I have a charming 9mth old who has never been the worlds best napper but over the last 5 weeks things have gotten really bad. He is now only taking 25min naps and is getting very over tired and I am exhausted.
A bit of history..
J has never been the worlds best day sleeper but nights have always been good (has STTN since about 8 weeks). He has always independently gone to sleep quickly and with no fuss. He isn't the best at self settling if he wakes early from a nap (have never actually successfully extended a nap) but will resettle at night time with no assistance.
He had surgery for a minor cleft lip at the start of September to which he coped with incredibly well. Immediately after the surgery we really struggled with naps, but after some help from the lovely people here I discovered he was trying to drop the catnap. We successfully dropped down to 2 naps a day and things were fantastic for about 2 weeks.
We then had a bad week of teething (with no teeth to prove for it) followed by another 3 textbook days and then things turn to chaos. Since then I can count on one hand how many naps he has had longer than 25min and our nights have also turned bad.
There has also been huge developmental steps. In 6 weeks we have gone from just rolling round to sitting, crawling and now pulling to stand. So he has a lot going on.
We also were a little bunged up, but that has been resolved with a slight change of diet and now he is regular and all is well.
Out of desperation I gave him a dummy which sends him to sleep quickly and easily. He hasn't had a dummy since 3 months old. I now think that this is becoming a problem at night, but I have been in a catch 22 as he needs sleep, but won't sleep without his dummy. He can replug it himself but can't find it in the dark, and although I put 4 or 5 extras in his cot these all end up on the floor. So he needs me to replug them in.
So an average day for us is
0600 Wake (can be as early as 5.30 or rarely as late as 7)
E 630 Bottle
E 730 solids
A
S 8.45ish (25min nap. On a good day this nap will be 1.5-2hrs)
A 0910
E 1000 bottle
S 1130 (again 25min-if I try putting him to bed earlier he plays in his cot and stays up later than this, and ends up having a meltdown)
E 1200 lunch
A
E 2pm bottle (on a good day we don't have this bottle it is an extra and he doesn't need it but without it getting him to nap is no existant)
S 2.30 he usually fights this nap and I give in and end up taking him in the buggy or car at about 430 for a nap. It is impossible to get him to nap in his cot at this time) If he does sleep again it is only 25min
A
E 4-5 depends on how the last nap went. If it was short (which it usually is) I give him an Early dinner (4-4.30) and we go in the buggy or the car for a nap.
S 4.30-5 in the buggy or car
A
E 6-6.30
S down to bed between 6 and 7 depending on last nap.
Will wake anywhere between 2 and 10 times during the night, and will normally just resettle with the dummy. And ususally we have an early waking too.
There just seems no consistency with what he does. On day his first A time works, and the next day it doesn't. It also seems by the time he shows me tired signs it is too late and he should have been asleep 15min ago, so I do tend to clock watch a little.
I have tired putting him to bed earlier and that ends up with a 45min nap and the rest of the day is messy.
He is still going to bed awake and happy, but with his dummy. If I don't give him his dummy he plays for a little while then gets grizzly and I panic and go in and give it to him and he settles down straight away.
Now that he is crawling I do a longer wind down with him cause he gets so hyped up and excited cause he is moving.
I have tried giving pain meds before naps, with hit and miss success. His room is dark and I have removed anything that is slightly stimulating for him. I have had him at the DR for a check up and he says he is fine.
I do not think it is a separation anxiety thing, as he can happily be away from me and plays well independently.
Like I said the dummy is an issue. I do believe that it is possibly making things worse, but don't have the energy to tackle this as well as bad napping and nights.
I have never successfully managed to extend his naps with with pu/pd or pt/sh, despite my best efforts. As soon as he sees me he thinks it is playtime. I have left him to see what he does and he cries for about a minute then just plays. Walk in/Walk out doesn't seem to be doing much either.
I am guilty of not giving him long enough to settle by himself and have AP’d with the dummy. I will go running in as soon as I hear him, which I know I shouldn't. But I just feel so desperate to get him to sleep that all sense of reasoning has gone out the window.
I just feel so frustrated as it seems like there is a window of about 3min to get him to bed. I also feel that there is no hope of getting him back on track for a day once it has started off bad, as if I put him to bed early he just plays and goes past “that” time and is still OT.
I am really starting not to cope with all of this so if anyone has any pearls of wisdom I would appreciate anything you can offer. I know it is all about timing that first nap right, but it just seems so hit and miss that I feel that I can't win.
