Wind down tips for 17.5month old

[scucci1979]

update: Hubby said she was tired this morning so he put her down at 12:05pm and she woke up at 2:25pm. I tried a 7:30pm bedtime and she refused to be put in her crib.    She would cling to me for dear life. She would rather play. To me that tells me she is not tired.  Could it be that her room is too dark or she doesn't want her crib anymore?  Is this her way of telling me she is UT? 
I told hubby to aim for a 5ht and 15min A tomorrow morning and limit her nap to 2hrs and 20min.

This bedtime resistance has begun since Sunday and I can't figure out why.

[~*Nicole*~]

Are you daring enough to try just a 2 hour nap?

[scucci1979]

I haven't thought of a two hour nap as she has always been on the higher end of sleep.  But my gut tells me that would help with the bedtime resistance.

[~*Nicole*~]

I'm just wondering if she'd settle for bed easier and then sleep a somewhat longer night overall. IF she ends up with a similar amount of sleep in a 24 hour period, it may just be that she needs to shift that last portion over from day to night, b/c getting it in the day makes her not tired enough to settle at night.

BUT DD has always been pretty average in sleep needs so I don't want to push you to something that might not work for a higher sleep needs LO. I just recall hearing a lot of mom's say they had to start capping the nap around 2 hours or else they'd get a late bedtime (which we know does not necessarily mean a later wakeup....so shortens the overall night) or bedtime resistance which turned into a late bedtime anyway.

I usually err on the side of caution and rule out OT first by doing everything a bit earlier and if that doesn't work...then I try the UT solutions....longer A OR cut nap to preserve bedtime!

[*Liz*]

I think Nicole is probably right now - how long has Madi been on 1 nap for?

J used to do beautiful 2-3 hr naps as well but we had to cut them down to 1.5-2hrs max to stop nightttime silliness.

[scucci1979]

How early should I try bedtime?  Last night, I tried at 7:20pm(her old bedtime) and she wanted nothing to do with it. This was with a 2hr and 20min nap.  She refused to be placed in the crib. She would rather look at books and run in and out of her room.  To me that tells me she is not that tired. Of course, this UT leads her to get silly, which then leads to a little OT. 
Last night she fell asleep at 7:45pm and woke up at 6:40am. Her A was 5hrs and 20min.

She has been on one nap for four months months now, so maybe it is time to cut her nap further to preserve bedtime. I have noticed that with the later bedtime or bedtime resistance, her nights are not prolonged.

If I push her first A to around 5.5hours and let her sleep no more then 2hrs and 20min, do you think that should make her tired for bed?
I also found that if we are outdoors more, she is more tired.

18 months hits and bedtime becomes silly.

[*Liz*]

You could try pushing the first A to lessen the second, but I still think that at some point you will need to limit to 2hrs max, or accept a 10.5hr night.

I hit a point where I couldn't have both as he just wouldn't sleep that much in 24hrs as if the nap is over 2hrs he will stay up for 5-5.5hrs regardless after.

A lot of people report a drop in sleep needs at 18 mths where they seem to drop about 30 mins off their 24 hrs total.

The earliest bedtime I ever use is 4.5hrs after a nap - and that is when I am sure he is OT and needs it. I actually did a 7.5hr am A a few weeks ago (family meal at lunchtime) and he slept for 1.5hrs and STILL insisted on staying awake for 4.5hrs after that  .

[scucci1979]

Makes sense! So I should leave her first A and gradually reduce her nap?

[*Liz*]

You could from where you are at the moment. I was never able to do that with J as he started to wake after 1-1.5hrs of the nap and scream at me - so I had to push it back first  .

If she is napping well and easily I would try slowly reducing the nap back to 2ish hrs and see where that gets you.

I have J on a 1.5ish hr nap now but I still sometimes let him go longer if he is tired so you still have that option every few days if she needs it.

[scucci1979]

Thanks Liz.

She looked tired for bed tonight but wanted nothing to do with her crib. I put her in at 7:30pm, she rolled over, stood up and reached her arms out for me.  I took her out for 5min and then tried again. She did the same thing, so I said it was time for sleep and walked out of her room. She fussed for 5min and then went to sleep. It has been 5 days of bedtime refusal.  What confuses me the most is that she never refused bedtime. 

Today looked like:
wake 6:45
nap 12:05-2:25pm
attempted bed at 7:30pm
finally asleep by 7:45pm

Should I try limiting her nap to two hours and 15min and see if that helps?

I think what bothers me the most is that lately I don't have any patience as I am utterly exhausted from being pregnant.

[*Liz*]

Yes try it.

The other thing I'd do is be consistent at bedtime - so you put her in and she screams but you reassure and keep going with the it's bedtime thing. She could just be testing boundaries.

The other thing J did at this age was insist on saying goodnight to Daddy as well (before I always did it) - so do look for cues of something simple that might help like an extra toy in the cot it whatever.

[scucci1979]

I will try that tonight and let you know. I think she is testing me!  I was thinking about putting an extra toy in her cot but didn't know what. 
Today she woke up at 6:35am laughing and giggling. 

[~*Nicole*~]

We've gone through "Testing" spurts as well. Once, Ava HAD to ask for more blankets before she would settle. Another time it was MORE stories. Another time it was needing water. Lots of "stalling" tactics.

Telling Ava that everyone else is going to sleep has worked wonders for awhile. You can hear her on the monitor after you leave "Mommy's sleepin'...Daddy's sleepin'.....Everybody's sleepin'....." LOL

[katie80]

Yes, lots of testing and stalling here too.  If you don't have success with tweaking the nap, I'd just try to be really consistent and pretty firm with bedtime.  I think at this age, they're really trying to find out what happens when they 'speak their mind'.  They're like little scientists looking to see what reaction they get for certain actions they do and if it's the same each time.  Finding a little trick does help as well; my DD gives her dolls and a couple animals hugs and kisses before bed and puts them into her chair to sleep. 

[scucci1979]

let me guess...This testing is just the beginning! She just started to test me with this mornings naps.  Hubby has been doing the naps lately and today I did it. Apparently, she goes down quite easily for him.  

Tonight went a little bit easier then expected. We went upstairs around 7:15pm, where she rolled around in our bed. At 7:25pm, I took her to her room to read a book but she didn't want to. Instead, she took her shoes out of her closet and played with her monitor.    She then ran away from me screaming and laughing. I picked her up, she arched her back, hit me once and told her hitting is not nice.  I brought her to her room, placed her in her cot with her 3 loveys and handed her sippy cup.  I never leave her sippy cup in there so she looked at it and took a sip.  I said goodnight and left the room. She fussed for only a few minutes.

Here is today's routine
wake 6:35am-She dozed off for 10min.
wake 6:45am
nap 12:15-2:35pm
bed 7:35pm asleep by 7:40pm

Lets see what wake up we get tomorrow!!!

As for crib toys, is it a good idea to place some in her cot?