11 weeks, still all over the place, exhausted and ready to give up.

[Hunters Mum]

Dear Ladies or anyone out there who can help.

I am having a really tough time with my DD2. She has recently gone on a breastfeeding strike and I am finding it very stressful to deal with.

It all started at 8 weeks where she started bobbing on and off the breast. I took her to the doc where they thought she may be costipated and so prescribed her a suppositry which worked. However this still did not stop the fussiness at the breast. The next doctor I saw said it may be my diet so I cut out onions, cabbage etc.

Now at 11 weeks she has decided to stop drinking from me altogether. Yesterday when I saw the 3rd docotor she suggested I try Gaviscon. Which I am currently doing with a bottle of expressed milk. I have been expressing and feeding her this way. Offering her the breast each time she feeds. When offered she screams at me goes really stiff and sometimes arches her back. Otherwise inbetween feeds she is really content and smily. It is only the feeding where I am struggling. Her naps are 45 mins which I try to extend when I can. I have a 20 month old toddler which makes it really hrd to focus on trying to get this right. I have tried a dark room with our clothes off - skin to skin. I have also tried lying down with ehr. This so far has been most succesful to try and get her to drink. However saying that I cant be lying down every 3 hours...obviously I try when I can. I am on the verging of going to bottle feeding with formulae as my milk supply is now getting low. I really dont want to give up. But after 11 weeks she is still feeding 2 hourly at night which is making me exhausted. It is getting worse ratehr than better. I try to follow the 3 hour Easy routine as best I can but I find her naps are shorted than required although I do perservere.

My questions are any ideas why she is on strike? Why is it she wont settle for longer than 45 mins every nap, could this be she is not full enough? Why is she still waking 2 hourly at night when she feeds 3 hourly during the day? She also wakes every morning at 4am and is fussy. My DD1 then wakes at 5am and we have a very early start which means I am utterly tired by the end of each day. Any suggestions would help me as I am trying my very best each day but nothing I do makes a difference My DD1 slept through from 6 weeks so I am in utter shock to my system - very sleep deprived!

Also just to note - she has hardly any cues for hunger or tired. If I leave her she wont eat and wont sleep.....as in she never just drifts off when tired.

Our routine geos something like this depending on when she wakes.

6.30 E (generally not interested in the first feed due to all the feeding at night - how can I stop this shall I offer water during the night instead)
A - she is awake for about 45 min to an hour taking about 15 mins to settle - I use a dummy and swaddle when she sleeps
S - 7.30 - 8.15 I now try to settle her till next feed, sometimes it works other times not.

E 8.15 This is when she will take her first full feed I would say as the first feed she didint eatc much.
A 08.15 - 09.00
s 09:00 - 09:45 (try to settler her again till next feed.

E 11:00
A 11:00 - 11:45/12:00
S 12:00 - 13:00 - this nap she rarely settles again where her morning nas she generally extends to the full time

E 14:00
A 14:00 - 14:45 Again here she never seems tired she fights this nap. Shall I extend awake time. For instance yesterday she sat for 2 hours happy and content smiling untill I put her down.....
S 15:00 - 16:00 Now is when things go slightly pear shaped not sure what to do here....

E 17:00
A 17:00 - 17:30 Bath
S 18:00

I cluster feed her in her sleep at 8pm, then dream feed her at 23:00 ( although she wakes here generally herself, which makes me think she isnt getting enough calories in the day?

Then she wakes and has done so from birth at 2am and 4am and is generally ravenous at these feeds...since birth. I try settle her with dummy but this then exscaltes. Is this a habit? Most mums I speak to get 5 hours stretches at the moment and I have never had 1?


And this is my saga anything you can do to help me please?

[mberry]

I don't know if this would help anything with the eating situation...but I wonder if your A's are too short?  Average times for 2 months is 1 hour 15-20 minutes and average time for  3 months is 1 hour 20-30 minutes...increasing A times could help with the nap situation....

As far as the breastfeeding, I don't know if you've looked at this before: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html

I haven't had the issues that you're dealing with, but there's a lot of good info on that site and I'm sure some of the other ladies here will have some good advice for you!

hugs!

[~inbalance~]

Since one doctor has recommended Gaviscon, does that mean she has reflux?  It might be her reflux isn't under control.  I wonder if trying some other reflux medications might help a bit.  (((hugs))) My DS2 is 13wks and we have had our fair share of issues up until this point, mostly sleep related.  But we started a new med for reflux last week and it has made a world of difference.  You could check out the colic/reflux/crying boards as well if you are wondering about reflux issues.  It sounds to me like there is more going on than just a fussy baby and I'm not sure if routine tweaks are going to help until you get a handle on things.    

[*Liz*]

I agree with Martina - this sounds like feeding aversion due to reflux.

Gaviscon is a thickener so unlikely to work if she isn't feeding iyswim? It is also very constipating. I think a proper pain relieving medication is needed. Is it your GP you are seeing ATM?

How does she feed from the bottle?

How is weight gain?

A lot of refluxers prefer to feed at night as it is easier for them to do when they are relaxed.

Your LO sounds very similar to what my DS was like at the 4 mths mark.

Agree with Martina that I doubt you will get past 45 min naps until feeds are better established.

Have you tried proper on demand feeding? It is one of the best ways to overcome feeding aversions as it puts the LO back in control (but you would need to relieve pain at the same time).

((hugs)) to you. I remember how rubbish this sort of thing is.

Will wait for your answers and then try and help more 

[First Time Mom]

I am thinking the same as pp's about the reflux. It sounds like your lo's reflux is not under control and this can result in a lo either wanting to nurse too much OR a nursing strike. I would look at changing meds, my ds had bad reflux from birth and we tried one med that did nothing for him (yet worked for others) and switched to another which did the trick.

You mentioned that you offer bottles of expressed, when do you offer the bottles in the day? I wonder if you are trying to bf and he's refusing, so you offer the bottle, is it possible that he is preferring the bottle as it's easier/faster than bfing and that could be causing him to refuse bfing?

I would do more of a "feed on demand" for now, which would probably mean shorter times between feeds in the daytime. My ds was never able to go a full 3 hours in the afternoon, he always wanted to do a bit of a cluster feed in the afternoon. Come to think of it, so did my dd when she was a baby.

(((((hugs)))), I hope you are able to sort this out soon . I know how frustrating and tiring it is, especially with a toddler to deal with at the same time and with both being early risers. It will get better, hang in there .

[Hunters Mum]

Ladies, I finally have a break through! I went to a breast feeding clinic and they think it may be down to wind, bottle and the dummy.
I have also been very stressed out so the Health visitor suggested I lie down and feed to intice her back to the boob and do away with the bottle. I have down this and she is drinking again from me! I am doing more on demand feeding rather than 3 hourly.....

So now that that is sorted are there any suggestions for my routine? As it seems the afternoons get very messy and I sometimes end up with a baby that is very tired and not easy to settle. Also she wakes up all night long even though I am feeding her sometimes 2 hourly during the day. She feeds at 20:00, 23:00, 2am and 4am......sometimes even more during the night. Do you think this is habit? What can I do to help? Am I expecting to much at 11 weeks?

Even though I try my nest during the day even if I get the routine spot on with her naps etc she STILL wakes all night long. Is this normal...........?

I am still very very tired but I am feeling more realxed about the feeding issues I was having....I still wonder if topping up with the bottle will help with the nights? Could it be to not getting enough calories during the day.

Lastly since the strike she will only take the left boob, so I have just gone with this as she was drinking. Is it possible to feed with one boob each feed? She totally will not take the right which is the smaller and flows less....

Thanks for your support so far, I really appreciate it!!!

[A pair of Charlies]

Hi there

How are things now? Still need some input? 

Charlotte

[Hunters Mum]

Hi Charlotte, things are going a bit better with feeding. She is still very fussy  but I tend to feed her in a dark room and she will take a feed.

As for nights though she is still waking through the night up to 3 times or more. Not sure if I should take away the dummy, top her up with some formulae or feed each time she wakes?

She is napping better during the day since I have increased A time to an hour, but this has had no effect on her night sleep.

[A pair of Charlies]

Do you feel that the dummy might be becoming a prop?

If it was me, I would top up with formula. Are the feeds full feeds - both day and night? Cluster / block feed in the evening?
Oh, and are you eating and drinking plenty?