21 month old naps are STILL a mess!!

[*Jo*]

I dont even know where to begin anymore...

he was doing A times of 5.5 for a few months, then we were getting really short naps of 40-60mins so we dropped the A time back to 4hours 45mins and we started getting naps of 1.5 hours again (heaven for us!) then he got sick and things got thrown around a bit, hes better now but teething 2yr old molars and I now have no idea what A time to go with. We are having NW's about 3 a night, some last 1.5 hours. Hes doing naps of 40mins, sometimes we can get him back to sleep for another 30mins, most times we cant.
Today I tried putting him down at 5 hours A time and he was bouncing all around the place (just got back from music) so I got him up and let him just potter around for 10mins, then gave him a drink of milk and we started our naptime routine, two stories, a cuddle and into bed. This time he was ready (or so I thought) all cuddly and tired looking, put him into bed and left. he was quiet for about 5 mins then started moaning.
DH said "Lets do Wi/Wo" and I said no, because hes not doing an "I need you cry" its just moaning/grizzling type of cry. However DH said "hes sitting up, i can tell, he just needs us to go in and lay him down again" and I said "no, he knows how to lay himself down, weve been doing this with him his entire life!" so i let it go on for another 5 mins and DH says "Im going in there, im going to lay him down" so he does and Caleb goes straight to sleep!

I dont get it, was the A time wrong? why does he still need us to lay him down? Also I know hes only going to do a 40-50min nap. how do i get these naps back to being long again?? why is this so difficult for us? Im always posting about this issue!

We go overseas in three weeks to NZ and I dont want to have to deal with this then either, I dont want to be guessing A times and dealing with short naps and wi/wo and three NW's a night in someone elses house. We will be staying with my father in law and he will just go on and on about letting him cry. I dont want to have to deal with that, I just want him to sleep so I dnt have to deal with that

[alethiaperry]

You never get a break, do you?  I have no suggestions... just a (((hug))) 'cause I've seen your posts on here forever and you seem like you need a break- ie: nap time!  sorry.

[Grants]

Why these los can't just sleep?! No words of advice from me either. My lo is forever giving me a hard time too :-(   loads of (((hugs)))

[*Jo*]

thanks, well he slept 1 hour 15mins and was a mess afterwards, just miserable, he definatley needed more sleep but just for us to get even that amount is a success, still, the rest of the day its been crying, tantrums.. he only gets like this when he hasnt had enough sleep... and I dont know how to get it into him. It would be nice if he could say to me "Mamma, i need to be asleep by X Oclock in order to ahve a decent nap!" heres hoping no NW's tonight cos its starting to affect me, Im getting so tired during the day!

[*Jo*]

too late, hes been awake since 9.15pm and its nearly 10pm, hes just not going to sleep. what do you think? OT???

[*Becky*]

Jo, are you giving meds for the molars? I would imagine that is part if not the main reason behind all this.

[deb]

I'm guessing the pain is behind the messed-up sleep and there's a developmental thing, maybe left over from the illness and/or with the pain, where he needs some extra parental attention to help him go off.

[*Jo*]

I've been giving pain relief for so long because of his illness that I hold off till bedtime to give him some more.
Deb if he needs extra help getting back to sleep what do I do? I've been doing just walking in, laying him down, saying "it's timefor sleep" a quick rub on his head and then leaving, I also tried offering him a drink of water and having a quick cuddle on the bed then saying "time for sleep now" put him back under the sheets and leave but he just cries. It's not an I need you cry but if I dont go into him he continues for like 5mins and then gets really upset. I tried rubbing his wee back but he just started looking around so I stopped figuring it wasn't helping him to get back to sleep

[deb]

Maybe Daddy has the magic touch du jour?

Do you have any quiet music for sleeping? Or would that OS him? It's a great sleep cue for Josie, although Nat could go either way.

[Tweakster]

Yeah someone told me the other day to try music, I never have done, we have only used white noise.  Finn is now humming to tunes so I bet some soft music would soothe.  Try it Jo! 

When Finn is so OT he's beside himself, we can't leave him, if we walk in he cries harder and longer, WI/WO makes him go ballistic, he gets so upset that he coughs, chokes, sputters, close to vomiting.  If we go in and give him a cuddle and rock him in the chair, he normally goes to sleep.  There's been one occasion, that 4 hr long NW, where nothing was working.  So for us it's a total exception, not the norm so we can live with it.  It's all phases IMHO.  It MAY be teeth or it could just be that the wind is blowing the wrong way.  Sometimes we just don't know. 

Jo I can't understand either how we all keep ending up back posting about naps and sleep when we've been doing it soo long.  It's maddening.  Bless them that they are cute!

[babybarr]

Jo I would say he's still ill - just my opinion though.

I wonder if you need to push that A time now (if you think he is completely better) - so 5.5hrs A time.

(((hugs))) we also had a very short nap today

[*Jo*]

Well he has a runny nose and keeps sneezing, DH says he thinks its just teething but he was playing with a little boy the other day who had the same thing and today that boy has a sore throat and isnt feeling well. When will Caleb catch a break!!!

anyway, he took till 10.30 to get back to sleep last night, did nothing special just kept walking back in and laying him down, placing the blankets over him. Then he woke at 4am with a loud cry, thought he mightve fallen out of bed but no, went in, lay him back down again, placed blankets over him and he went straight back to sleep till 6.50am

so i will try a 5.5 hour A time today and see how we go for his nap

WEndy, its hot here so we have the fan going in his room so thats his white noise for now

[*Jo*]

1 hour nap yesterday and 1 hour nap today today we did a longer A time. Im so sick of this....

[VikO]

I think our little ones are pretty much the same age and if I was you (and this is totally IMHO and people may well disagree) maybe you can try just sticking to a set naptime for a while (especially with travelling coming and I know how that feels as we travel a lot).  It sounds like you are driving yourself crazy trying to get the perfect timing. 

Your little fella does sound poorly still (I have been following you and see you and he are not cutting much of a break) and I know when my LO is teething or a bit poorly he is much more restless and often needs us to go and lie him down once or twice.  With mine, when he is  sick/teething all bets are off until he is 100% even if that is a month or 2 later.  At these times even if his cry is not full on he just needs the reassurance you are there it can save hours of whining, whinging and restlessness which is better for everyone.  I battled with this recently, didn't want to go back in to him when he was whining and crying as it felt like a huge step back, but I decided if I sometimes have to do that, even up to the age of 5/6, is it really such a big deal?  My DD is such a fantastic sleeper once I BW'd her at 15mths no looking back, but DS is proving different he needs more reassurance from time to time and that's OK.

I know you only want what will make your boy well rested, healthy and happy and I think you need to give yourself a break or his mummy will go doolally!  Maybe you need to do whatever you need to do to get you both through illness and bad teething then start again when he it is all done.

This may not be very constructive and not in a true BW spirit of things but you sound close to the end of the line I just wanted to try to help!  (In maybe giving not very helpful advice! )
Vicki

[*Jo*]

Vicki - I think you are absolutely right! last night when he was having his NW's and all I had to do was go in andtuck him back in I was thinking, well so what if I have to do this for the next few years, its only a quick tuck in, its not hours up every night, yes its broken sleep but you are right, he just wants reassurance that Im there (not that I have ever NOT been there but IKWYM)

I think set naptimes are gonna just have to be it as well. I am driving myself crazy, Im just gonna have to set a time and be happy with whatever nap I get!
Now to find a time thats right.....