Author Topic: The monitor stopped working. Now all he does is scream, and I'm so upset  (Read 1002 times)

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Offline DawnE

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I woke up a couple of mornings ago, and thought how great a night we had had (no, my 16 mo LO still does not STTN, made worse by the fact he is teething and in a reflux flare). Then I realized that the monitor had stopped working sometime after midnight. Not the battery had died or anything, just stopped working. If you squeeze and hit it just right it will come back on for awhile. Anyways, I went in my LOs room to find that he must have woken up at some point, but I don't know how often or for how long. He had knocked a bunch of things over, and was laying in his crib whimpering. I'm so upset, I can't even describe.  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( I have been so very careful to not let him CIO, to the extent that I have been APing him to sleep, and then this happened. Since then, every time I put him in his crib, he just screams, then starts to reflux from the screaming. Even if I just put him in to go wash my hands while getting him ready for bed.  To make matters worse, the night after it happened, he woke up screaming. After I had been in there for an hour, I had to use the washroom really badly, so I put him down, and told him I would be back. He screamed for a couple of minutes, then as I washed my hands he stopped and started to whimper, then rolled around for a minute and fell asleep. I didn't go back in because he had stopped crying.
I have been rocking him to sleep ever since this happened (was APing to sleep before, but had started the process of working towards weaning it until this). Every time he wakes up he screams and knocks things over until I come. When I go in, I try to lay him back down like usual, but he just clings to me. I have to rock him completely to sleep now, then carefully put him in his crib. If I try to put him down and he is not fully asleep, or he wakes up as I put him down, he will start to scream and cling to me again, then I have to start all over. I have no clue where to start. How do I work on the negative association with the crib, and start to work on weaning the AP? Can I even start trying anything while he is teething and in pain?

Offline marensmama

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Oh my gosh, that's so sad.  A similar thing happened to us a month or so ago during my LOs nap time, it broke my heart to think that she'd been screaming for awhile (I don't know for how long, we were out in the yard and I went in the house when I thought she'd be waking up)... Hugs, it's a hard one.  I think I'd treat it like SA and do the GW method to get yourself out of the picture.  :-\

Sorry I don't have much useful advice, but I couldn't read and not post, I know exactly how you feel!  Don't be too hard on yourself, it's not like you could have known the monitor was going to give out!  We're on our 4th one now, they're all garbage! 
Nicole - Mom to My Lovely Girls


Offline First Time Mom

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(((hugs))), don't feel bad about the monitor, it's not your fault and I'm sure if/when he woke it probably wasn't for very long. My guess is that if he saw you not by his side his fussing was short lived and he fell asleep quickly. Just look what happened when you left to wash your hands- it sounds like he would have been up longer had you of been in the room. Please don't blame yourself and don't be upset, this was out of your control, you didn't let him CIO, letting him CIO is making a decision to let him cry and not go, you did NOT make this decision, you had ZERO control as you did not and could not know the monitor wasn't working.

First, I don't think I'd do anything until this round of teething is done. You've AP'd until now, a little longer will not hurt, at least until he is not bothered by current teething so that he can also focus better. He will feel like he needs you more now if he has pain from the teeth. Also, is he on meds for his reflux? Does he need to be? I would want to get this under control too, before you start sleep training.

When you do start, I think I would first want to try to get him to love his bed so he doesn't fight it as soon as he's put in. Maybe put him in there with some toys while you're in his room dusting or putting away laundry, just a few minutes at a time. Maybe somehow try to make it fun even. Try reading some books to him in there too. Anything to get him comfortable with the crib again. Maybe even buying him a new "special sleep friend". When my dd was young we got her an angel doll that we hung from the corner ceiling and it was her "sleep fairy".

To stop the rocking, I think I would start with a combo of PU/PD and gradual removal. So, if/when he starts to freak, pick him up, stroke his back until he stops fussing, put him down. He might be heavy or big for the constant PU/PD that might be needed but since you've been rocking and he's had that close contact then he might need you picking him up, stroking his back to say "it's ok". Then tell him "mama's going to be right here" and sit in a chair beside his bed. Then, nightly, gradually move the chair until you're outside the door. I had to do this with my dd when she had hit SA, it didn't take long, my office is just outside her room so I remember even sitting at my desk working and having to leave her door open and she'd call out and I'd say "yes honey, I'm right here".

So that's what I'd do, hopefully you will get some more ideas and help from the lovely ladies here. I just couldn't read your post and not reply because I really felt bad for you that you felt bad for something out of your hands that you had no control over. Again, (((hugs))).
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Offline DawnE

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Thanks so much. I have been feeling so guilty, thinking that I was sleeping while he was screaming for me.  :( I feel a bit better now.

I will start with the crib association tomorrow, and see if I can find another sleep friend. He is usually a long painful teether, so hopefully it isn't that way this time, and I can start working on the rocking soon as well.


Offline *Jo*

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hugs hun! i have been there, one night whilst going to deal with Caleb, DH had turned the monitor off in our room so he could go back to sleep, he doesnt usually do this and fell asleep before telling me he had done it, so i went back to bed with no monitor on and didnt know, wasnt until the next morning and i could hear him screaming that i realised it wasnt coming from the monitor. we cant hear anything in our house and Caleb is at the other end of the house so we couldnt hear him normally, let alone in our sleep! i was distraught! it didnt have any real long lasting consequences (he was alot younger however) but i do remember that feeling well, its just awful!

He will get over whatever happened eventually and it will all be just a distant memory :)





Offline londonmama

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Similar thing here happened a few months ago.  I sleep with earplugs when my DH is home (snores).  He was away one night and, without thinking, I put my earplugs in.  My parents were staying over that night and I eventually woke up and heard him sobbing (heartbreaking, he wasn't even screaming at this point, had moved on to sobbing) and my Mom said he had been going for half and hour but that she assumed I was in there with him trying to get him back to sleep, so didn't come in!  Oh the guilt!

I did exactly what First Time Mom describes.  A slow gradual withdrawal process to get him back to being okay in the crib, and build the trust.

It will pass and you'll both forget about it, but as we all know from experience your heart just breaks for them at the time!