Just isn't eating, getting worried

[emz1907]

My lo turned 2 last October and previously was a really good eater always had a big appetite. About 6 months ago he started getting more picky about food and had developed a little bunch of favourites but would still eat those well. Lately though he is refusing to even eat these and Im getting really worried about how little nutrition he is getting, I have a drs appt on Friday and this is on my list of things to chat about but thought someone might have tips for me. He is eating so little at the moment I dont know how he carrys on, and will eat no fruit or veg it worrys me. He will also not eat meat apart from the odd bit of sandwich ham. His diet at the moment consists of little bits of:

toast with jam
banana
babybel cheese
yogurt
pasta
malt loaf


I find myself every meal time standing in the kitchen stressing about what Im going to give him. We've done the whole 'this is what we're having for dinner and that's it' approach we tried that for a long time but didnt make him eat anymore. We have tried all sitting down for dinner together (even though 4.30/5 is quite early for us to eat) and he has tried a few things but not much. I keep putting things on his plate in the hope that one day he might try them, I just want him to be able to eat a decent meal. I know they won't starve themselves but I really worry about how little he eats. He does seem tired a lot of the time and I wonder if this is due to his lack of nutrition?

[anna*]

((((hugs)))) It is SO frustrating and upsetting when they do this! I have had some success recently with basically rewarding Stan if he will kiss the food. I demonstrate kissing just a tiny piece of chicken or whatever it is he is refusing to eat. I'll have him kiss it a couple of times. If he will do that, I will ask if he can stick out his tongue and touch it on his tongue. Huge praise if he can do it. After that I will ask if he can put it in his mouth and take it out again. Repeat the praise, have him do that a few times. Then I'll ask if he can eat it up REALLY REALLY QUICKLY! And demonstrate. Quite often he will eat a little bit, I gues sbecause he has already got familiar with the look, taste, texture. If he'll do any of these steps I will give him a little sticker for his chart and praise him for tasting his food. (((hugs)))

[Brodster'sMommy]

What do you do when he doesn't eat some of the things you put on his plate? Do you interact with him a lot during meal time? Force him to eat? Lots of praises or negative talk? Curious what the interaction is between you and your LO.

Asking bc my sister is in the midst of a very similar battle and Ive been helping her try things. We've had a little success with certain things but I won't go into it if it doesn't apply to your situation, KWIM? Rather not chime in unless I can be helpful

[emz1907]

I never force him to eat, I sit with him but am careful not to be on top of him too much I try to be relaxed and let him discover his food himself. I say daft things like 'mmm doesn't that look yummy, oooh that's delicious' etc etc. If he refuses the meal I will ask him to please try a little but if he refuses I leave it at that. When he does actually eat something Im full of 'yay good boy, is that yummy, mammy is so pleased' etc. Sometimes if I can get a taste of it on his lips he will go from being a firm NO to wanting to try a little, but Im very mindful of making a big deal out of eating as I don't want to cause future issues with food.

[Brodster'sMommy]

I think you are so smart. My niece is almost 4 and my sister has been dealing with her food issues since about age two. I feel so bad for her (my sister). They have tried so many different things to get my niece to eat. The biggest success has come from ignoring her! In the last few years they have tried bribing, force feeding, punishments, etc. None have worked and I think all the attention on her food habits has made it worse. If you haven't already, maybe it's worth a shot to ignore him? Sit down for dinner and everyone else start eating. If he asks for food, give it to him but dont praise/chide him for anything. Then see what happens? Another thing that's good to remember in the midst of all this is that it's normal!! You are being a great mom for caring and not giving up. Hope you can resolve it soon. I have watched it tear my sister apart. Poor thing. HTH!!

[We Three]

I agree with pp...try as best you can to not react. Give him what he will eat, along with one thing he *might* eat on his plate every time. If he picks up a food, touches a food, squishes a food, that is ALL positive. A child will never eat what he won't touch...so let him explore and say very little.
Food can become such a battle, and that can bring on a whole set of other issues that are way worse than the pickiness ever was.  This WILL pass.  Keep offerring, just put stuff in front of him, and ALWAYS have something on his plate that he likes, that way he is happy, relaxed, and in "eating-mode".

As for new things to try, look at what he DOES eat and find things that have a similar texture/look to them.  For instance, a waffle can look/feel alot like his familiar toast.  KWIM?  He likes toast, he likes cheese, have you tried grilled cheese?

Also...since he'll eat yogurt, put it in a bowl, offer a dish of blueberries/raspberries, whatever, and just pick one up, dip it in the yogurt, pop it in your mouth, say "Oh Yummy" and leave it at that.  Some lo's LOVE to dip!

[wag]

I have the same problem with my 3.5 year old has been long term issue, lots of things dropped of the menu, chicken curry, cottage pie, fish pie etc.  She will not eat potatoes in any form and refuses to eat anything new, walks in to kitchen and looks to see what you are making, decalares her opinion of not eating that.  She is very very stubborn and no tricks work such as reward charts etc. 

She took it to a new level and started eating her spaghetti and bolonaise last night by hand and picking out the pasta bit by bit.  Took 1 hour and 10 mins.

New problem is that come supper time she will eat a bit of supper and then declare that she is hungry for ages, we have to feed her things such as bannan just to get her to shut up and go to bed  ( sleep that is another issue).  Little sister who is 1.5 is a far better eater and gets so annoyed with big sister.

I am sick of pasta pasta, the only blessing is that she loves fruit and aways has ( not veg) she loved fruit so much that it was all she would eat for a couple of months.

From when she was 6 months to just about 2 she spent 2 days a week to my parents when I was at work,  they say it as being as long as she ate something they were happy so if she played up they gave in and just gave fruit all the time no matter what i said, thus making life harder for me at home.

Sorry that I cannot help, as I need so much help myself.

Wendy

[clazzat]

You're absolutely doing the right thing in not making a big deal out of it.  It is just a phase, and the problems arise when they are created by the attitude of the parent, iyswim.  We had major issues with dd1 for a long time - she started out by being picky and moved on to not really eating anything (lost 1.5kg in the process) - but it passed.  She's still a toddler in terms of food, but it is much less of an issue than it was, and she has put the weight back on.

My survival tips - don't make elaborate meals in the hope of tempting him: you'll just end up more frustrated if he doesn't eat; don't make a big deal out of it, and I wouldn't hover while he's eating either: either sit down and have a biscuit and a cuppa yourself, or do things in the kitchen so that he can investigate in his own way; don't give him too many alternatives, but do try giving him new things from time to time: he might surprise you!; set a reasonable time limit for the meal: he'll get annoyed if he has to sit there for hours when he doesn't want to eat.  Finally, I found that snacks helped to reduce the mealtime battles - I think keeping her blood sugar a bit more stable helped - although I know that some people don't find that useful.

Have you found the Ella's Organic Kitchen pouches of fruit and veg?  They are a major lifesaver, and just about the only way I can get veg into dd1!  If he'll eat them then you can relax a bit about the range of food he is eating.

I also read a study which left toddlers with a room full of all different types of food and let them have a completely free choice of what to eat for a week.  Nearly all of them chose a broadly-speaking balanced diet, which suggests to me that they are better than we think they are at knowing what they need, so try not to get too stressed about that.

[emz1907]

I have found actually lately that if I leave his plate on the table after he refuses it he has a couple of times once the focus has come off he will go back and eat some. Im finding his eating it picking up a little, seems he will show interest in one meal a day and asks for snacks the rest of the time.

[clazzat]

In that case I would try to make sure that his one meal is as healthy as you can make it, and let him have healthy snacks the rest of the time.  I only really go for one "proper" meal a day anyway!

[mum101]

just checking... is he filling up on drinks like milk or juice?

I understand that stress in the kitchen, I get so sick of the refusals. 

I would concentrate on slow and steady wins the race, and add a food each meal for at least a week before giving up.  Make sure it's one you like as well so he sees you enjoying it.

I encourage DS to smell foods that I might have in the kitchen but try not to offer it to him to eat, I will also give him a food I don't think he'll eat when he's really hungry (but not really tired).  So if he misses lunch and goes straight to nap (ie he falls asleep in the car on the way home) I give him lunch after his nap and he's alert and starving.  He's more willing to taste something new.

You can encourage new exciting things, like dips for foods, such as cream cheese or tomato sauce.  Helping to prepare meals in the kitchen.  Also I found that both kids (though more my DD) like to 'steal' food while I'm cooking, or while I'm eating it. So sometimes I'll deliberately start eating a new food and walk into the room ignoring DS. He sometimes takes the bait and demands he eat it!  He's tried a new food before he even realises! Getting them excited about food is hard work, but a big benefit.

DS was unwell and so we went from being OK with food, to hating food, to slowly liking food again. He's taken at least 6 months to enjoy and get excited by new food.

I've found he's funny too about some foods. ie he used to eat dried apricots, then stopped when he was sick. But if I buy the chopped up and packaged ones, he gobbles them up. Same taste, different presentation.

I personally would opt for trying to add formula to meals he does eat, or a multi-vitamin while you feel he's tired and not eating well. But also concentrating on adding more to his menu.  I think as you say he seems tired, it makes us less likely to try new things as well.  Iron might be a problem.

Can you add pureed steak and pureed green veggies to the meatloaf to add to his iron content?

He might like spaghetti bolognaise which is great for adding grated veggies like carrot and zucchini simmered down.

 

[mum101]

PS, is he gaining weight?

With your doctor if you feel your DS is not himself and his appetite has changed a lot, consider getting some basic tests done.  A urine test, and stool samples, and if possible blood test. They can test for iron levels too.

Our DS has been tested for celiac disease due to slow weight gain (the blood test) and also we found he had giardia (the cause of him not eating and losing weight when he was one).  With the giardia, I kept at the doctors, he kept getting sick, was losing weight, had so many tantrums at the high chair and just wasn't the happy baby he was before.

BIG HUGS, I understand that worry and yet it's so hard to get them eating what we want them too   

[emz1907]

Hi,

He has just been to the clinic to get weighed and he is dead on the 50th percentile so they arent worried about him, although he has lost a few pounds in recent months. He's also had a urine test which was ok.

He does like a drink of milk especially first thing when he gets up and later before bed. He does drink water and juice but not excessively so it would fill him up I think. Ive actualy started buying some innocent smoothie pouches for him which he loves, Im aware of the high sugar content from the fruit but as he eats so little fruit/veg Im not overly concerned.

We've actually had a couple of days of good eating and trying some new foods, like yesterday he saw me picking grapes from the fridge and asked for some and ended up eating about 5! BIg new step for him. Tonight I made him pasta with pesto, ham and peas and apart from leaving a few peas he wolfed the lot I was so pleased. Im thinking maybe as he has had a few bugs (as we all have) its taken him off his food a bit too. Im also changing the timing of meals a little as I find his usual 5pm tea time is sometimes a little late for his energy levels and he is simply to tired to care about eating. A 4.15/4.30 is showing better results.

[clazzat]

Glad he's eating a bit more - these things do tend to come and go, but it really sounds like you are doing all the right things.

[mum101]

Glad to hear he's going well.