Food / spoon refusal at 11m; being syringed food - need finger food ideas quick

[A pair of Charlies]

Hi

Someone I know has been having a really rough time with the transition to solids. Really really rough time. And because she felt he wasn't eating well (months back) she started force feeding him with a syringe 

Bumped into her a few days ago and it's still going on. Health Visitor's have told her to stop but her reasoning is that he won't eat so she has to force him. He looks a healthy weight and is a happy little boy, bit of an angel really considering. But he doesn't like the force-feeding by syringe (who would!) and I desparately need ideas from experienced finger food Mamas that work for fussy eaters - that would work here.

I don't really know what he does eat by choice - I've seen him eat little corn puff snacks - but for the most part, when I see him he has food repeatedly stuck in his mouth, he spits it out, it goes back in and so on. EASY just doesn't happen. I think food is being shoved at him most of the day - I have tried. If I can find something he will eat by choice, maybe EASY will happen.

The Mama isn't in familiar territory. She's a new Mum. Husband works away for a month at a time. Her family and friends are half way around the world from her. She knows some Mamas here, but not many and doesn't go out on playdates / playgroups regularly so she really is quite isolated. Despite living in a city! Erm. And English isn't her first language. She doesn't really know how to cook. So any of my suggestions I've had to detail. She's from the middle east.

Please. Any help really appreciated. I've checked the finger foods FAQ and will pass to her, but right now she (and I) need exact ideas. As you can imagine, I don't think this babe is going to be keen to try foods at all. Food is a bit of a screaming battle he has no control over and loses every single time - we need ways to get him to want to eat.

Thanks in advance 

C x

[koe2moe]

oh my goodness... it must be really stressful for mama and child.  hugssss to her and bless you for caring. 

since there are not much exact details... what comes to mind is sweet tasty food that kids usually would like, such as, fruit (banana, apples, etc), crackers, rice cakes, toasts, cold cuts.   are you able to convince her to let him play a bit with food?  like smearing, licking fingers, etc?  i'm just trying to think what would be tasty enough to get him to eat more even when it accidently touches his lips to end up in his mouth??  But then it's not like he never had tasted food, it was always in his mouth... oh my...   perhaps check what she's been feeding??  he might associate the battle with those tastes also?? 

good luck...  keep us updated  hugsss

[clazzat]

Finger Foods for Babies and Toddlers by Jennie Maizels has some really good recipes, and they're very easy to follow.

I like the cheese scones and mini pizzas out of it, and mini quiches were very popular for a long time here (and then suddenly weren't!).

Has she tried dips?  Something like guacamole is really easy, and she could try giving her lo veggies or breadsticks and let him try it out for himself.

[*Liz*]

Oh my goodness Charlotte - that is just so very very sad.

I'm sure you have tried everything but as a Mama of a very picky and independent eater I *still* have no idea what to suggest. Mainly as I would never ever do that iyswim?

The thing with finger feeding is that they HAVE to be left to do it alone. They have too. And it this Mummy won't do that then I just can't think what to say.

What does J eat? Very little really (and was the same at that age).

Our 'easy' foods at that age were toast fingers, toasted teacakes, cheese spread sandwiches, grated cheese, yoghurts that he would spoon feed himself (in a fashion  ), fish fingers cut into bits, peas. Fruits and the like were successful later on but he took ages to get used to the slimy texture and stop flinging it or squishing it. Chunks of banana were the first I think, and blueberries. Dry cheerios, and shreddies dipped in milk were his cereals. Scrambled egg picked up. 'Dip dip eat' with toast fingers and boiled eggs.

Meat was rubbish at this age as he didn't have enough teeth to manage - but little bits of ham, roast chicken, and sausages were the first things he did accept and cope with.

Anyway - they are essentially all 'no cooking' options. And it is not a list I am very proud of TBH - but it is better than waht she is doing ATM.

J has been under the feeding team for refusal to feed and I will happily tell you all their advice as well - but it really is mainly food play etc etc - and leaving them to it. No food battles etc.

((hugs)) to you and that poor LO.

[anna*]

(((hugs))) and blessings to your Charlotte for your patience and fortitude.

[anna*]

I think an element of this is that she HAS to trust her baby! He wILL NOT starve himself. He WILL eat, if she gives him space. She WILL create greater and more entrenched problems if she does not. Little sticks of banana, bread sticks, cucumber sticks, raisins, blueberries - all might show her that he can and will eat if given the chance.

[A pair of Charlies]

Thanks Ladies!!  

Ideas I hadn't thought of as DS has mainly been a spoon eater until last few months (porridge, mashed weetabix etc).

She says he eats things off the floor but won't eat if in a highchair (I think we know why). I think laying out a bit of a banquet on a small table might be the way (big splash mat underneath that she can keep clean). He's a coaster  . So, a few bowls of little bite bits of a few different tastes and textures each meal, perhaps. Milk soaked cheerios, jammy toast fingers ( ), banana slices for breakfast. Lunch - Soreen (fruit malt loaf), bits of soft veggies / fruit like pear (?), little hunks of cheese & tofu. Supper - rice cakes, bits of cold cuts or chopped up fish fingers etc, grated cheese, etc.

Thank God I asked you guys! All I could come up with for breakfasts etc was porridge cooled and rolled into balls or toast and mixed fruit purees cooled and lumped! ha ha!!

     

[koe2moe]

pears and bananas are great i think but then they are slippery and hard to grap sometimes.  Has he got teeth?  perhaps also try different size pieces.  oh and cheese slices or sticks are also great.  perhaps first avoid "whole" fruit, such as, grapes, blueberries coz he might just swallow them as he hasn't tried them before.  cooked broccoli (i call them little trees hehe) and cauliflower are also great.  i'm not sure at this age if we have to worry about not introducing too many new things in a day haha but then afterall... varieties can be fun   good luck!! 

[*Liz*]

Picnics are a great idea to change the scene- as are little pots of foods while sat doing something else. Letting them sit on your knee and eat off your plate as well (often my plate with his food on it!).

[clazzat]

One other thing is that he doesn't have to have breakfast foods for breakfast - if he is more receptive early in the day, for example, it might be a really good time to try to get some "proper" food into him.  So there are lots of options if you stop thinking that each meal has to be a certain range of foods.

[Mashi]

Oh Charlotte that poor mom. I know how hard it is being isolated and then worse being isolated without language skills...and losing confidence in yourself and your parenting abilities that comes from that, and then it spirals into a vicious cycle.  And when in that, you do things that are just silly....like syringe feeding your 11 month old all day. Because your head is up your arse and you just get worked into yourself, you know?  So am very glad (though insanely jealous) that she has a friend like you!

11 months.....we did dry cheerios, not milk soaked, as they were to slippery and hard to pick up.  Crumpets with butter go nice and easy to eat.  Bits of cut up sandwich ham.  Scrambled egg yolks go into little balls that are easy to pick up and DS loved them at that age.  Soft pear was a hit, and clementine oranges (I bought tinned quite often).   Organix stuff is great - puffed corn covered in carrot or corn powder, they do tomato ones too I think. The carrot ones are for 8+ months and so are the corn rings. Others are meant for 12 months as there is a tiny bit of salt in them.   They are great shapes for holding on to and good for texture and biting but they also dissolve in the mouth easily - at that age DS knew where they were hidden and used to try to get at them all day, he loved them so much!

Does she have one of those mesh feeders? That might be a good thing to try also.