Utterly exhausted and don't know what to do. PLEASE HELP!

[ericapt]

I posted at the beginning of the week regarding my 29-month old climbing out of his crib.  It went on for 4 nights and the last 2 nights we were able to get him to stay in his crib and go to sleep by sitting outside of his room and telling him to lie down whenever he started to get out.  We thought we were making progress.  Then 2 nights ago he slept through the night and didn't attempt to get out once!  Really, I think he was just so exhausted from the previous 3 nights that he finally crashed.  This brings me to the current issue.  Last night we had him in bed at his usual time and things seemed to be going fine.  Then about an 1 1/2 hours after putting him to bed he started climbing out (we have a video monitor).  This continued with us putting him back in repeatedly until about 10 pm when we decided that we had to make his crib into the toddler bed since he was becoming so hysterical and  looked like he could fall and hurt himself.  So, my husband changed the crib to a toddler bed and FINALLY at 1 am I put him in the bed and he fell asleep.  I AM 99% SURE THAT THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE OF EXTREME FATIGUE AND NOT BECAUSE HE LOVED THE NEW BED!!!!  AFTER GOING TO SLEEP AT 1 AM HE WOKE UP AT 6:15 SCREAMING TO COME OUT OF HIS ROOM!!!  We had put a childproof handle on the inside of his door so that if he got up he couldn't come out and go down the stairs. 
MY QUESTION:  WHAT DO I DO TO GET HIM TO SLEEP?   Do I lock him in the room and eventually he will fall asleep?  Do I watch the monitor and repeatedly go lie him down whenever he gets out?  This is the most frustrated and defeated I have felt with parenting in a long time!  I am exhausted and feel totally overwhelmed by this sudden change.  I DO NOT ADJUST TO CHANGE WELL!  I guess my son takes after me.  Plus, I am 7 months pregnant and starting to worry about the sleep deprivation and all of the other issues that come with having a newborn and it's really stressing me out!  How will I handle this?  How will my son handle this?  So, to summarize, I need advice on how to get my LO to sleep in a toddler bed for night and naps?  Am I just expecting too much or is this a normal process to go through during this change?  I NEED HELP?  PLEASE, anyone with experience in this area, your advice is greatly needed and appreciated.

Thank you in advance.  Anxiously awaiting feedback.
Erica


(P.S.  I've included a copy of my original post if it is needed.:
Sorry to sound so desperate, but I am in need of help as soon as possible!  I'll try to make this brief, but give as much detail as I can quickly.  My son is almost 29 months old and our big issue started 3 nights ago.  This past saturday night he climbed/fell out of his crib (not sure exactly how it happened, but he was screaming and yelling for me and then I heard a thud noise and when I went in he was squating on the floor.)  One reason this is so odd is because until that point he has always LOVED his crib!  I mean, he will lie in bed for 2 hours sometimes just talking and entertaining himself and many times even after he wakes up he doesn't want me to get him out of the crib.  That night wasn't any different.  I had him in bed at 7:30 and then about 15 minutes later he started screaming and crying for me and then climbed out.  Usually he doesn't fall asleep until around 8:30, but will lie in bed quietly and doesn't get upset.  We have a video monitor, so I can watch him.  (monitor wasn't on yet the night he got out because I was in the shower)  After the climb out I held him a few minutes, put him in bed and he fell asleep and slept through the night.  The next day he took a normal nap and there were no issues, but when I went to put him to bed that night he was in there 5 minutes and then started screaming and crying again and I saw him trying to climb out of bed on the video monitor.  I tried lying him down, but he just was so upset (not typical) and wouldn't let go of me.  Eventually DH caved and layed on the floor next to his crib for about 40 minutes (I know, horrible).  He didn't fall asleep, but when DH left I guess he was calmed down and tired enough that he didn't get back up and fell asleep around 10 pm!  He slept through the night, but then woke at about 5:45 (usual wake up varies lately between 6 and 7 am) screaming and crying and trying to climb out again.  Like I said, usually when he wakes he just lies there happily and waits for me to come get him.  So, ANY thoughts on why he would have this EXTREMELY sudden change and how should I be handling it?  I realize that LOs go through phases, but it came on so fast that I just haven't had time to process and come up with a solution.  I tried WI/WO, but he was popping up so quick and starting to climb out that I wasn't really getting out of the room and he was just becoming more hysterical!  Plus it's really hard to lean over the side of the crib because I'm 7 months pregnant.  Should I be doing some form of WI/WO or staying with him until he's calm?  Should I switch to his toddler bed since he's trying to climb out?  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT COULD HAVE CAUSED THIS PROBLEM OR HOW TO FIX IT!!!! I'm going to post our routine just in case you need to see it.

6-7 am    Wake up (varies)
8             Breakfast
10           Snack
11:45      Lunch
12:30      In bed for nap, but doesn't fall asleep for about 30-45 minutes.  I am only letting him sleep about 2 hours now, otherwise it really affects night time (before present problem)
3:30        Snack if he wants it
5:30        Dinner
7 pm        Bedtime routine and in bed about 7:30.  Usually falls asleep at 8:30 and sleeps until 6 or 7 am
** Just a note, I had posted several weeks ago because he was refusing naps several days a week, but per everyone's advice started putting him down early and corrected this napping issue.  Naps were going well again for the past 3 weeks and now this horrible night issue has arisen.

Also, I was at work today and he was at my mom's house.  She said he napped well with no problems (probably because he was exhausted from lack of sleep last night).
What should I be doing?  Anyone ever had this type of change suddenly?  My husband is in his room with him as I type this and he tends to be a softy when it comes to this, but this time I have to agree.  This is not like our LO and he seems genuinely upset/scared for some reason.  ANY ANY ANY advice ASAP is GREATLY needed and appreciated!)

Thank you so much in advance!
Erica

[anna*]

My son was exactly the same after transferring to a big boy bed. I preferred to put a baby gate up at his door. I didn't return him to his bed, I just left him standing there. He likes to sleep with his door open a bit, so the deal is, the door can stay open if he stays quiet. If he is yelling and carrying on, I shut the door.

The other thing you can do with the gate is sit by it with your back to the gate and just be there. Don't talk or interact. He sounds SO overtired, I would try a couple of early bedtimes.

What do you think?

I posted at the beginning of the week regarding my 29-month old climbing out of his crib.  It went on for 4 nights and the last 2 nights we were able to get him to stay in his crib and go to sleep by sitting outside of his room and telling him to lie down whenever he started to get out.  We thought we were making progress.  Then 2 nights ago he slept through the night and didn't attempt to get out once!  Really, I think he was just so exhausted from the previous 3 nights that he finally crashed.  This brings me to the current issue.  Last night we had him in bed at his usual time and things seemed to be going fine.  Then about an 1 1/2 hours after putting him to bed he started climbing out (we have a video monitor).  This continued with us putting him back in repeatedly until about 10 pm when we decided that we had to make his crib into the toddler bed since he was becoming so hysterical and  looked like he could fall and hurt himself.  So, my husband changed the crib to a toddler bed and FINALLY at 1 am I put him in the bed and he fell asleep.  I AM 99% SURE THAT THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE OF EXTREME FATIGUE AND NOT BECAUSE HE LOVED THE NEW BED!!!!  AFTER GOING TO SLEEP AT 1 AM HE WOKE UP AT 6:15 SCREAMING TO COME OUT OF HIS ROOM!!!  We had put a childproof handle on the inside of his door so that if he got up he couldn't come out and go down the stairs. 
MY QUESTION:  WHAT DO I DO TO GET HIM TO SLEEP?   Do I lock him in the room and eventually he will fall asleep?  Do I watch the monitor and repeatedly go lie him down whenever he gets out?  This is the most frustrated and defeated I have felt with parenting in a long time!  I am exhausted and feel totally overwhelmed by this sudden change.  I DO NOT ADJUST TO CHANGE WELL!  I guess my son takes after me.  Plus, I am 7 months pregnant and starting to worry about the sleep deprivation and all of the other issues that come with having a newborn and it's really stressing me out!  How will I handle this?  How will my son handle this?  So, to summarize, I need advice on how to get my LO to sleep in a toddler bed for night and naps?  Am I just expecting too much or is this a normal process to go through during this change?  I NEED HELP?  PLEASE, anyone with experience in this area, your advice is greatly needed and appreciated.

Thank you in advance.  Anxiously awaiting feedback.
Erica


(P.S.  I've included a copy of my original post if it is needed.:
Sorry to sound so desperate, but I am in need of help as soon as possible!  I'll try to make this brief, but give as much detail as I can quickly.  My son is almost 29 months old and our big issue started 3 nights ago.  This past saturday night he climbed/fell out of his crib (not sure exactly how it happened, but he was screaming and yelling for me and then I heard a thud noise and when I went in he was squating on the floor.)  One reason this is so odd is because until that point he has always LOVED his crib!  I mean, he will lie in bed for 2 hours sometimes just talking and entertaining himself and many times even after he wakes up he doesn't want me to get him out of the crib.  That night wasn't any different.  I had him in bed at 7:30 and then about 15 minutes later he started screaming and crying for me and then climbed out.  Usually he doesn't fall asleep until around 8:30, but will lie in bed quietly and doesn't get upset.  We have a video monitor, so I can watch him.  (monitor wasn't on yet the night he got out because I was in the shower)  After the climb out I held him a few minutes, put him in bed and he fell asleep and slept through the night.  The next day he took a normal nap and there were no issues, but when I went to put him to bed that night he was in there 5 minutes and then started screaming and crying again and I saw him trying to climb out of bed on the video monitor.  I tried lying him down, but he just was so upset (not typical) and wouldn't let go of me.  Eventually DH caved and layed on the floor next to his crib for about 40 minutes (I know, horrible).  He didn't fall asleep, but when DH left I guess he was calmed down and tired enough that he didn't get back up and fell asleep around 10 pm!  He slept through the night, but then woke at about 5:45 (usual wake up varies lately between 6 and 7 am) screaming and crying and trying to climb out again.  Like I said, usually when he wakes he just lies there happily and waits for me to come get him.  So, ANY thoughts on why he would have this EXTREMELY sudden change and how should I be handling it?  I realize that LOs go through phases, but it came on so fast that I just haven't had time to process and come up with a solution.  I tried WI/WO, but he was popping up so quick and starting to climb out that I wasn't really getting out of the room and he was just becoming more hysterical!  Plus it's really hard to lean over the side of the crib because I'm 7 months pregnant.  Should I be doing some form of WI/WO or staying with him until he's calm?  Should I switch to his toddler bed since he's trying to climb out?  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT COULD HAVE CAUSED THIS PROBLEM OR HOW TO FIX IT!!!! I'm going to post our routine just in case you need to see it.

6-7 am    Wake up (varies)
8             Breakfast
10           Snack
11:45      Lunch
12:30      In bed for nap, but doesn't fall asleep for about 30-45 minutes.  I am only letting him sleep about 2 hours now, otherwise it really affects night time (before present problem)
3:30        Snack if he wants it
5:30        Dinner
7 pm        Bedtime routine and in bed about 7:30.  Usually falls asleep at 8:30 and sleeps until 6 or 7 am
** Just a note, I had posted several weeks ago because he was refusing naps several days a week, but per everyone's advice started putting him down early and corrected this napping issue.  Naps were going well again for the past 3 weeks and now this horrible night issue has arisen.

Also, I was at work today and he was at my mom's house.  She said he napped well with no problems (probably because he was exhausted from lack of sleep last night).
What should I be doing?  Anyone ever had this type of change suddenly?  My husband is in his room with him as I type this and he tends to be a softy when it comes to this, but this time I have to agree.  This is not like our LO and he seems genuinely upset/scared for some reason.  ANY ANY ANY advice ASAP is GREATLY needed and appreciated!)

Thank you so much in advance!
Erica

[ericapt]

Anna-
Thanks for replying quickly.  We did try the gate at the door and he started climbing over that.  I really want to keep him in the room safely.  He is used to sleeping in a very dark room and I have to have quiet music/white noise otherwise he will wake up.  I don't know that he can completely understand "if you're quiet you can keep the door open".  I doubt he would sleep.  I can not understand how a 2 year old can stay awake until 1 am and then only sleep 5 hours!  EXHAUSTING!!!!  I'll try early bedtime, but even when I put him in bed every night at 7:30, it takes him until at least 8:30 to fall asleep.  Sorry to sound so down, but I'm exhausted and very frustrated.

Erica

[anna*]

I think 7.30pm bedtime is still too late. If it's taking him an hour to fall alseep, bedtime has to be 6.30 latest. He is SO overtired.

If he is climbing the gate then I agree that is not a good idea. You can get non-climb gates, or I know of one momma (on here) who used two gates, one on top the other to fill the doorway. If you think that quiet = door open might work for him, then try it. Talk about it. Talk about it at bedtime. You will be surprised how much they understand my guy was 26 months old when we struck that bargain and after a few nights it was no longer an issue.

If there's no way to keep him in the room you are just going to have to gather ALL of your strength and patience and keep returning him - silently - to his room. The first time he comes out, you say 'Come on darling it's bedtime now.' Second time, you say 'Bedtime'. Third and every subsequent time, you say nothing at all, just take him back to bed, put him in. If he will stay in bed crying, you can sit by the door. If he is coming out, return him. You might have to do it for hours, and it might be several nights, but he will get the message.

Another thing I just remembered, when my LO turned 2 we started to need a longer wind-down. Instead of 1 quick story, we lie down on the bed together, with just one little reading light on, and I will read him 3, 4, 5 stories. He cuddles his lovey and gradually relaxes. A 15 mins bedtime routine is just not enough for him these days, I aim for us to be lying down and looking at stories 30 mins before I want to be out the room. We spend the last 10 mins just cuddling and chatting, sharing kisses, singing a lullaby. He really needs the extra wind-down time now that he is such a busy big guy.

[ericapt]

Anna*
Thank you again.  Will try your advice.  Him taking an hour to fall asleep isn't new.  He has been that way for several months, but we have always gotten about 10.5 hour nights and at least a 2 hour nap.  He just takes longer to wind down like you mentioned.  I just have to get up the mental strength to do this because, as I mentioned, I'm 7 months pregnant and exhaustion seems to set in much quicker.  Hopefully he will learn quickly.  My body, and his, can't handle 4-5 hours of sleep any more!  Thanks for your help.

Erica

[anna*]

((((hugs)))) I really hope tonight is easier for you guys. Is he fighting his nap in the daytime too?

[ericapt]

He wasn't, but today will be the first day with the toddler bed, so I'm guessing he will.  We'll see.

[babybarr]

Big hugs to you.  Getting some good advice from Anna, again I would try the earlier bt and see.  Sounds like you have one energetic little bundle on your hands

[ericapt]

Ok, so nap went well today.  Sure it was due to utter exhaustion on his part.  Got him in bed at 6:30 tonight and 3 minutes later he got up and started screaming and crying at the top of his lungs to come out.  DH tried sitting outside of his room and telling him to get back in bed, giving reassurance, but he just became more and more hysterical.  DH heard a thud and went in the room and LO was STANDING ON HIS DRESSER!!! Obviously we can't take everything out of his room, but what in the world!  Why is he so afraid/opposed to staying in bed at night, but took a 2+ hour nap today?  DH got him off of the dresser and put him in bed then told him he would sing to him from outside the room.  It is now 7:18, what next?  How do you break this habit and avoid creating this addiction to us being nearby???  If we try WI/WO he is out of bed and trying to escape from the room behind us before we reach the door.  ANY SUGGESTIONS OR ENCOURAGEMENT WOULD BE SO GREATLY APPRECIATED NOW!!!  I feel like I'm torturing him and definitely want to make sure he is safe!  PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN!  
Thank you in advance,

Erica

***UPDATE:  Now when he gets out of his bed he is going over to the dresser each time and climbing on top.   Ahhhhhhh!!!!!  This is so dangerous!  Why can he handle naps ok, but bedtime has become a NIGHTMARE!  He has ALWAYS loved his bed!  What is the problem?!?!?!  How can I fix it?  Do I take every object out of his room?  Do I just stick to WI/WO for several hours?  How long does this transition usually take?  I FEEL LIKE I AM IN A LIVING NIGHTMARE RIGHT NOW!  My stress levels are through the roof!!!!!!!

2nd UPDATE: I started a new post because I'm totally confused about what our issue is now.  DS is waking in the middle of the night (12:45 am and now it's 2:11 am and he's still awake).  Is there some other sleep issue going on, like NW, or is it all connected to the transition to toddler bed?  We had a NW from 12am to 4am before we transitioned the bed, so now I'm confused as to what the real/current issue is.   Huh  I'm so thankful for all of the help I've received, but with all the additional "issues" I thought that a new post might get additional suggestions.  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

[babybarr]

I'll lock this one then as the other one hopefully will be of more use to you.
 
Link to your new thread
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=171635.0