What do I do? LO standing and laughing at me.

[aylien]

Wondering how to get back on track.  My LO is 11 months and recovering from some new teeth and a bad cold.  I’ve resorted to lots of AP to get her through some really rough nights the past couple weeks and now am trying to resume working on independent sleep habits.

At 9 months I first used PU/PD to teach her to fall asleep on her own (before that she was always nursed or rocked to sleep).  We got to the point where I could *sometimes* lay her down awake and she’d roll around and babble but eventually go to sleep as long as someone was in the room with her.  But I’ve never been able to put her down and walk out of the room, and it always took a good 45 minutes and frequently PU/PD + crying. 

Now, she can pull herself to standing, bringing new challenges.  I put her down, she gets up and laughs as though she thinks this is a game.  I PD, she gets right back up.  If I ignore her she walks around the crib babbling.  Eventually she gets upset and starts yelling at me.  I ignore her until she is really upset, then I put her down, give her a quick pat and say my key phrase, then stand back.  This goes on for 1 hour before she tires of standing. Then I usually hold her hand while she cries herself to sleep.  The whole process takes about 1-1.5 hours.  Since I work full-time, I haven’t had the time to be consistent with NW’s and, TBH, I’ve been nursing her to sleep at NW’s.  I have a long weekend coming up and plan to devote it to sleep training. 

Naps are a whole other story.  Generally, DH or my mom have her during the day.  They put her down awake, she rolls over and goes right to sleep,  60 seconds flat (except when she was sick, they were rocking her to sleep or taking her in the car).

My [long-winded] question is: since she seems to know how to fall asleep on her own at naps, is it safe for me to use WI/WO, or should I start with gradual withdrawal?  Also, how do I handle the situation where she pulls herself to standing and laughs at me?

[Tweakster]

Hi there, since you were a prop for some time I think I would be inclined to suggest GW if you are the one putting her to bed.  WI/WO may be too hard on her since she's used to having you assist her to sleep in some way.  WI/WO is mainly for those independent sleepers who fall off the wagon a bit and need some reteaching.  I think your LO is still learning how to get to sleep on her own at bedtime.

When she pulls herself to standing you can either do PD or just pat the mattress where her head should be and say your key phrase in a monotone voice.  Since she's seeing PD as somewhat of a game just now I would probably limit the amount of interaction with her and just maybe sit in a chair near her crib or down beside her on the floor and do your key phrase from there.  Crying is part of it, just remember she's crying to communicate that she doesn't like this new method, she's used to you putting her to sleep so there is going to be some kick back from her until she learns how to manage it on her own.

I would also wait until you can be consistent and then you will probably find that it only takes a couple of days to get her on track.  If she knows you are confident about teaching her to sleep on her own, she will succumb a lot faster.

Could you post the routine you are working with.  What are the conditions like when DH or mom puts her down?   

[koe2moe]

just pat the mattress where her head should be and say your key phrase in a monotone voice

this worked for us   whoops just typed something and realised that Wendy has asked already  

hugsss to you!!  fingers crossed for you for the coming weekend

[aylien]

That is so helpful.  So many here are so super helpful, yet often first-time moms (like me, except I feel as though I'm lacking some intuition).
 
Her routine (before sick) was:

6/6:30    awake, nurse
             A
8           E solids
             A
9:30       S (after playtime, DH/mom briefly calm DD down, then put her in crib.  DD rolls over and goes to sleep)

11          E solids
             A
2-3        S (afternoon nap is not as easy or consistent as morning nap, according to DH and mom)
3:30       E (bottle of BM and a snack if she wants it)      
             A
6            E (dinner with me)

6:30       bath and bedtime routine including BF, book, short walk around house/garden to say goodnight to everything
7           to bed
8           asleep
   
When I’ve put her to bed at 6:30 she doesn’t fall asleep until 8.   When I put her to bed at 7:30, she also falls asleep most often at 8.    If her afternoon nap is abbreviated, everything gets shifted earlier, and I can successfully get her asleep by 7, though.  It’s possible she may be transitioning to one nap a day, too... 

[koe2moe]

What is it like now? 

[aylien]

Feels as though there isn't much of a routine now, partially because we've been letting her sleep throughout day to recover from OT.  She's a touchy type and has always had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.  Yesterday was (roughly):

6am   awake, nurse. still tired but couldn't get her back to sleep
         A
8       S (15 minutes, then had to put her in carseat so she woke up. didn't sleep in car)
8:30   E
         A
10:00 S (50 minutes)
11      E
         A
12      S (45 minutes)
1:30   E (bottle)
         A
3       E
         A
4:20   S (fell asleep in car, then slept 45 minutes)
6       E
6:30   bath then went for a stroller walk since too early to sleep
7:40   to bed, lots of standing and babbling, not much crying though
8:45   asleep; NWs at 11, 2, 4ish, awake but tired at 6 this morning.
         
thanks for having a look!

[Tweakster]

Hi there, have you read the 2-1 link?
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=163278.0

Do you know which routine you would like to aim for i.e. long AM or short AM?

[koe2moe]

Hey Wendy, i'm thinking if Aylien should first aim at stretching out back to at least 3h A time which was before he was ill.  When he sleeps every 2 hrs now, of course he's not getting a full nap and not refreshed.  Do it gradually, stretching it out 5-15 mins every 3 days and then see where it stands at 3h A, perhaps need further stretching.  baby steps first   what do you all think?

[aylien]

Wendy and Koe2moe, both good bits of advice.  I'd actually read the 2-1 nap transition post already and was thinking LO is headed in that direction.  I also think that we need to get her back on some kind of EASY routine first, so that is what we are focusing on this next week.  That and some work on independent sleep over the upcoming weekend.  

Yesterday was a good start, I think.  We let her sleep whenever to catch up on OT, and here's what we got:

6  awake
8  nap (1:15)
10:30 nap (1:00)
1:30 nap (0:50)
6:15 BT (nurse, then held-to-sleep)
6:30 asleep

NWs at 7:45, 9:00, 10:30, 2, and 4, then awake this morning at 6.

So sleep training this weekend.  I am bracing myself for lots of crying at BT and NWs for several days.  Wish me strength and luck!  

p.s.  on the nap transition, I think we will aim for short a.m. nap, long p.m. nap since her tendency has been early & long a.m. naps.