help? whats going on????

[anna*]

It sounds like he is doing great! It's totally normal and natural for them to wake somewhere between 5 and 5.30am - we just need for them to learn to put themselves back to sleep, which he did! Well done!!

[kels]

thanks anna,dont no what he started waking so early really, nothing changed for him to not no how to get back to sleep?

[anna*]

He put himself back to sleep this morning though right? Who knows what happened, could be a touch of overtiredness, or a developmental milestone, teething... all sorts of things can rock the boat.

[kels]

well i put him down today and he woke twice crying and sitting up settles when i go in, cries when i leave!

[anna*]

You can do Walk In Walk Out with him?

[kels]

that seems to calm him till i walk out

[anna*]

That's the way it works. You walk in, then immediately walk out again, listen to how he is crying - if it is stop/start, or if he is mantra crying, whining or fussing, you leave him. If he is genuinely crying, you go in again, lie him down, then leave again. Repeat for as long as it takes for him to settle.

[kels]

ok, i just feel as if i am teasing him?

[anna*]

If he calms down the moment he sees you, you could instead just sit in his doorway with your back to him, so he can see you but no eye contact or interaction. WIWO does work really well though. When you go in, you only stay long enough to lie him back down, then go out again.

[kels]

i think he generally doesnt settle unless i lay him down till he almost asleep or i get him out, if i stay by door he will create i think we did something like this in past,gradual retreat or something

[anna*]

Well yeh, there is a lot of crying with WIWO, but it works in the end. The idea is that they learn 'mummy will always come if you are crying, but you have to settle yourself, by yourself.'

[kels]

ok so its like controlled crying in the sense you nad go in and leave?

[anna*]

With controlled crying, I believe they recommend you keep on extending the time that you are out of the room. So you let them cry for a minute, then 2 mins, then 5, then 10 then 20 etc. Some people recommend that when you go to check on them, you don't let them see you.

With WIWO, you listen to your little one's cries, and decide if he is saying 'I need you' (or if he is trying to settle himself, or if he is just shouting). If he needs you, you don't wait, you go straight back in, and keep going back in as often and as many times as he needs you. That's a big difference from CC.

[kels]

mmmmm, its similiar in the sense that you show them you come back i guess just without leaving them any time so they dont get to distressed?

[anna*]

My LO used to cry really hard with WIWO - but I knew he was just frustrated, not in pain or scared or feeling like I had forgotten or abandoned him. He would cry really hard and then very quickly and suddenly go quiet and settle himself to sleep.