Previously Great sleeper - now crying at bedtime for a week- HELP!

[JBsMommy]

Just wanted to offer some (((HUGS!)))
I'm sure everything will get straightened out with his sleep soon. I know how frustrating it can be. My dd is 21 months old. When I read your post, my first thought was teething. My lo is also a great sleeper. Never fights nap or bedtime. BUT when she started getting her molars, things got very rocky. I would have to sit by her bed until she feel asleep. Each time, this would last about a week, and then she would go right back to her normal routine and I could just leave after saying goodnight. So, I would definitely treat for teething if you think it might be an issue, and then, maybe just give him that little extra time in his room to soothe him. I really worried at first about it becoming a habit for her, for me to stay in the room with her, but since she had such an established routine before, it didn't become a problem. As soon as the teeth quit bothering her, she knew how to soothe herself. Don't know if that will help, but just wanted to offer any suggestions I could that might be helpful!
Good Luck! I'm sure things will get back to normal soon!

[clazzat]

Just want to second what JBsmommy said - as he has had such a good routine before you can probably get away with quite a bit when he needs you, iyswim.

[MomofJamino]

Hi Everyone -

Thanks for all the input about my little guy and his (our) sleep issues.  Last night my hubby and I calmly talked about what our plan of action was going to be.  We decided that since we both felt so tired and stuck in a rut of constant crying.. and no down time for ourselves in the last week, that we would break the cycle tonight and then start action plan tomorrow.  I did give him a pain reliever at 6:30 in case it's his teeth.

So tonight we did our bedtime routine and after the second book I cuddled our son like I do every night for 1-2 mins in the rocking chair.  Then I picked him up and put him in the crib and he started to move to stand up immediately.  I just held his hand and he laid calmly.  I let him hold my finger (and he held it tight) for like a minute and then I just laid my hand on top of his.  Then I pulled away and just stood there for another 2 mins - and when I knew he was asleep I left the room and shut the door.  he was asleep by 7:40pm

He was asleep and the whole process took about 5-6 mins.  He stayed asleep until a few minutes after midnight and then woke up crying - but not sobbing.  I went in - laid him down, made sure he had his animal, blanket and pacifier and left the room.  It took about an hour for him to go back to sleep - I went in about 3-4 times... because sometimes he was talking (counting, singing old macdonald) and other times he was crying.  Finally the last time I went in I put my hand on his chest for 1-2 mins, then took it off and stood there for another minute and then slowly backed out of the room.  He wasn't asleep apparently and tried to get up and move many times to stand, but I just kept repeating, "lay down buddy"... I backed out of the room and didn't close the door.  He then stayed asleep until 6:55am.
He also started with a cold - coughing and mucus last night in the middle of the night.. so I'm sure that will make this next week a challenge too.

Not sure how I did.. but I needed him to sleep last night to break the crying cycle.

I have a few questions...about starting WI/WO tonight...
I know that some people were saying I should only go in if it's an "I need you cry".... and not mantraing... what is a mantra cry?

Do we wait before we walk back in or just shut the door and if he starts crying immediately do we go right back in?

If I do lay him back down myself as I'm saying "lay down" do I hold his hand for a second.. or just lay down and leave the room?

Thanks so much - I'm so glad I found this support system!

[clazzat]

Well done for last night - it sounds like you did great.  It also sounds like it won't take too long to get him back on track, if he responded that well to your first attempt.

A mantra cry is a noise that some babies make before they fall asleep on their own - it's fairly monotonous and it doesn't get louder if they are left.  Not all babies do it all the time - dd1 didn't do it very often, but there were times when she would lie in bed making some noise before falling asleep.  You will know when it is an "I need you cry" - it is really hard not to go straight to them when it is that cry, so don't resist!

You can go out, close the door and count to 10 if you like, or you can go straight back in.  I personally would tend to pause before going back in - I think that it can be quite overstimulating if you go back too quickly.

As for what you do when you are in there - that's up to you.  Essentially whatever works, so if holding his hand for a minute calms him down and helps him sleep then it is fine.  Bottom line is that whatever you do is teaching him the accompanying sleep associations, so you don't really want to do anything that you won't be prepared to do long-term.  For me, holding his hand for a minute is something I would be prepared to do every night if necessary, iyswim?  Having said that, my experience of a good sleeper gone bad is that once they get back into the swing of things they go back to their previous sleeping habits and you don't have to do what you have done in the interim.

[Julianne1984]

Ohhhhh! I just typed a long post but Clazzat got there first! Lol.I don't type fast enough!!

Well done for last night, sounds like things are heading the right way! xx