Help!!! Toddler has nightmarish routine

[zillionpieces]

Hi I'm new here.  A friend gave me the link to the site.

I don't know what to do with my toddler's nightly nightmarish routine.     

This is his nightly routine:
He goes in his bedroom and turns his nightlight on.  It projects an image on the ceiling and plays a little tune.  Since he will not go to bed by himself (he'd rather having a screaming tantrum and make himself puke than go to bed by himself)....I have to lay with him on the regular bed.  He listens to the music, while goofing.  Goofing usually includes trying to roll over, trying to stand up, throwing his stuffed animal, and trying to slap me or bite me.  The music plays for about 3 minutes then shuts off.  The image projection stays for about 5 minutes.  When the light starts getting dull, I put him in his bed.  Tell him "Good night." a few times, and leave closing the door behind me.  Within 2 minutes of the door closing, he starts screaming.  Then I gotta go back in, and lay with him again (this time without the nightlight), when he's calm again back in the bed he goes.  "Good night", and out of the room.  Screaming fit....and repeat about 2-3 times.  This his dad will go in and pick him up and hug him.  Tell him "Good night", then a hysterical screaming fit starts.  I end up having to calm him down, and lay back down with him until he's mellow again, and put him back in his bed.  Tell him "good night", and leave.  He'll gab for a bit, then fall asleep on his own.

Before he starts his nightly routine, he has quiet time.  He sits with either his dad or myself, and watches reruns of Bear in the Big Blue House.

I've tried letting him cry it out a little bit, but he has a big hysterical screaming fit and ends up puking.  I've tried to lay him down and walk out of the room like on Super Nanny, but that just ends in a hysterical screaming fit with a puking session.  I've tried to keep him up later, and then putting him to bed.....results are the same. 

Help!!!

[*Becky*]

Hi there,
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. Tracey Hogg, the Baby Whisperer did not advocate any form of CIO or CC as she believed it broke the trust between adult and child so we cannot help with that method of sleep training. Let's see if we can help you get back on track.

It would be very helpful if you could post the daily routine with timings so we can see what time lo wakes up, naps and goes to bed. It may be there is some OT or UT there which we can try and fix.

I also need to know his age and whether he is teething at the moment or if there have been any changes recently i.e. holidays, moving etc.

Hang in there - I am sure we can help

Becky x

[zillionpieces]

He's almost 17 months.  He is getting some molars in, tops and bottoms on both sides.  There's been nothing new, as far as interruptions in the house.    The only disruption he had was a 2-day hospital stay for the Croup, but I was with him the entire time he was in the hospital.  He was an angel while he was in the hospital!  No fussing, and no troubles to get to sleep!

His daily routine is pretty much the same.
wakes up at 7am and has breakfast.  Play time. Light snack and drink at 9am.  Play time. Lunch between 11:30 and noon.  Nap between noon and 1pm.  He sleeps anywhere from 1.5 to 2.5 hours.  Wakes up and has another snack and drink.  Play time.  Supper is at 6pm.  Play time.  Quiet time  at 7:30pm.  Bed at 8pm. 

Sometimes he wakes up during the night, for a diaper change and hug.  He'll go back to sleep without any fussing. 

[fireredjewel]

Hi there,
tough going!! (((hugs)).
My DD is 17 months old... has almost EXACTLY the same routine. (wake at 7, nap at 12.20-30 ish, sleeps for 2.5hrs, bed at 7.15ish) Have you considered moving his bedtime earlier/making the nap go for a bit longer (as if you can force them at this age ;-) but maybe putting him down for his nap a fraction earlier might help?). It seems he could be a bit OT (overtired), just losing the plot because he's too exhausted.
i also wonder if the tv before bedtime might be a bit overstimulating? Our DD gets REALLY wound up if she watches TV within a couple of hours before bed - her routine is bath, read, cuddles, bed. you could also try 'putting' teddies etc to bed... does he have a special cuddle toy to snuggle with?
HTH :-)

[*Becky*]

I agree with pp about the TV and it might be worth trying a slightly earlier nap/bedtime to see if it is OT that has built up. The teeth are likely to be causing some issues too. Have you tried medicine half an hour before bedtime?