4 week old sleep ... now 5 weeks

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Sabs, it really sounds like Alyssa is doing well considering her age and her reflux/MPI issues.  4h and then 2h in the basket is great!  And glad the carseat worked for a while, too.

20 min of shh/pat is really ok.  The whole sleep training thing really is a long process and at 5 weeks old she's not going to be able to sleep fully independently no matter what you do, especially with the reflux/MPI stuff.  It's going to take babysteps to get her there, that's just the normal process of things.  I think you should keep up what you're doing and if the carseat, swing, your mom's help, etc are working to get you both some rest at night, that's really fine.  You're doing a great job.  She's going to get there as she is developmentally and physically able.

Big hugs, having a nb is really hard work, especially with a toddler running around I'm sure (and as I'll soon find out!).   You care so much about both of your girls and they are lucky to have you. 

[scucci1979]

Thanks so much. The majority of the time, I feel like an awful mother b/c I can't spend equal time with both girls.
I know she is still very young but when you have those BW methods lurking in your brain, you are determined to do things right from the start. Wishful thinking!!

I will keep you posted on how the next few nights go. Since we had a decent night last night, I am guessing tonight will be a little rough.

[anna*]

Totally agree with pp, 20 mins of shush-pat is really so good for her age. Please don't stress too much about EASY and independent sleep. We hadn't even heard of EASY until Stan was about 11 weeks old, and he got the hang of independent sleep really pretty quickly.

[Tweakster]

At that age we were still putting Finn down already asleep, and carefully backing away and being quiet lol 

It sounds like she's sleeping better though?

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Austin was falling asleep at the breast - only! - until 4 mo of age when we finally found BW.  We turned things around really quickly, in general, so it can be done.  You're laying great groundwork for independent sleep and in time she'll get there.  I know it's hard when you want to start as you mean to go on, but we can all only do what we can do and you're doing great.   Keep us posted.

[Canwi]

The majority of the time, I feel like an awful mother b/c I can't spend equal time with both girls.

I completely understand how you feel Sabs.  At our worst times my DS1 spent at least 3 hours a day watching DVD's while I tried in desperation to get DS2 to eat and/or sleep.  At the time I felt like the most incompetent mother on the face of the planet.   Looking back if I had to do it again, even with the knowledge I have, I would do it all the same way.  Why?  Because you have to do what works when you have refluxers - and that includes the siblings and your spouse. 
You are NOT an awful mother.  You cannot spend equal time with your children ... ever.  I thought it was possible, but it's not.  There are some days I spend way more time with DS1 than DS2 and vice-versa.  I would imagine that if I added up the minutes over a week, it would be pretty even.  But to keep 'score' isn't going to help anyone.  Your kids will not keep a tally.  In fact you may find that 20 minutes total 1:1 time with Madi is enough to fill her 'Mummy-time' cup for a day.  Another day she may need more. 
Right now Alyssa is going to need more time because she is little and completely reliant on you for everything.  As she gets older this will ease off. 
Do make a point of spending some 1:1 direct time with Madi so she doesn't feel left out.  I used to take DS1 out for a walk around the block just after DH got home so we got away from DS2 and I then only had DS1 to focus on.

[scucci1979]

Makes perfect sense. Now I need to work on getting her to sleep independently in the early mornings. She has so much wind/gas that she only wants to sleep in my arms.

[scucci1979]

Please refresh my memory.  I try to act on her first yawn for naps, but they are not reliable so I have to go by A time. ATM she is averaging from 1hr10min-1hr and 20min.  I put her down drowsy awake but she wakes 10min later and then again another 10min later. Is this b/c she is learning to fall asleep independently.

I got her to sleep in my bed once last night.  I was a little tired, so I put her on her tummy beside me and she fell asleep.

Is it fine for her to have a few naps in her crip or moses basket. Should i stick to one or the other?

[Tweakster]

I think at this point it's fine to sleep her wherever she will sleep really, in her crib or basket, or in a sling, car seat, swing, or on you if you have to.  You all need sleep to feel better.  

She could be waking because she's still in pain/discomfort.  How is the reflux and MPI going?  Are you seeing improvement there?

[scucci1979]

She still spits up quite a bit after each feed. It is very liquidy and she does cry sometimes after the spit up.  The nutramigen seems to be working and helping with her tummy issues.
I don't remember the stages of falling asleep. Is it normal for them to wake up so frequently?

[Canwi]

Probably due to her learning to sleep independently, combined with overcoming some reflux/MPI related stuff.
Your end goal is to have her in the crib.  So if you can get her to sleep easily there, do so.  If not, then whereever you can get her to sleep.

[Tweakster]

I found a couple of links that might help:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65742.0

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64515.0

Remember though at this young age they are still spending loads of time in REM sleep and probably why they wake more frequently.  Since A also has a medical issue, I think that would account for a lot of the waking.

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Remember though at this young age they are still spending loads of time in REM sleep and probably why they wake more frequently.  Since A also has a medical issue, I think that would account for a lot of the waking.

Totally agree.

[scucci1979]

I just read those two links yesterday Wendy. Thanks

Last night after her 4am feed she did not want to settle. she only wanted to sleep in our arms.  This morning, I think her reflux flared and she only napped for 30min, so we are in OT land. Trying to settle her now. She doses off then wakes up. I don't get it. She is swaddled, and placed on the side. She HATES the swaddle.