Help with 11 month old night wakings!

[LucysMommy]

I need some help!  I am going back to work in about a month and I need to get things into shape with DD. I still feed her 1-3 times at night.  She also uses a pacifier at night and naps sometimes.  Sometimes the pacifier works to get her back to sleep, sometimes the only way I can get her back to sleep is to feed her.  I have been working on night weaning her, night feeds are now 4 minutes on one side.  We used to do 7 minutes on each side so I am glad that we have decreased that.
She has never been a good sleeper, she had short naps until about a month ago and has never slept through the night.  She is teething 3 teeth, I think.
We live in a rural area so whenever I go in to do errands or shopping by the time we can get out of the house and get things done, DD almost always ends up with one nap in the car and it ends up being short.  We have also been doing some weekend trips and another one set for this weekend, and that doesn't help.  She also has only one tooth so far and I KNOW more must be coming... tylenol/advil don't seem to help her much when her teeth are cutting, she was up 8-10 times a night for a few days while her last tooth was cutting.

Our routine when we are at home is:
8:00 wake and BF
9-9:30 breakfast
11:15 snack / bf
11:30 nap (usually 1-1 1/2 hrs)
1:00 lunch
3:15 snack / bf
3:30 nap (usually 1-1 1/2 hrs)
6:00 dinner
7:30 start bedtime routine
7:45 bf
8:00 bed
Our naptime / bedtime routine is diaper change, offer BF, story, then sing 'twinkle twinkle little star' as I put her in bed, give her her lovey, close the curtains, turn off lights.
Usually 1-3 bf in the night, I usually feed only about 4 minutes on one side as I have been trying to drop the night feeds.  She usually protests when I stop the feed but then settles into bed quickly after the feed. 
The last few nights I have been doing one full feed in the night to try and tank her up, doesn't seem to be working.
I try to stay home at least every other day to keep the routine.
I would prefer not to have to have DH help in the night as he has a stressful job and needs his sleep.
I haven't tried pu/pd.
That's a lot of information but hopefully you can help me.  I am nervous about going back to work with these night wakings, I am a teacher and need that sleep to get through the day.
Thanks!

[Tweakster]

Hi there, it does sound like maybe the feed is a bit of a prop for your LO.  She's eating well in the day, I would keep up with what you are doing in that you feed her only once in the night and help her to self-settle at those other times.  Eventually you can work on weaning the final feed. 

Since teeth are cutting, it's no doubt a wonky time.  If the usual meds aren't helping then you may just have to be patient through this until the tooth finally breaks.  I would also try the numbing gel or granules when she wakes in the night, it could be discomfort causing some of the waking and then she likes to BF to get back to sleep.  Can she plug her own paci?  It might be better to steer her towards that for self-soothing, she can break the habit at a much later date.  Does she go to bed and go to sleep on her own ok? 

There are some helpful links here for the weaning help:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=87815.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=46907.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52857.0

She's also starting to enter the age of the 2-1 switch, which means they start to drop some day sleep in preparation towards one nap...it would help to get acquainted with the process so you know what's coming next:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=163278.0

Let's try to get you some sleep!

[LucysMommy]

We usually have a feed around 12-1ish (always seems to be about 30 minutes after I get into bed!), then another around 4-5ish.  Lately she has been waking up at about 6:30 (this may be from hearing her daddy getting ready for work) and I have been letting her bf at that time as well since I am soooo tired I just want her to go back to sleep.  She goes back to sleep then until 8:00ish.  Which feed you you recommend I keep?  I would think the 12-1 feed should go and then maybe the next time she wakes I give her a full feed?
With the self settling, do you mean pu/pd? 
Do you think there is another reason for the early wake ups, she always goes back to sleep after I nurse her.

[Jessica0831]

Hi.. just wanted to give my opinion because I have an 11mo old who has been waking up several times per night, still feeding about a month ago. I know EXACTLY how you feel about being sleep deprived. I think mine is teething now (no teeth yet) and I was up for 3-hours last night!
But on a positive note, I was going to share with you how I weaned him off night feeding. Up until 8mo I was BF him at night, basically using it as a prop for him to go back to sleep. I transitioned to bottle-feeding and he would take around 4oz or less 2x's per night. Sometimes he wouldn't go right back to sleep and that's when I knew I need to stop feeding him  and get him sleeping.

About 1mo ago, I began diluting his bottle.
Night 1-3: 1oz water, 3oz formula
4-6: 2oz water, 2oz formula
7-9:3oz water, 1oz formula

He transitioned very well and at the same time I did PU/PD if he was having trouble going right back to sleep. The first night without any formula, we were up 3 hours, but I didn't give in. And, the next night, he slept from 8pm-6:30am. Yeah!! He hasn't developed a strong pattern of sleeping through the night, but no more feeding at night, he doesn't even want it. I usually give him water, bc he may be thirsty. And, he is drinking more during the day. I upped his 5-7oz during the day, because he was no longer getting them at night. They just need help realizing that they should be consuming their calories during the day, not at night. Right now, your LO is getting some at night, which you could replace during the day.

I know mine is a little different bc I was using a bottle. Don't know if that is an option for you or not!

Goodluck!

[LucysMommy]

I am planning on introducing cow's milk to her when she is one (in a few weeks) for daytime feeds for when I go back to work.  I was thinking that once she is used to this, I could try giving cow's milk in the night instead of breastfeeding, then try to wean her off that...
I am planning on continuing to bf 2x a day, at wake up in the morning and before bed.

I am going to try to cut the night feeds down to 2 minutes tonight for the next few days and see how it goes.

Wendy, with allowing one feed in the night, would that be confusing for my LO, that she is allowed once but not the other times?  What if she does not self soothe and we reach the time for that one night feed? Should I feed her then?

[Tweakster]

Hi there, we didn't BF so I'm not sure.  I do know that some still have a NF for quite a long time.  I guess the reason with leaving one feed is that you have to start somewhere right?  Or you would just be going cold turkey.  I'm going to ask some more seasoned BFing moms to come take a look :-)

[Shiv52]

Hey there

We'd gotten into a bit of a habit of bfing when my LO woke as it really was so handy and she did settle right back to sleep but it did get to be so disruptive for me and my sleep.  I managed to wean the night feeds fairly easily but gradually over about 2 weeks. 

The way we did it was to increase the time through the night that I didn't offer a bf if she woke because x time and then resettled with ssh-pat and gave her her dummy if she woke before that time.  I'll be honest the first two night when I wouldn't feed she was not a bit impressed but after that it was much better.  The reason I did it that way rather than reduce each of the feeds was I felt not offering a bf when she woke was the issue as opposed to the amount IYSWIM?  She used the bfing as a way to get back to sleep so ultimately that was the prop I had to break. 

So the I decided to start with 2am (her last feed was 8/8.30pm) and for those first few nights if she woke before then I resettled her and didn't feed.   If she woke after that I offered a feed.  I stuck with that for 3-4 nights so she could get the idea about resettling a different way.  Then I moved to 3am then 4am then 5am etc every 2/3 days, resettling as needed.  By the end of the first week we were getting through to 3am consistently without a wake up and if she did wake she settled much easier.  I kept going until I wasn't feeding until 5.30/6am.  Her normal wake up was 8am and once I got to this stage I did feed at this time. That one night feed to get us through to normal wake up was fine with me and I weaned it a few months later.   

Once we were getting through to a reasonable time for a feed I then worked on her finding her dummy herself when/if she woke so she could settle back to sleep herself without needing me.  I think Wendy mentioned that though too! 


It really is worth it especially if you are going back to work.  remember first couple of nights may be tough as LO realises you aren't feeding her any more but after my LO got used to the new way of settling it got much better and easier all round.  Oh and I remember once my LO was sleeping through much better I still woke at frequent intervals for weeks expecting her to wake but that did pass too!!! 

HTH xx

[LucysMommy]

Thanks for the great idea.  I haven't heard that way of night weaning yet but I think that might be the ticket for my DD.  I have reduced the night feeds down to two minutes (!) but she still seems to be waking and the only way to resettle is to feed.  I'll give that a try, it's the weekend now so I can catch up on some sleep with DH home.

For about the last week, seems to be becoming a habit, DD has been waking up at 5, 6, 7, and then her usual wake up of 8:30.  I get her to resettle with the soother or a little bf.  I give her a big bf in the night, so I don't think she could be hungry.  This week we have had a lot of short naps in the car, I try to put her to bed 30 minutes early to make up for it.  Any ideas what could be causing these early wakings?  DD is definitely  still tired but unsettled for some reason. 

[LucysMommy]

A little update...
last night DD only had one feeding!  However I think it might just be a fluke because she does do that every once in a while.  I'll keep you posted.

[Tweakster]

Sounds like the way forward to more sleep for all of you!  Keep us posted :-)

[Shiv52]

Hope this is the start of things to come!!  {{hugs}}}

[LucysMommy]

Last night I had to resettle a few times using sshh/pat.  Then I fed DD at about 2:30.  Around 5:15 she woke and would not resettle... it took 1 1/2 hours of fussing.  Ugh.  It was tough not to give in and quickly feed her as I knew she would go right back to sleep!  She woke again at about 7:30, so I gave her a full feed and then bless her she went back to sleep until 9:45!  So we both could make up the sleep we missed.
It was interesting, when doing the sshh/pat, I found I could stop the shh but as soon as I stopped the pat or lifted my hand from her she cried.  It was as though she needed the reassurance that I was there.
Hope tonight will be better!

[Tweakster]

It was as though she needed the reassurance that I was there.

She likely will do for a while.  But really you are doing so great.  And the fact that she goes back to sleep means she isn't that hungry and has the capacity to do it.  Be strong in your resolve and I think you will get great results.

[Shiv52]

Awh...wee pet probably just did want to know you were there.  As Wendy says she probably will need you to help her settle for a while.  Its a big change for them when they are getting used to a new way of getting back to sleep.

{{{{hugs}}}}  You're doing great xx

[LucysMommy]

Hi there.  We have been doing well with only one night feeding for the last week.  She has been settling down quickly after about 5 min of shh/pat.  Usually I feed her once at 2:30 and then her first feed in the morning is at about 7:30.  I haven't been doing much with pushing that 2:30 feed forward yet.  I think she is teething, and having tons of nw because of it.  Last night she was waking every hour or two, the 2 nights before, almost as bad.  I can see 2 teeth cutting plus another coming soon.  Poor baby.  She hasn't been napping much at all during the day the last 3 days, her routine is totally off and I just don't know what to do...  tylenol and ibuprofen don't seem to be helping.  I am pretty sure she is in an OT cycle because of the poor nights, which is affecting her naps.  Usually I attribute this kind of stuff to teething.  Or could all this be related to the change in night feedings? 
I have never been able to get into a good routine with her, have always struggled with short naps and she has never STTN.  I just feel like a failure today, am so exhausted and I feel like I will never get a good sleep again.