getting worse

[banu]

hi ladies,

i am worried about my lo. he is turning a close mouth baby day by day. it does not look like a temporary term, like teethining. because of he is very active baby and does not like to sit for a long time at the chair i splitted his meals into two; mains and snaks. first he ate very well, 130 cc at mains, 70 cc at snaks in 10 min. But now it takes almost 30 min to eat only 60 cc at main course. i give more and different toys to take his interest but he does not interest any more. i dont wanna be a mother who runs after their child with a spoon.
my two big mistake; 1- i kept him sit at the chair for a long time as if 6 mos baby while he is growing up.
2- i insist him to eat more while he gains low weight term.

i need a road map urgently. how many min should he sit at the chair? how much toy is normal? when should i end the meal? what should i do if he eat few during the normal days? i am too anxious about the future.

[anna*]

(((((hugs))))) he will not let himself go hungry. If he is not interested in eating, just get him down from the chair. Give him a small snack at his usual snack time, and then offer him a proper meal at his next mealtime. If you give extra snacks and extra milk when he refuses a meal, he still won't be hungry to eat!

Other things you can do at meal times include giving him a spoon so that he can try to feed himself. Yes it will be messy. With my LO, I would have two spoons, one for him to try with, and one for me to put food into his mouth in between his tries. Also sometimes I would load up a spoon and put it in his hand so he could put it in his mouth while I loaded up the second spoon.

Another thing to try is finger foods. My LO never ate sticks of food, but he loved using his pincer grip so blueberries, halved grapes, cubes of cheese etc were good. They would keep him occupied sitting still, and I could feed him while he worked on his finger foods.

Try to relax. I promise you, he will not let himself starve.

[banu]

thanks anna,

our snack times means small amounts of main course. i still feed him by spoon during the snack time. i do that just because of i dont know.

and i would like to stop give toys him, i preffer give finger foods and spoon to him to feed himself as you do. i know he will not like at the beginning - hope not always- and probaply does not eat a lot. should i keep on not giving toys and give fingers and his spoon? should i let him hungry - i know my baby can do if he is hungry-

lastly, i dont understand one thing. giving him a spoon aims that he will try to eat from his puree?

[anna*]

For snacks, I don't think you need to give him puree. Just give him finger foods. If he doesn't eat any, he will eat at the mealtime. Yes if you give him a spoon he can try to feed himself. Why not? No more toys at mealtimes. He can play with finger foods, and play with mummy (you can sing, make faces, chat with him). It won't do him any harm if he is a bit hungry because he didn't eat his lunch.

[Mimi 2]

I agree with Anna.  Try offering finger food instead of a toy so if he wants to play then let him play with his food.  His curiousity will rule and he will try to eat it or at least out it in his mouth.  Offer healthy food as snacks like carrot sticks, cuccumbers, broccoli,  fried sweet potatoes, fruits, toast fingers, etc.  Check out the http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=10.0 for some great ideas. 

i need a road map urgently. how many min should he sit at the chair? how much toy is normal? when should i end the meal? what should i do if he eat few during the normal days? i am too anxious about the future.

At that age I usually let my children leave the table when they begin to fuss or indicate that they are done eating.  I may try to keep them entertained by offering ice chips/cubes so they would stay an extra 10-15 min at the table (and sometimes they would eat a few more bites).

If they didn't eat much on some days, then I made sure they had enough milk before bed.  Healthy babies will not starve themselves.  If he doesn't want to eat now, then offer it at a later time.  I understand your anxiety but take a deep breath and relax. 

Hugs.

[banu]

At that age I usually let my children leave the table when they begin to fuss or indicate that they are done eating. 

my lo now starts to fuss before the first spoon. what should i do then?

I may try to keep them entertained by offering ice chips/cubes so they would stay an extra 10-15 min at the table (and sometimes they would eat a few more bites).

what is the avarage time for keeping the babies at this age at the high chair for meal time? i was told before 10-15 min is enough.

If they didn't eat much on some days, then I made sure they had enough milk before bed.  Healthy babies will not starve themselves.  If he doesn't want to eat now, then offer it at a later time. 

so i will try to feed him later on, lets say every 10 min and if he still doesnt eat i BF him before sleep. right?

Yes if you give him a spoon he can try to feed himself. Why not?

sorry for this question but in my culture mothers feed their child till they are school age. so i have never seen self feeding babies. what i do is, i put the puree in a jar and i hold the jar in my hand. and i give the food from the jar by spoon.  my question is; do i put the puree in a plate and expect my baby eats from in it while i feed him?

[anna*]

Yeh you can put it in a little plastic bowl (so he can't break it), and let him play with dabbling his spoon in it etc.

[Mimi 2]

Banu, in my culture it is also not unheard of to see a preschooler still been spoon fed.  As it is an accepted practice, there is no push for the child to self-feed. 

Is he fussy just sitting in the highchair?  Or when you feed him?  Do you think that you can just let him play in the highchair when it is not feeding time?  Let him have a positive association with the highchair.

The "normal" meal time is really subjective.  10-15 min seems to be about normal as after a while los gets distracted.  However, sometimes I can get my children to sit longer in the highchair if I give them something to play with. 
 
Sometimes our meals are only few minutes (or bites) long.  If that is the case, I just continue the meal about 15-30 min later.  I don't continue feeding every 10 min. 

If he is hungry and doesn't want to eat solids, then offer him bm.   

[banu]

distracted

Is he fussy just sitting in the highchair?  Or when you feed him?  Do you think that you can just let him play in the highchair when it is not feeding time?  Let him have a positive association with the highchair.

he is fussy both sitting at the high chair and eating. i sing a song or give a toy then he sits. then he refuses to eat and i give toys. i will use the high chair as a play tool as you offered but what will i do if he shuts his mouth at the beginning?

[anna*]

If he refuses to eat at all I would give him a spoon and some bits of finger food to play with. If he's still fussing and doesn't want to open his mouth, leave it for now and try again in 10-15 mins time. If he refuses the second time, leave it until the next meal. He won't let himself starve, and there's no point getting into a battle with a 10 month old about it.

[banu]

thanks a lot, i will do what you said and watch his weigh by the time

[banu]

If he refuses to eat at all I would give him a spoon and some bits of finger food to play with. If he's still fussing and doesn't want to open his mouth, leave it for now and try again in 10-15 mins time. If he refuses the second time, leave it until the next meal. He won't let himself starve, and there's no point getting into a battle with a 10 month old about it.

hi again,

i have been tring your offers for 10 days. he is ill by the now. what i wonder do i do the same things for main course at snacks?[

and do i bf him if he refuses his meals or will he stay/sleep hungry till next meal time?

[anna*]

If he's ill and refusing to eat, I'd BF him as much as he needs to keep hydrated and get calories into him. What does his Dr say?

[Mimi 2]

Please refer to http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=156840.0 to provide continue support & help to banu.