Author Topic: 3 year old will not stay in his room  (Read 726 times)

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Offline ndgrad95

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3 year old will not stay in his room
« on: November 09, 2010, 03:13:11 am »
Hi...I'm pretty desperate and hoping you guys can help.  My 3 yo has been sleep trained for quite some time.  He has always been a super easy kid to put down.  He has a regular routine--3 books downstairs, two songs in the rocker and then down in his crib.  Until we moved him into a toddler bed, he never even ATTEMPTED to climb out of his crib. 

About 4 months ago, he started waking a lot in the night with a lot of requests--I need a tissue, I'm thirsty, etc.  I was hesitant to ignore real needs so I was getting up to take care of them.  When it started to interfere with my ability to work, I decided it was time for the toddler bed. 

Then I could put his water next to his be and his tissues there too and he could get them himself.  He seemed to transition to the toddler bed very well.At the end of August, however, he started being more difficult to put down...a lot of dragging his feet to get in his bed, leading to battles of will right before bed.  There was the occasional tiptoeing downstairs after he had been put down but not much and he started coming into our bedroom a lot in the middle of the night.  I tried to be consistent in taking him back to his bed but sometimes would be so tired that I would just let him doze off in our bed. The sleep was miserable!

We started potty training at the end of September and he is dry all day now.  He uses the potty for BM regularly but has recently been showing signs of constipation and being really traumatized by pooping in the potty too.  He goes once every 3 days and then seems to wait for a naptime or bedtime diaper.

I went back to work (after the summer off) 5 weeks ago and it's now completely intolerable.  Every night is a battle at bedtime...we've tried reward charts, consequences (i.e., for each time you get out of your bed, one of your stuffed animals will have to go in the closes) and one night even attempted to shut the door and wait him out (what a horrible experience for everyone...it was my husband who tried it and my son got so upset that he barfed and then would spontaneusly tell us about that incident unprompted for weeks afterward so I know he was traumatized by it).

I'm ready to give up.  My husband and I are drawing straws for who has to put him down every night b/c we both dread it so much and it used to be such a sweet time every night.  We're starting to get short and snappish with each other as well.  I can't afford to be this stressed out right now.

We used Tracy's methods for everything (eating, sleep training, the works) when he was a baby and had such success but I'm at a loss now.  I just don't know what to do. 

I'd greatly appreciate any advice you can provide.   When I read what I've written, it sounds like a total cluster!  I think we've created a mess and I'm not sure how or how to undo it.
Shannon


Offline Tweakster

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Re: 3 year old will not stay in his room
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2010, 19:14:05 pm »
HI there Shannon, I don't have any advice but offering some hugs - it sounds tough.  These kids always going through changes and we never seem to get the memo when things change!  We've had some bedtime battles and the 'drawing straws' resonates with me lol 

Is he still napping or what does his day look like?
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Offline Mama2boys

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Re: 3 year old will not stay in his room
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2010, 19:27:55 pm »
exactly what Wendy said, is he still napping. For us DS ent through this phase as a part of giving up naps. Its was this inbetween time tahts sucked, he was not tired enough to nap but too tired to last a full dya without nap.

We worke dit out slowly by reducing length of naps
9 and 6, oh boy!

Offline ndgrad95

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Re: 3 year old will not stay in his room
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2010, 20:23:34 pm »
Thanks for the support, folks!

As for his schedule, he naps between 1.5 and 2 hours every day (usually from 12:45 to 2:45 at school and 1 to 3 at our house on the weekends).

He usually wakes up between 6:45 and 7 am and used to go to bed at 8pm.  Over the past month, we've started transitioning his bedtime to closer to 9 pm because he wasn't going to sleep well and was getting up closer to 5:45 or 6am.

So today:  Roughly a 7 am wake up, 2 hour nap from 1 to 3 and then bedtime at 9.  Does that sound reasonable?

I'm not sure I CAN phase out the nap right now.  His class still has naptime for 2 hours every afternoon.  We also get absolutely NO push back for sleeping at naptime.  He goes down well and stays down for the full 1.5 to 2 hours.

I'd love to hear your thoughts!