Help! I can't stop giving in to the nighttime feed!

[JayLeigh]

My LO and I have gotten into a BAD pattern. He settles ok, is going through several milestones: teething, creeping, SA etc. And has been waking at least once a night to feed, I just keep giving in! If I try and settle him, he gets angry, throws his loveys, pushes my hand away. I don't have the energy to fight him. Even if I get him to resettle by PICKING HIM UP (i know i know), he will wake a little while later complaing for a BF.

I don't know what to do and I am afraid he is too old for an "easy fix". I can't help but give in. Sleeping used to be my favorite thing! Pu/pd makes him hysterical in the middle of the night. We went through it for sleep training when he was 4 months, and it worked to get him to fall asleep. I think another bad habit, is sometimes when I am in a hurry or he is not settling for a nap, I will do a quick BF :-(

* bottles are NOT an option, he hates bottles and pacis and always has (though we keep trying!)

[anna*]

LOL hun, I think you have given yourself the answer - if you keep giving in, he will keep waking for it! How old is he?

[JayLeigh]

I know I know!!

DS is 7.5 months. How long should I expect it to take to break the habit? I just don't want to go forever without sleep and that is what it feels like! 

He is a fighter, like I said, he gets angry, pushes me away, throws his lovey kicks, but if I BF him he is back to sleep for in 5 minutes and I know he will stay asleep for several hours!

[anna*]

I know it's really hard. At 7 months my LO was waking 3 times a night for feeds which was just ridiculous. I was waiting and waiting for him to drop feeds himself but it wasn't happening, and I realised that he just wasn't going to drop them voluntarily! It took 3 nights before he stopped waking.

Are you still doing a dreamfeed? The first few nights might be brutally difficult. He might be hungry the first couple of nights. But he will quickly start taking in the calories he needs in the daytime, and when he's not being fed in the night there's no incentive for him to wake up.

[JayLeigh]

Thank you, I feel so appreciative that I am not the only one, and that it is not impossible to break free from!

I dropped the DF when he was waking once a night anyway. It wasn't a true DF either because he would wake up when I took him out of the crib. Should I start this again while I try and drop the night feeds?

I am positive he shouldn't need the feeding, he is almost 20lbs, and slept 12 hour stretches when he was only 3 or 4 months!

[anna*]

No, I wouldn't start it up again because you'd be looking to drop it again around 8 months anyway. You might as well stop all night feeds at once. Just imagine, soon he could be sleeping 12 hours!

[JayLeigh]

Do you have any suggestions for resettling? Will I need to do pu/pd again? Or should I try not to pick him up, that NEVER seems to comfort him. He wants to be held or BF!

[anna*]

If PUPD only 'stirs him up', it might be that all you can do is be with him. I know how hard that is, when you try to settle them with a comforting hand and they shove it away. When my LO was like that, I would often just sort of dangle my hand down into his crib, so that he could grab it and hold on if he wanted to. Most of the time I was just sitting with him saying 'it's OK sweetie. Mummy's here. You can do this, I know you can.' etc etc etc.