7pm every night he gets a second wind! how do I deal with this?

[*Jo*]

His bedtime is 7.30/7.45pm, however he gets this rush of energy at 7pm every night, no matter what I do to keep things calm! we have no TV the hour before bedtime, sometimes no TV all day, Ive tried reading books, playing quietly, looking at photos, listening to peaceful music etc I even tried the opposite which was playing rough with him thinking he wants to burn off the last of his energy but no.
It makes getting INTO bed impossible with tantrums etc, Its getting harder and harder to carry him to his room as hes throwing a fit because Im pregnant and getting larger and more tired, my patience is wearing thin.

I feel like im playing this stupid game where I suggest all these things "you choose your book, which one do you want, this one or that one," which ends up getting to the stage of "If you dont choose your book, Im choosing it for you" right down to "If you dont get into bed right now, I will put you into bed which means NO story, lights out and Im closing the door!" which is whats happened tonight.

Im not putting his bedtime later because he is asleep at the above times, it just takes a struggle to get him there. and once asleep he sleeps 11-11.5 hours, we have no issues with naps AT ALL so this is obviously the sleep he needs, anything less and I have a miserable little boy.

So what do I do with this horrid rush of energy at 7pm? how do i get bedtime easier? I know Ive posted about this before but that was with the issue of him coming out of his room 3 or more times a night before finally falling asleep. That seems to have stopped, or at least only gotten down to once only when it does happen (and for some strange reason he tells me hes done poos, and he hasnt at all)

I start dreading things at 6.45pm just waiting for this second wind to hit

[babybarr]

(((Hugs)))) Jo

Have you tried a 6.45pm bedtime instead?  Not ideal but may help avoid the meltdown perhaps?

If not I would perhaps decide how you want bedtime to work i.e. one book - which you choose, one cuddle, one kiss, into bed lights out.  Keep it short and keep it simple.  Tell him before and stick to it for a week.  If he starts kicking off just remind him "It's one book now are you going to sit and read or not?" be firm and just keeping reminding him of "the routine"

[*Jo*]

do you mean starting bedtime routine at 6.45pm or actually asleep at 6.45pm? I doubt that would work well as anything before 7.30 means hes up and down till his normal sleeptime at 7.30

[~inbalance~]

Does he get this rush of energy but still go to bed at his proper bedtime?  Because we get this too, and I think it's totally normal.  It drives me nuts, but he still goes to bed at his scheduled bedtime no problem and sleeps fine, so I don't bother trying to change anything about it.  He's just being a toddler.  Sometimes I get frustrated but DH just tells me to relax, he's not hurting anyone and he's still sleeping fine. 

Also, does it happen after bathtime, because I think bath can be very stimulating for toddlers, in which case you might want to try making bathtime at another time during the day.

[*Jo*]

yeah he still goes to bed at the proper time, its just such an exhausting struggle to get there. Ive tried relaxing about it but he fluffs around even more, Im just constantly saying "get into bed" or "lie down, lets read the story" or whatever part of the routine hes not doing. all this while hes running around the room in a circle or throwing himself on the bed and then running back to the door and then running back to throwing himself on teh bed again, having a grand old time.

Bathtime is over at least an hour before bedtime or its chaos

[~inbalance~]

Yep, that EXACTLY what it's like here too.  I swear T is more exhausting in that last hour before bed than at any other time of the day. 

[deb]

How about bathtime in the morning?

[*Jo*]

nope, makes no difference, tried that as well maybe wind down is too long? I aim to start at 7pm and we do this:

nappy on
brush teeth,
say goodnight to Grandad (if hes home)
go to bedroom to choose one story (he has two stories, one is his favourite so thats the second book, this process can drag on here, I give him two to choose from, he cant decide or he changes his mind and wants the other one, I sometimes end up just choosing it myself)
get him into the bed (I usually end up just putting him into the bed myself here)
read the two stories
sometimes we talk about the day if time permits
say quick prayer and cuddles
light off, goodnight

thats not alot right?

[babybarr]

Sounds like a similar wind down to ours...

Do you have the lights down low?

[Tweakster]

I think it's age and temperament really.  We have exactly the same.  I know you don't want to but we have moved bedtime out and instead of 45 or 30 mins of shenanigans we only have 15 or 20 now :-)  Starting routine before he's even tired enough to go to sleep means lots of stalling and resistance.  Now we ask him 'would you like to go to bed Finn' when we see him giving some signs and he says yes and that's when we know that he's ready for the routine.  It's very short though, upstairs and into jammies with new diaper (this is one swift motion), to bathroom to brush teeth, wash face and hands and nose spray, back into his room to go to bed - we normally let him choose two guests for his bed and then put on his mobile that plays Twinkle Twinkle and then say goodnight to Mr. Sunshine (Gro-clock).  We don't do books and stories because it's too stimulating for him.  Maybe when he's older.  What I try to do now is come straight home from daycare and we 'read' two books and then I say 'mommy is going to make dinner' and then he self-entertains while I do this - mostly lol  He's never one to be alone for long!

And we only do bath 2x per week for similar reason.

[~inbalance~]

I do think it's normal for the age, and as long as he is sleeping fine then is only really exhausting for mummy.  We pretty much let T be silly right up until bedtime.  We don't do books at the moment either.  Then it's toothbrushing and up to bed he goes.  Works for us.

[Tweakster]

I just remembered that you can use a picture story for the routine, like Laura says you have a routine that includes 1 book only which is selected either by you or by him well in advance - like in the morning.  Or whatever. You put the steps on a chart with pictures (cut from magazines or internet or handdrawn or whatever you have to do).

So step one is into new nappy, step 2 is teethbrushing, step 3 is goodnight to grandad, etc.

'When mommy says it's bedtime this is what we do' then show him xyz on the chart (hang it on the fridge or on his bedroom door or just carry it around as you go through the routine) - he can't argue with a chart.  Use your timer and be firm about the steps and how long you spend on each step.  So if he is faffing around and the time for books runs out - the timer goes 'ding!', then there isn't a book tonight because we are on to step 4 or whatever which is into bed with cuddles and a kiss.  Something along those lines.  He's old enough now to really get this concept.

If you have to continually tell him to lie down to read a book then he's clearly not in a read a book kind of place.  So just skip it.  Choose another time of the day and make that your story time.  Like before nap if he's amenable or even immediately after dinner before he hits his second wind.

[*Jo*]

Picture story of routine sounds perfect!!! now to go and buy some magazines as Im a shocking drawer adn have no printer lol

I like this plan!!!

[*Jo*]

what do you think of this one ladies? its a rough one I made up, I made a few mistakes, put the PJ's on after play instead of bath but I will make a better one later

[babybarr]

I *love* it!!

Here's hoping it helps!

I think Wendy is right, if he's just not in a story mood then there's kinda no point pushing it I guess.