Why can my LO self soothe all night long but can't for nap?

[mctanner]

My 15 week old DD goes back and forth! She has been very consistently STTN since 8 weeks old, but cannot consistently sleep through her transitions (longer than 45min) for naps or in the evenings for bed. I have observed her, sh patted her, PU/PD with her and I have her on an excellent EASY that seems to be age appropriate. I feel like I'm missing some obvious piece to the puzzle or something.

She is only able to make it the full 1.5hours for her naps maybe once a day and that is only sometimes. Sh pat is hit or miss and I've been recently trying to HTTJ with varying results. It's like once she knows I'm in her room she's going to do her best to get me to get her up! Stinker! 

Her A time I do not believe is the issue but I could be wrong. She is spirited, so I consistently keep things low key and I use a combo of the clock and sleep cues for each nap time. Her average A time is 1hr 45min and can vary from 1.5 to 2 hours. She is currently on a 3.25/3.5 hour EASY with no catnap (3 naps). Here is my EASY:

E 7:30
A till 9:15
S 9:15-11:00

E 11:00
A till 12:45
S 12:45-2:15

E 2:15
A till 4:00
S 4:00-5:30

E 5:30
A till 7:30 (includes bath, jammies, bedtime routine)
E 7:30
S 8:00

DF 10:30 or 11

The evenings are the worst. Getting her to sleep is fine because she comes right off the breast, but keeping her asleep after 30min is horrible. DH has to stay in there with her for up to an hour to pat, shh, HTTJ before she is finally asleep.

She HATES to sleep.  She fusses as soon as I draw the shades in her room and growls and grunts crazily when we first start shpat. I have an extensive wind down routine as well and have tried everything from sitting with her and cradling/rocking her to walking with her to putting her right in the crib (all this with shpat of course). She always puts up some amount of fight and it gets worse as the day goes on. 

I am going to be transitioning her this week to a consistent 3.5hr EASY (2 longer naps and an 45min to hour catnap) still with 6 total fees.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!! It could be that she's just not ready to 'get it' yet. 

Hugs!

[Tweakster]

Hi there, it's not uncommon for LO's to be great night sleepers and horrible nappers, case in point my DS :-)  Napping is a very developmental skill and 12 - 20 weeks was the wonkiest nap time for us.  DS is still a short napper but it's more related to routine now than anything.  It's your LO that is missing the piece to the puzzle actually :-), that is the skill to transition between sleep cycles.  LO's figure out night sleep between birth and 3 months and then 3 - 6 months is when naps are developed. 

But that said, looking at your routine, two things jump out at me.

1) It looks as though she has a really long A to bedtime and that is probably causing some OT.  Finn's only just hit that 2.5 hours and he's 7 months.  Even with lots of naps under her belt it's a long awake time for her.  30 min wakenings are usually a sign.

2) She has a lot of day sleep for her age I think, most 4 month-olds are on about 3.75 - 4 hours and she's nearing 5. She could be UT going down for her naps at 1 hr 45 mins A time.  Have you tried pushing it out a bit during the day? Usually 45 min naps can mean UT and so that could be why you have to extend.

I would aim for what you are talking about, the 2x good naps (1.5 - 2 hours) and 1x CN but I would go for lesser A time at the end of the day with a slightly earlier bedtime just to rule out OT. 

The Spirited temperament is probably why she hates going to sleep, they have a way don't they.  My Touchy is the same, I think there is also a bit of Spirited in him as well. From what I have read a lot of the time the techniques outlined in the book don't necessarily work for Spirited because they get too riled up.  A lot of mums have had to 'leave them to it' - not leave them alone to CIO but just give them their space to go to sleep and find some variation of shush/pat that works for them. 
There is a Spirited support thread that might have some good advice re: wind down and extending sleep:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=141883.0

[mctanner]

Wow, All4Finn! Thank you for the detailed advice. I think I agree with everything you said and am looking forward to trying out your suggestions. I will start moving her to the 3.5hour routine w/ a CN this week and will try shortening her A time by about 15-30min in the evenings. Just today she's been able to tolerate 2 cycles of 2hr wake times, I think the trick will be getting her to sleep for 2 two hour naps!

Thanks also for the bit about spirited babies and their need to "fuss it out." I've let her do that at times when she's really fighting me and then I go put my hand on her and quietly say "hey hey hey, I'm right here," and then she'll go to sleep. But I've always had my doubts about letting her do that for fear of her developing a trust issue.

So Thank you so much! That's why I love this site, others always bring new light to what's so close to you.

Hugs!