Bedtime help!

[timmysmommy]

My DS is 5.5 months and we have been having bedtime troubles for quite awhile now.  He can put himself to sleep for naps most of the time as long as I have his A time just right.  We have a few problems I am aware of that could be contributing.

First, I want him to wake later so I never wake him in the morning.  He wakes up anytime between 7:00 and 8:00 although yesterday he slept until 8:30 due to sickness related nws.  Since the start of our day is always changing, I am never quite sure when to put him to bed.  

The second problem is I am struggling to get a consistent bedtime routine.  Bathtime has to be in the morning because my spirited little monkey gets all wound up.  I try for a feed, diaper change, sleep sack, books, lullaby and into bed.  However, sometimes he gets tired early and starts to fall asleep during the feed.  Other times, I go through the whole routine, put him to bed, and he is up looking around, and rolling.  He always cries.  Even when he tried a catnap he cried.  Usually at bedtime it is his real cry- not his mantra.  I don't do the routine every night either since we travel and entertain a lot.  Sometimes it is just a quick lullaby and into bed like I do for his naps.

Would my problem of screaming child at bedtime be resolved if I chose a wake-up time- say 7:00 and stuck to it?  I keep hoping we can start at 8:00 instead and go to bed later.  This would make it easier to get the whole bedtime routine in I guess.  How do I know when he is ready for bed?  His sleep cues are now way off.

Yesterday was a great day except for bedtime.  I would like a similar schedule every day, with wake up at 8, bedtime at 8:30, but I can't quite get there consistently between teething, and his current cold.

Wake 8:30
E: 9:00 (feeds take 20 min tops)
A:
S:11:00
E 1:00
A:
S: 4:00
E 6:00
A:
E: 7:30
A:
E:8:30
S: 9:00

I tried to put him to bed at 8:30, but he was just awake looking around and crying, so I got him up and fed him.  Tried again at 9:00 and he cried, had to pat shush him to sleep.

S

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Sounds like he's sick and teething at the moment, which makes things really tough.  You  really can't sleep train effectively with teething or illness and he has both!   Poor kiddo.  So I would put things off until he's feeling better.

That said, once things are back on track I think it would benefit you to consider a set wake up time.  Tracy always recommended starting the day at 7 since most babies go down best for the night around 7pm.  That said, that won't work for everyone.  So perhaps you want to try 7:30 or 8 if you think he'll consistently sleep that late for you.  Earlier BT does tend to work best for most LOs, even though it's not usually the most convenient for us.

Sounds like your life is very hectic but the best you can I would stick to your bedtime winddown.  It will signal to him that it's time for bed and that will help him be ready for sleep.

The crying before bed - what kind of cry is it?  Is he annoyed and wants to stay awake - ie UT?  Or is he trying to get to sleep but he's too tired - OT?

Your EASY generally looks good.  This can be a tough age as they drop the CN.  If we can sort through if he's OT or UT we can work on tweaking a bit.  Keep me posted.

[timmysmommy]

Thanks for your reply.  Now is definitely not the time to sleep train, but I want to get an idea of what to do once we are ready.  He is teething, and sick, and we are also about to go on vacation, and move 15 hrs away.  Life is definitely hectic right now. 

 I think you are right and I need to pick a start time.  He seems to like 7:30, so I'll probably go with that.  When I bring him up to his room for nap time, and bedtime, he starts rubbing his eyes and seems very tired.  Once I start singing his lullaby he starts to fuss.  I think he knows it is bedtime, and doesn't want to go to sleep, even though he is tired.  The fussiness during the lullaby gets more intense as the day goes on, so that by bedtime he is crying.  He cries louder once I lay him down, then I use shush pat.  He is not comforted by me picking him up.  I try to use shush pat in the crib until he stops crying, and then let him put himself to sleep- but that only happens about 25% of the time.  He will not go to sleep if he is not tired.  When he is UT, he picks his head up and looks around, and rolls around in his crib all while crying.  Shush pat does not calm him at this point.  I usually get him up, and we try again after a little while.  He could be OT since we are not doing a catnap.  If I try to do his bedtime earlier, he does the UT thing.  The only way I could get him to take a catnap was to take a walk in the stroller.  Maybe I need to add a short one in and see if he is calmer at bedtime.

Today we had a wake up at 7:30, and was asleep by 8:30.  He started fussing while I sang his lullaby, cried louder when I put him down.  I patted his back and turned on a lullaby cd that I use in the car to help him sleep.  He calmed down quickly and put himself to sleep.

We used to have lots of nap troubles, but no bedtime troubles.  Now naps are better, and bedtime is a mess.   Thanks for your help!  I think I just needed someone to help me think it through.