Holding food in his mouth

[Samees_Mother]

Hi Ladies
I think this maybe a longish post so please bear with me. Firstly let me give you my LO's routine then I'll move onto the problem:  He is 3 weeks shy of 12 months,

5.30/6.30: BF
7.30/8.00: Solids (porridge or such like)
9.00/10.00: 1-1.5hr nap
11.45/12.00: Lunch (3-4oz of meat, carb and veg + 1.5-2oz Fruit puree/yoghurt)
2.00/3.00: 1-1.5hr Nap
4.45/5.00: Dinner (As above)
6.00: Bath
7.00: BF and Bed

So that's the routine, this is now the problem and I've searched on this forum for something similar but can't find anything so please accept my apologies if it exists already...

My DS started solids from around 6months and was quite a good eater, but has been quite a sicky baby since birth, he would try new puree's and would only take between 15-20 mins to completely finish his food.  However, since 8months old he started to hold food in his mouth, sometimes it would seem like he's forgotten that he has food in his mouth.  From 9.5/10 months I started to give him water at every mouthful just so that he'd swallow what was in his mouth.  It can now take anywhere between 45-75 minutes to feed him.  Its so frustrating! The reason for my post today is that I'm at the end of my tether and actually my blood boiled over and I shouted at him and placed him firmly in his cot...I was so angry at myself for losing control.  I just want him to eat!  He was sick at lunch time and everything came out including his meds!!  He has always been a sicky baby since birth but it did improve when I started solids but now its worse than ever.  Out of the 3 meals he has, he's always sick at least once a day.

I did increase his food intake when he was 9 months as he was eating well, but had to reduce it back down to what he has mentioned above.  I've tried finger foods but he's not interested in feeding himself, but now its got to the stage where he doesn't even like the look of the spoon. 

I just don't know what to do, I'm at a loss and I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, when will this persistent food holding end.  I thought it was a fad and that he'd grow out of it but its coming onto 4 months now.  The time has gradually increased.  At the start I could keep him entertained so that he'd eat but even that doesn't work anymore.  I know its not that he's full, coz he can't be full after 1 spoonful.

He started nursery on Wed and the staff said that he was sick a little but ate most of what they gave him.  I got him home and he refused to eat.  I just don't understand.

Please help, I've just purchased the finger foods book by Jennie Maizels, this was recommended in one of the posts in this section. 

[anna*]

((((hugs))))

How is his weight? What if you stopped feeding him altogether, eventually he will feed himself something? It's great that he's eating OK at nursery. I would give him some finger foods on his tray, then just leave him to it. Don't sit and watch. Go and busy yourself with something in the kitchen, or somewhere you can just keep half an eye on him. Let him just play with the food. If he plays with it for 30 mins and doesn't eat anything, that's OK. Experiment with giving him different foods, different shapes, different presentations - my LO used to like having some of those tiny weeny food containers (like tupperware), with a few raisins in one, a few cheese cubes in another, a few rice puffs, a few blueberries. etc.

(((hugs))) I know how stressful it is. Nothing makes me angrier faster than messing about over food, I think it is about our mummy instinct to make sure our little ones are fed.

[~inbalance~]

Getting food into our LO's is definitely a stressful thing sometimes!  When you say he is sicky, or that he is sick at meals, what is making him sick?  Does he have something specific like reflux?  Have you addressed it with his doctor?  I'm just wondering if there is more going on.  I noticed on your routine he only has 2 BFs a day.  Is he getting enough milk do you think?  Just want to make sure he's still getting enough nutrition.

Definitely try to take a relaxed approach to mealtimes as you don't want him to develop any negative associations with eating.  For the holding food in his mouth, DS1 has gone through phases like that as well and they have always passed, so hopefully it will pas for you as well. 

The fact that he's eating something at nursery is good, and it means he still wants to eat so he might just need a change in the eating environment at home to get him interested in mealtimes again.  Do you eat your meals with him?  It might be a good idea to try as much as you can to eat together as a family, or even just you and him.  Even if it's not your mealtime, sit with him and have a snack, and try to make it an interactive and social event, rather than you sitting there feeding and watching him, kwim?  If you haven't already, start letting him eat the same meals as you do, just without any added salt or strong seasonings.  He might be more interested in eating 'big people's' food.    Often my DS won't want what's on his plate but will want the exact same thing off of ours!

If at some point he is really not interested or is really fighting eating anything, I would end mealtime and get him down rather than dragging it out longer, that way hopefully neither of you gets too frustrated.

Of course you will want to keep encouraging him to eat, and offer a good variety of tastes and textures.  Try to make it fun.  But try not to stress as well.  Make sure he is still getting enough milk (but not too much as you still want him to be hungry for food, just the recommended amount for his age).  You are entering toddler territory and toddlers surprisingly often get away with eating very little, much to mummy's dismay! 

[firsttimemummy]

If you are wanting him to swallow you can very gently rub his throat or cheek in a downwards motion - I used to have to sometimes do it with children with special needs who were eating pureed food.  Obviously you don't want to do this all the time but if there is a mouthful that he is not swallowing now and then you could give it a try. It just encourages the swallowing reflex but doesn't force the food down, iykwim?

[Samees_Mother]

Hi thanks for all your replies, firstly, My reply to Martina is that we're currently in the process of seeing if he does have reflux. He's on baby gaviscon, ranitidine to see if it helps with his sickiness. He's still on purée'd/mashed food with pasta shells or couscous or rice mixed in for texture. I've tried larger finger foods but he gags and then is sick.

Secondly, he's on 2 bf's because when I used to try and feed him at 11 and 3pm he would refuse!  At his morning feed he takes anywhere between 4 and 15 minutes and at bedtime it is between 8 and 20 mins. I don't know what that equates to!  He see's a dietitian and he has been taking calcium liquid for a couple of months now coz she didn't think LO was getting enough. He started having yoghurt only a month or so ago coz we thought he might be dairy intolerant. I think he's more cows milk intolerant coz when I made rice pudding with cows milk he had a reaction. I only introduced cheese into his diet recently as he reacted to that when he was younger.

With regard to firsttimemummy I do stroke under his chin or his cheek to encourage swallowing but he just holds it in his mouth til it leaks out of the sides. The only one that helps is drinking water! ;-(

But thanks again ladies for the encouragement and I will try to take on board the advice.

[~inbalance~]

Ok, so a few thoughts.  First of all, I don't think he's getting enough milk at all with only 2 BF's, but that's a bit of a different issue.  However, the fact that he refuses some BFs, and since you have mentioned that your are currently trying to figure out if he has reflux, makes me think that yes reflux might be a problem, and he might have developed some food aversions as a result.  Did you ever think he had reflux as a younger baby?  What I am wondering is if he is holding food in his mouth because he associates swallowing with pain, especially since you say he is sick so often.  Another thing that makes me wonder this is you said he used to eat fairly well but is not anymore, so another reason I worry he is associating eating with pain.  This is definitely something to keep talking to his doctor about.  I would want to get the reflux, if that's what it is, properly diagnosed and treated as quickly as possible so as to not create future problems.  If you don't see a quick improvement on the gaviscon and ranitadine I would press for more answers from your doctor and maybe explore a different type of medication.  In the meantime, definitely keep offering in a relaxed fashion, and don't push him if he doesn't want to eat.  I'm going to see if I can get someone with some more reflux experience to have a look to and see what they think.   

[Samees_Mother]

Thanks Martina, I know he's not taking in enough milk but there is no way he takes any more. I did think there was something wrong when he was younger because he was sick more often than not when he was exclusively BF'd. I went to the docs when he was around 3 months and they prescribed gaviscon then but because I had to mix so much water to make it he was not taking it an when I tried to get him to take it he'd be sick even more. Then he got over being as sick as often but then started all over again so then they thought it may have been an intolerance. I went on a dairy and soua free diet but that didn't help!  The thing is he refuses the first spoon then I hold back his hands and when he tastes it he's fine and will eat the next 3to4 spoons then proceeds to hold it in his mouh and that's when I coax it down with his water. But now he realises that's how get him to swallow he's starting to push that away!  I fed him at lunchtime and he didn't want to eat and held the food in his mouth from he first spoon!  Regarding his BF'ing, I triedto get him onto the bottle so that I could mix feed but he refused it, I tried for a couple of weeks using EBM, but he just chewed on the teat. Hhe thing is when I used to DF he took 6-8 oz of EBM!  So I gave up onthe idea of bottles. At the breast he's not really that interested, he will feed longer if he's tired. If he's not tired like tonight he doesn't feed for long, he stayed on for 14 mins in total but that's not continuous. I swapped sides twice on each side. At dinner time he only ate the remainder of the pouch from lunch as I was out. But he did eat with difficulty a 4oz pot of yoghurt. But he never used to hold yoghurt in his mouth until recently.

Thanks again Martina.

[Alison_3]

My DD is a year old and we're having some of the same issues.  She doesn't hold the food in her mouth, but rather spits it out or won't even try it.  (or throws it on the floor to feed the cat. ).  I'm trying to figure out if it's just something age appropriate that babies go through (my boys didn't  ) or if it's reflux related.  I think it could be a little of both. Some reflux babies have texture aversions. 

If at some point he is really not interested or is really fighting eating anything, I would end mealtime and get him down rather than dragging it out longer, that way hopefully neither of you gets too frustrated.

That is exactly what we do. 

I agree about the milk too.   Will he take EBM from a sippy cup? 

Maybe the reflux is an issue and it hurts to eat.  I agree with Martina...try to get the reflux addressed and see if his feeds (both BF and solids) improve. 

{{{Hugs}}} feeding is so frustrating at times, but try to remain calm and keep offering a variety of foods/textures. 

[*Liz*]

Jacob had reflux associated feeding aversions - but it wasn't like this. He quite simply would not eat or open his mouth for anything. Would just shake his head and push me away. But he was fully medicated and eventually taught himself to eat with finger foods. He only really started to eat anything at all at 12 mths or so.

Have you spoke to your doctor/ HV about this? It sounds to me as though he would benefit from a speak and language assessment to check out the mechanics or chewing and swallowing and make sure there aren't any issues there.

Gaviscon is a pretty odd choice of reflux med for a LO who is on solids and only 2 BFs a day as well  . Is it a paed or a family doctor that you are seeing?

[Samees_Mother]

Lo is seeing a dietitian and a gastroenterologist and in the process of seeing a speech and language therapist. Regarding drinking milk from a silly cup, I've tried and he drinks but he only has it for a while. How long can ebm stay in the cup before it needs discarding? I could try dairy free formula! But it's hard enough getting him to drink! He loves water. X

[~inbalance~]

I'm glad that you are seeing professionals to get it all sorted out.  I hope they can help you out.  Re the milk intake, I really feel you need to keep trying to get liquids in him.  Do you pump BM at all?  Unfortunately I don't think you can keep it long in a cup, especially if he's already had some.  But if you pump enough to keep offering him a few oz then it's better than nothing.  Also, if he eats cereals you can add BM to his cereal.  Lastly, it might be an idea to offer him a hypoallergenic formula.  Like I said, I really feel he needs those liquids, and water has no nutritional value (although it's great that he likes it!).  What does the dietician say?  How is his weight?  You could also try almond milk (unsweetened) mixed with coconut milk (together it has a similar nutritional profile to cow's milk), or often goat's milk is more easily tolerated for LO's who can't have cow's milk.  I would run these ideas by the dietician first though to see if you can work something out.  Keep offering the sippy cup, it was around a year that my DS started drinking well out of it and I switched all his milk to the sippy.  It's all about practice.