEEPING AFTER ILLNESS

[Kelmum]

Im after a bit of advice, my LO has been unwell on and off for about a month, an ear infection which originally caused us problems with trying to get her down at night (which we kind of mastered) and then last week she had a urine infection, which totally knocked her out of sync, its quite a job getting her down in her cot at night, and then she wakes cryin during the night and can be very hard to settle back into her cot, and because both I and her dad are working during the day, for a few days last week we took her into the spare room with one of us, so that when she eventually did settle we could get a bit of sleep too - so im really just looking for some advice as to how to get her back into the routine of settling herself at bedtime and naptimes, and sleeping right through.  We have for the past 2 nights tried the PU/PD with her and at about 3/4am we both give in and take her to the spare room because we know we are having to get up for work in a few hours.  Over the past month, she has had the above infections (antibiotics), a cough, a cold, 2 top front teeth appear, and I swear she is taller too so I know alot has been going on with her - but both her dad and I are shattered (and totally not used to night wakings, as havent had them since she was about 9wks old!!!!!), so any advice is appreciated

[jess, lukeys_mom]

Hi, can you post how old your lo is? Thx...

[Kelmum]

DOH!!!  Sorry, she is 14mths

[jess, lukeys_mom]

Hi again

Since she is 14 months I'm going to move this post over to Toddler Sleep for you to get you more advice.

So, when you have taken her into the spare room with one of you, has it been to sleep in the bed with either of you, or have you brought her cot in there too? The answer will probably determine what course of action you should take. If she has been in her cot in there, I would probably try WI/WO and see how that goes. If she has been cosleeping with you then you might have to re-start and work on gradual withdrawal. Either way, it might also depend on her personality and whether he tends to be clingy and need one of you around, or more independent. My ds1 for example was a pretty hands-off baby, so until he was about 18 montsh we had a lot of success with WI/WO to get back on track.

A comparison and a walk-through of both methods can be found here: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

Hth x

[Kelmum]

She has been sleeping in the same bed as one of us, but doesnt always settle straight away, wriggles for ages before she falls asleep (im not sure if she is suffering some windy side effects from the antibiotics), and even when she does fall asleep its only for a couple of hours then she wakes again as if she is uncomfortable??? Over the past few wks she has become more clingy to us, particularly me, which is difficult so I think there might be some SA going on aswell, plus she has gone from walking away on her own, to refusing to walk unless she is holding one of our hands - im putting it all down to side effects from being unwell.  Durin the day we are havin to put her in her pram to get her to sleep!!

[speechie]

Hi- major hugs to you, my LO has been hospitalized several times, and illness does throw them off!
In my experience, they are more clingy and do have some SA when/after illness. Are you giving pain meds at bedtime? That was really key for helping our LO get any rest. Plus, the MD okayed using melatonin for 2-3 nights to help him fall asleep more easily. There are no side effects/drug interactions, and worked in about 30 mins.
If she was a good independent sleeper before, it may take you only a week or so to see a positive change. I used a walk in/walk out, and grad withdrawal depending on what Nick needed each time. PU/PD really didn't work for our LO after 10 mos. old.
What is your current bedtime routine and plan- definitely read that link that Jess posted.

[Kelmum]

Just an update of where we are!  LO ended up in A&E again with horrendous rash and temp!!!!  Turns out we werent given the correct antibiotics first time round, and so her urine infection never cleared up.  Its now a kidney infection, and the rash was an allergic reaction to the infection, so she is now on new stronger antibiotics.  When these are finished we then have to put her on a nightime antibiotic to ensure she doesnt get another infection before she goes to get some tests done!! Talk about stressed out, and the poor wee thing doesnt know whether she is coming or going.  We have managed to keep her routine during the day pretty stable, ie still putting her down to sleep at the same times, but we now have to put her in the pram to get off to sleep - but nightimes are a disaster - no matter what time we put her down at she always seems overtired, and she flights with herself almost to get down to sleep, wont go anywhere near the cot, and so we almost always end up going to bed with her to try and get her to settle.  Do you think we just need to ride the illness out and then deal with the bedtime situation once she is better, or does anyone else have any ideas???  Up until the middle of August, LO was an angel baby, took her bedtime bottle, read a book, went into her cot, kiss nightnight, and that was her until the morning, so this is a really difficult transition of us, esp since we both work full time, but obviously we realise it isnt her fault she has changed like this - its all down to the illness.  Any advice would be very very welcome  

[LucySol]

poor baby!!! she has had a rough time!!
IMO i think you just need to get her to sleep an way you can,you cant sleep train while she is poorly.you said she was sleeping independantly before so it wont be too hard to get her back on track after she is better.just give her plenty of cuddles,anything that makes her feel better and worry about it when she is 100%.

(((hugs)))
Lucy xx

[Kelmum]

Ok, thanks for that - I was just a bit worried about starting a bad habit.  She has always been so easy to deal with that its not something I have had to worry about before - but I will take your advice and not worry about sorting the sleeping arrangements out until she is 100% - thanks

[speechie]

Huge hugs to you...poor little thing, I agree, wait till she's well to take on any sleep training.
I have been through several hospitalizations with my LO and it usually takes a few weeks to get him back on track...
hang in there and healthy vibes to your precious girl!!

[jess, lukeys_mom]

oh no poor girl
i feel for you guys, we are a 2x full-time working household as well and it is so hard to manage when you're not sleeping.
i agree with others about waiting on sleep train but would add to choose sleep techniques that you can live with for a while, and that you know you can wean. for example, maybe you can bring a bed into her room and one of you sleep there, rather than bring her into bed with you? that way she is still associating her own room with sleep, but has the extra comfort she needs right now.
hugs i hope all is well soon xxx

[Kelmum]

Thanks for that - over the past few days there has been a massive improvement in LO, eating like a horse and running around on her own again, so definitely starting to seem like her old self again - so I think it might be time to start trying to figure out the sleeping issue now.  Re your advice to move a bed into her room, unfortunately the room isnt big enough, and I had been thinking lately of decorating our other bedroom and moving in her in there, so now might be the time to do that, as I could easily fit a bed and her cot in there at the same time.  What is your best advice re how to deal with the nightime wakings?  It seems to me that once she wakes up and realises she is on her own in the cot, she gets very distressed - but at the same time, even when I take her into bed with me, it still takes her ages to get comfortable - her eyes are closed but she is flingin herself all over the place, and doesnt settle until she is half drapped over me, it makes me laugh now but not at 3am .  I know I somehow need to teach her how to self soothe again, but I never had to do it in the first place, so I have no idea what the best way to approach this is!!!!

[speechie]

Hi There-
SO glad your LO is feeling better!
Let's start at the beginning if you are ready to help her get back into a good pattern. FWIW, at 14 mos we had some SA going on, and I used a GW and WIWO approach- just tried the WIWO, and if he needed more support, used GW for a few nights. It took a few weeks, but he did get back into the pattern.
I always told him, "it's time to sleep, Mama is tired too, Mama wants to go to sleep, rest your head," etc etc etc. Endlessly WIWO, and laying him back down at times.
I sometimes sat in a chair next to his bed- and quietly waited for him to drop off. I've slept on his floor. It really depends on what works for you and your situation.
If she is one that already self-soothed at one point, it will come again soon!
Maybe post your schedule too? Sometimes people have good suggestions for any tweaks to help.

[Kelmum]

Sorry what is GW? 
Her bedtime routine has been abit messed up recently, but loosely we have stuck to getting ready for bed approx 6.50 - 7.10pm, followed by bottle and story - but once this is done and I put her down in the cot, she stands up straight away, sometimes she gabbles away, or depending on how tired she is she will start crying. If I leave the room she cries, sometimes if I sit on the chair in her room, she still cries - I have tried sitting on the floor beside her cot saying, 'show mummy how you sit down, put your head down etc' but it hasnt worked yet.  When she cries I left her up give her a cuddle and put her back down again, PUPD, and she will be calm, but she will eventually stand up again and then she gets OT and starts to cry.  But sometimes even when im holding her she wriggles about as if she cant get comfortable on me (you will see I noted this in previous posts too) 2 nights ago, I decided to try the PUPD again, but she kept arching her back and trying to lie flat while in my arms, everytime she did this I lay her down in the cot, until eventually she stayed down and I rubbed her belly until she fell asleep, she slept for about an hour, and then she woke up every hour on the hour, I nursed her and put her back down in the cot another 3 times before giving in and taking her into the bed with me - feel like im fighting a loosing battle now cos I know she is playing me a bit as she has got used to going into bed with me due to her illness

[speechie]

GW=gradual withdrawal
Read this link and see if you get some good ideas from it!
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0
What is her schedule now?
Wake at:
Nap: from-to
Bedtime: you said was7:10 for story, but what time are you laying her down?
It can be hard to say if she's OT/UT...some babes also have a drop in sleep needs and need a schedule tweak?
Also, to be waking every hour on the hour...is she still uncomfortable? Any ear infection lurking. If she's not feeling well, then sleep training won't work yet.
If there's not room for a bed for you in her room, can you pad the floor and sleep next to her crib for a few nights as needed? That may be better than taking her into your bed and "giving in" which may just reinforce that she can get into your room at night if she holds out long enough.
Big hugs and much support, it's not easy!! You will get there with persistence and patience...