21 month old naps are STILL a mess!!

[~Emma~]

 Just out of interest Jo have you ever tried a set nap time every day? We did and it did the trick for us to settle things down. It took a week or so for naps to even out and now he does do good if we stretch it out 30 mins either way if we need to.

[*Jo*]

Yeah we used to do set naps and they worked, but then they just went to pot. It used to be at 12.30 so maybe I should do a 1pm nap?? He's just so tired by 12 I don't want to push him, he starts yawning, rubbing his head and resting on my shoulder and I just feel mean making him wait another hour for his nap. Today he was up at 6.15am and as we had put him to bed at an early 6.30 past night due to the one hour nap I felt ok about him getting up at that time. He's just so tired all the time but there are too many hours in the day and not enough sleeping going on!

[alethiaperry]

Jo, I'm with PP.  Our boys are the same age, and I haven't counted A times in about 6 months.  He's down for a nap at 1pm every single day.  (He wakes at 7:30 or 8am)  If he wakes earlier or later, it doesn't matter, he's down at 1pm... unless he is obviously ill.  If he misses a nap for some reason, or has a really short one, we only change the bedtime by 30 mins... (again, unless he's ill).  So, bed for 7pm on early nights and 7:30pm on normal nights.  Some days he's cranky, but we just get out of the house then.  If he was tired, he'll make up for it by sleeping in later in the morning.  It really helps the mom to stay sane when you know when nap time is.  Some days DS sleeps for an hour... some days he sleeps for 2.5hrs.  Anyways, even if he's not tired... I put him in there for quiet time.  I really hope just setting a time will give you a sense of predictability and peace.  Maybe the peace will be contagious and will rub off on Caleb and he'll miraculously start sleeping longer.    I'm really hoping for some nap vibes for you.  I know you could use them.  Here... I'm sending you some of ours!

[*Jo*]

well hes been up since 6.30am and Ive been trying to keep him awake since 11am! its now 11.45, i have no idea how we are gonna make it to 1pm!!

heres what hes been like all morning, so cuddly and tired, he literally nearly falls asleep on me! he keeps whining and moaning and crying

[*Jo*]

So I put him down at 12 and he cried and cried, had to Wi/wo twice then he fell asleep, then he only slept 30mins!!!!!! So I guess I can't do a set naptime yet anyway as he seems sensitive to A times still!!?

[VikO]

Personally, I would persist with set naptimes for at least a week.  My DS is usually awake at 630am is in bed 1230pm and bedtime 7pm.  For the first couple of weeks DS would yawn his head off at 1115 but gave him an early lunch at 1130 and straight to bed.  Now a couple of months in he is yawning around 12noon just as we are sitting down to lunch and he goes to sleep pretty quickly once he's in bed.

I think stretching your LO till 1pm is a push initially.  Maybe stick with 12pm and give lunch first. 
When he wakes after 30 mins can you resettle him, lie him down or WIWO?  Will he tolerate being left for a while so he is at least being in the dark and unstimulated so *maybe* getting some rest if not actually sleeping?

[*Jo*]

weve done Wi/Wo to extend naps for months, it only ever worked about a month ago when we dropped the A time to 4.75 hours and we still had to do wi/wo twice when he would wake at one hour mark.

so i guess its an early bedtime for him tonight again... which of course means the day starts earlier... which means the nap is earlier... etc

[janecharlotte]

Sorry to hear you are still having trouble.

Set naps sounds like the way to go- its one of those thing where you have to stop counting A times and go for it.

At our house we have lunch around 11.30-11.45, then I take DD for a walk if its sunny so she is nice and tired before bed, then we have a 15min wind down (books etc). I'm much looser with her nap time now as she doesn't wake at the same time every day but I remember when we went to a set nap time I was pretty firm with her for the first couple of weeks. And it did take a week or two for her naps to start lengthening.

Good luck

[babybarr]

Jo I agree with the set naps for a week - also with bedtime the same within 30mins.  I would go back to the times that worked before - so 12.30pm nap?  I would only alter bed by 30mins earlier if he short naps.  So did you used to do 7pm or 7.30pm bed?

[*Jo*]

We used to do a 7pm bedtime. Tonight I had him bed at 6pm but he chatted for about 15-20mins before falling asleep so I know he was OT because he never does that and it certainly wasn't UT after a 12 hour day and a 30min nap I'm predicting NWs as per the usual tonight. Ya know we never had NWs until 2 months ago and we've had them ever since. It just baffles me how a BW kid can still be doing this at nearly 2 months. I can't even get him to 12 for a nap at the moment, partly because he's waking earlier than 7am and also because he's just so tired so early!

[VikO]

If it was me I would stick to a set bedtime as well as naptime for a week and see how you go.

If, as you say early bedtimes lead to early mornings, does putting him to bed early help?  If he's up at 6.30 do maybe 12pm or 12.30 for a nap then 6.30 or 7pm bedtime.  If he's going to NW anyway maybe get his bodyclock used to that daytime routine for a while.

I know what you mean about a BW'd kid - it's not what you expect/hope for - but maybe you just hit a growth spurt, a developmental spurt, teething and illness all in a oner (who knows?!) and that has completely thrown him and his internal rhythms.  So maybe now is the time to set a new routine and just stick to it.  It'll be no time before he may not even be wanting a nap anymore anyway so you may as well just find a routine and stick with it so at least both of you know where you stand (although that is maybe a little un-BW!). 

You are reading cues, which I never really mastered, so fair play to you for that but I wonder if they get to an age where you just need to choose a routine and stay with it until they get with the program!!!  Just set his routine (naptime and bedtime) and then work on extending his naps if you think he needs that.  When I went to a set naptime, I couldn't change his bedtime around as his older sibling (3.5yrs) has the same bedtime and there was no way I could juggle dinner/bathtimes/bedtimes to stagger bedtimes and he just got used to it.

As for his naps, does he go nuts when he wakes for his nap?  Have you tried WI/Wo to extend it recently?  Are you able to leave him there to at least continue to rest when he wakes?

[*Jo*]

I stuck to the same naptime today and we got a 1 hour 15 min nap, so naptime was 12pm after a 6.30am wakeup. we did try to extend it with wi/wo but he went nuts so there was no extension, however tonight we are doing a 7pm bedtime instead of the  usual early 630pm to help him.I think you are right, stick to the set naptimes and bedtimes, hes doing NW's anyway (5 of them last night!!!) so i may as well just set his body clock. So what Im wondering is that i stick with 12pm for a bit and then move it to 12.30?? i just think that 12 is too early, yet it seems to be all he can handle for now. its crazy cos 4 months ago his set naptime was 12.30, then it all went haywire and he couldnt handle it anymore!

[~Emma~]

 Our set naptime has ben at 12 for what feels like forever. I somethimes think its a wee bit too early but he seems to cope well with it and nursery do naptime at that time too.

 It does take a good few days for things to get settled with the set naps. For a couple of weeks I was getting anything ranging from 30 mins to 3 hours! now it seems to have settled at the 2hour mark that he wakes. Very frustrating at first but worth it for sure. Some of these LO's just thrive on knowing exactly whats going down and exactly when! 

[VikO]

I second that Emma, we seem to have settled on 90mins as our nap occassionally 2hrs - to begin with they were also anything from 45mins to 3hours! 

I would stick with 12pm then once it's established you can push it back.   With DD1 I started at 1145am then eventually moved it to when I wanted it a couple of months later.

I hope this works for you, keep us posted.

[*Jo*]

ok, last night we put him to bed at 7pm, he chatted for 15/20mins which I dont ahve a problem with, he woke up once in the night and I tucked him in, then he woke up again and was softly moaning.... for an hour!!! I didnt go into him because he wasnt crying but in the end I just went in and tucked him in again becuase the moaning was keeping me awake, he stopped moaning and then we had to wake him at 7am!! so a really good night! so now that we have a 7am wake up should I stick with a 12 naptime or move it to 12.30??

By the way I didnt used any pain meds last night or the night before either. even when I do he still wakes, even though I know hes teething the pain meds dont help

Emma you say your naps are at 12 but what time is Brodie up for the day??