How long has your toddler gone without eating?

[*Liz*]

Ugh - that is a limited range isn't it (even by my low expectations)? Although I guess we often go weeks at a time on pretty similar - with just yoghurt, cheese and fish fingers added to it.

I 'lost' yoghurt as a food due to medication as well back in the days when we had to dissolve losec into it. It took a while for him to forget as well, I'm afraid. Spirited trait, isn't it?

I would have thought your ILs would be OK on this one really. Older generation tend to be of the 'eat your dinner' group. Obviously that isn't what you are doing - but they should 'get it'.

He will not and cannot starve himself, but he can make himself pretty hungry and miserable in the process. That is partly why I have never solved this with J as he is not motivated by food and more than capable of going hungry if he pleases. So in terms of what to offer and when from the old favourites is really up to you and what your comfort zone is, and how far you want to push it all.

But you have a plan (which is a GOOD plan) and you have started it so I really would at this point be tempted to see it through. Using the rational that if you cave in he will only learn that he can beat you.

Huge ((hugs)) though it sounds very very stressful  

[Mashi]

I am not sure if he would drink a smoothie or not. I could try - will have to go looking for a smoothie maker / blender on the weekend as we've got nothing to make them with at the moment. (Will be a bone of contention for DH as when I was pregnant I begged for one for all of the smoothies that were going to be my staple during the nauseaus months but after him schleping around town to find one and then me spending about 100 quid on fruit, making him help me chop it up and portion it into baggies and take up half of our freezer with it, I used it twice!! LOL!!!)

We had homemade pizzas for dinner last week and got him his own bits of things to choose from and he made his own pizza, watched it cook, was so excited. Ran to his chair and took one look at it, said blech and clamped his mouth shut, and got out of his chair.

Andi I suppose I could try that - not giving him any food and seeing if he wants some of mine. I feel like he will not want any of it and would just rather go hungry but will try it tomorrow and see how it goes.

Out of curiosity, at what point would any of you see the paed over this?

Thank you for the continued support...please don't leave me alone with this one!!!

[rach321]

Well at least he was interested in the pizza thing - might be worth pursuing? How about savory scones or something like that - he could help with the mixing and cutting out.  It might be worth getting him checked over by a doc just to rule out a throat infection or something like that.  My LO will still eat really crunchy stuff with a sore throat but will refuse normal food - spirited kids are very stubborn! Good luck - its rubbish when they won't eat!

[*Liz*]

Crunchy stuff is actually easier to eat with a sore throat/ tonsillitis than anything which goes into solution in your mouth.

When I had my tonsils out I ate nothing but crisps for a week afterwards and everyone thought I was odd - but apparently I wasn't the only one and they now do recommend crunchy starchy stuff over the old classic ice-cream etc. So I wasn't that odd  .

O/T but just thought I'd add it in case it helps anyone else with this odd toddler eating stuff!!

[Mashi]

It might be worth getting him checked over by a doc just to rule out a throat infection or something like that.

He had a throat infection last week but this has been going on for months - so I don't mean seeing the paed to check and make sure there is not something wrong that is preventing him from eating, I am 99% sure the reason he is not eating is because he is stubborn and picky, rather than a physical thing. But rather I mean see the paed as in to discuss any weight loss or how long it can go on, or if I should request vitamin supplements, or give up and feed him toast 3x a day every day if that is what he wants.  Like....how much weight would you let him lose before seeing a doctor to monitor his health that is a result of the not eating, iykwim?

[We Three]

Mash..forgive me if this is a stupid and obvious suggestion that you've already tried...but if he likes toast, can you snazz it up a bit? Like put something like nutella on it? Or give him a "dipping pond" to dip toast soldiers into?  What about french toast? Could you make french toast, then afterwards put it in the toaster so it's just like "regular" toast to him?

[*Liz*]

I dunno Mashi - I suppose I would see someone if he actually lost more than a lb or so - but speaking from experience of seeing a paed with a LO who has a very limited diet, poor weight gain etc. they really don't seem very bothered unless they are tumbling the growth charts.

Have always been reluctant to give vitamin supplements as well TBH. Not sure why.

Last time we saw the paed he was talking about needing those supplement drinks if he continued to fail to gain - but of course he wouldn't drink anything like that anyway   .

Dietician/ feeding team support might be more helpful with the sort of issue it is really.

[Mashi]

Well the paed is off for three weeks over Easter - though her first week coincided with DS's infection last week so I guess that just leaves this week and next, when we are in the UK anyway.  I have to take him up for his MMRV jab and our speech therapy talk anyway so if it goes on then I suppose there is no harm in discussing it.  Maybe it is worth looking through the hospital website to see what therapy they offer for non eaters as well so that I at least know that if there is something comparable to the feeding teams they have in the UK, I can push for it.

And yes, Liz, I hear you on the feeding drinks....like if he won't eat, what makes you think he will eat one of those! LOL!

Anne...yesterday he flat out denied his chocolate toast (Nutella). I was gobsmacked.  Like, I am standing here with a jar of chocolate and you're saying NO?!  Again, I think there may have been DH issues on that one, because when I offered it to him and he took one nibble and ran to play (this was snack not meal), DH then followed him around for ages saying "more toast?... more chocolate toast? ... a little bite! ... just taste it, it's yummy.... look daddy will eat some! and so on. 

I'm thinking my new tactic will be doing this to DH (when DS is not watching).  Any time I offer him something and he says no I am going to chase him around the house with it and beg him to try it. Just a wee bite. Just one more.  Just a little. And so on...and see how he likes it and see how he feels about it!!

[MummyToBen]

I'm thinking my new tactic will be doing this to DH (when DS is not watching).  Any time I offer him something and he says no I am going to chase him around the house with it and beg him to try it. Just a wee bite. Just one more.  Just a little. And so on...and see how he likes it and see how he feels about it!!

Gosh, that would be my DH's idea of heaven - me chasing him around the house, AND offering him food at the same time  !!!

[Shiv52]

Are there things at the minute he will definately eat?  If there is it is worthwhile giving a meal once in a while that is just his fav things.  I do that every few days.  Like pasta and sauce and cheese is one of DD's favs and sometimes I just do it for lunch.  Or yogurts and bread and cream cheese.  Nothing in either of those meals thats a battle.  So maybe every other day make one of his meals a fruit plate and bread, that way you know he's eaten.  He has a successful meal and there is no battle and you get a bit of respite from the drama too.  He's not to know you didn't give a less preferred food as well.  Only works though if there are foods he will definately eat!

I love the idea of taking photos of food or cutting them out and giving him some choice.  I think he'd really like the control that comes with it!  

{{{hugs}}} You are not starving your child.  

[Shiv52]

Posted at same time and there's been loads of posts!  I definately think you have to speak to DH. When I finally put a stop to DH's nonsense eating improved here in about 4 weeks.  Maeve knows when she's being convinced or cajoled to do something and then does the opposite!

[Mashi]

I'm thinking my new tactic will be doing this to DH (when DS is not watching).  Any time I offer him something and he says no I am going to chase him around the house with it and beg him to try it. Just a wee bite. Just one more.  Just a little. And so on...and see how he likes it and see how he feels about it!!

Gosh, that would be my DH's idea of heaven - me chasing him around the house, AND offering him food at the same time  !!!

PMSL Claire, I've never thought of it that way!!!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I'm thinking my new tactic will be doing this to DH (when DS is not watching).  Any time I offer him something and he says no I am going to chase him around the house with it and beg him to try it. Just a wee bite. Just one more.  Just a little. And so on...and see how he likes it and see how he feels about it!!

Gosh, that would be my DH's idea of heaven - me chasing him around the house, AND offering him food at the same time  !!!

PMSL Claire, I've never thought of it that way!!!

   My DH would be in heaven too! 


Another dumb question...do you sit with him & watch him eat? I find that if I turn my back and do the dishes (or pretend to be doing something!) that Spencer will eat things, whereas if DH is staring her down at the table she will goof off. 

[mumofalice]

Wow - there's been a lot to catch up on  

Hugs to you Mashi - it is stressful and you can tell from all these posts that we've all been there even if only for a day or two. What makes me   is that for the majority of the posts the DH's seem to have been involved in the 'negative' side of things. I wonder why they seem to want to cajole their LOs into eating. My DH was at it again tonight with Alice - even loaded up some pasta on her fork for her which she wasn't happy about. She pulled off the pasta and fed it to herself by hand - but never used her fork again for the rest of the meal (even tho it was only a couple of bites). We had meatball pasta bake - she didn't eat a huge amount but I was happy with what she ate, except she hadn't eaten any of the meatballs. So when she signed finished I asked her to at least try a piece of meatball (they were chopped up) - and she popped one right in and signed finished again. I was more than happy with that. She has been at the CM today and eats more than her fair share of food there so dinner times always tend to be smaller on those days.

Also, one thing I try to remember - I watched one of those programs a while back (Too Fat To Toddle or something like it) which was looking at why so many kids are obese these days - one of the problems is that we give too big a portion of food to our children - apparently the size of your stomach is relevant to the size of your fist - am sure the portion of pasta that I put in front of Alice today will have been bigger than her little chubby fist, so if she eats some of it plus a yoghurt, etc then she's going to have a full tummy . . .

PMSL at you chasing your DH round with food - tho, yes mine would love it too  

Going back to your earlier question about the toast - I too am with the majority in that I wouldn't give more of the toast (or whatever it is off the plate he wants more of) unless he's eaten, or at least tried, the other bits and pieces on his plate. Otherwise the whole object of giving a balanced meal is defeated (I know it is too if he refuses them) - but I do think he's clever enough to know that he could do it every meal time if he does it just the once - these toddlers are way too clever for their own good!!

[squeakersmum]

I am very lucky with DS at the moment in that he's not bad with his eating and even if we're having a bad eating week I can get lots of veg into him with a casserole chopped up small.

But - even Ben will eat better when he's around other people or children and if he is more or less left to get on with it.  In fact that's a tactic I use at home.  If he's being funny about eating a dinner then I leave the room for a couple of minutes and usually when I come back he has at least had a go at it.  So I totally agree about the power struggle/control thing.

Just wondering in that vein - how is minimashi in a cafe or restaurant setting?  Would he at least try something if distracted by the comings and goings of the other people around?  I think earlier in the thread someone mentioned about having another LO around to eat - but maybe a trip into town and lunch in a cafe and you could see if the major distraction works for him.

Just another idea to add to the pot.