14 mo night waking...I need to start over

[Twolilbeans]

My 14 month old has never been a good sleeper at night. He does great during his nap, but night time is always a nightmare and now that I have a new baby (2 weeks old) I have to get him into some kind of night routine that sticks. Right now we are rocking him in the chair next to his crib while feeding him an 8 oz bottle before he sleeps (nap or bedtime). He is still awake when he's put into his crib and will fall asleep on his own quite well. The problem is his 2 am wake to have a bottle, a habit I've created by accident. He used to wake up twice, but I weaned him off the first bottle. I tried to wean him off the second bottle, but that resulted in him waking up at 5 am so I gave up and decided waking up at 2 am for 30 mins to feed him was a lot easier on me than waking up for the day at 5 am. So far his schedule is this...

morning wake 8 am
nap 12:30 pm (sleeps until 2:30 or 3:30)
bedtime between 8 and 9
early am wake 2 am

He is eating solids well now and I know he doesn't need that night bottle because some nights he'll sleep right through it. He's teething right now and has 2 of 4 molars that are almost all the way through, the other two are just starting to come through. He's also getting over having an ear infection and has had a hard time getting used to having his baby sister around. His 2 am night wake has gone from just waking up for a bottle to waking up, having a bottle then taking up to two hours to put back down. He just cries and cries when we put him in his crib and my husband has to rock him to sleep before putting him back down. We are in a one bedroom studio so he shares a room with my husband and I, if he wakes up and stands up in his crib the only way to get him back to sleep is to rock him until he's asleep. We're moving into a bigger home in June so everyone will have their own room. I'd like to get him to stop his 2 am night wake/feed if possible as well as get him to sleep without his bottles. My husband has to wake up at 4 am for a 10 hour work day so having to wake up with my son is really stressing him out. I can't really help him at night because I'm busy with the newborn. Any advice would be great!

[sianie]

Hi!

Congrats on your new arrival! 

You are all going through a huge period of adjustment ATM so firstly, go easy on yourself.....life with a toddler & newborn can be very tiring (BTDT  !).

Has your DS ever been an independent sleeper or has he always been rocked/fed to sleep?

I would definitely wait until he's feeling better before starting any kind of sleep training + molars can also mess up sleep quite badly (also going through this with DS currently!). Have you tried doing a dream feed of meds in the early hours to help with teething? I've found this has really helped my DS....

Unfortunately, when a LO is prop dependent to fall asleep, there is no quick way to resolve it, but I appreciate with a newborn that's not what you want to hear!

The issue you have is that you are all sleeping in 1 room....I was going to suggest GW (Gradual Withdrawal) but this wouldn't really work in your situation (I guess also your new LO is in with you too?)......will have a think about what else you can do & I'll be back a bit later....

[Twolilbeans]

Ethan is in our room and Sophie is in the living room. It really doesn't seem like we're all in the same room tbh because our studio is really big and open/spacious. We will be moving in June so soone enouth Ethan will have his own room. Ethan has always been rocked, but I wouldn't say we rock him to sleep, he's rocked for a few minutes then put to bed while he's still awake and is able to fall asleep fine on his own. He has been put to bed without being rocked and will fall asleep great, it's the before nap and before bed bottle that we have problems with. It just happens that we hold him in the rocking chair while we feed him a bottle, then we place him in his crib while he's still awake. The only exception to this is when he wakes up at 2 am and won't fall asleep after placing him in his crib. He has been standing up and throwing quite a fit, our only way to get him back to sleep (the only way we've tried because it worked and we're exhausted because of the newborn) is to rock him to sleep before putting him in the crib.

[sianie]

I guess you have a couple of options:

1/ Wait until you move house to sleep train as you might find sleep goes wonky again with the move.

2/ If you feel you can manage it ATM then I would suggest you use GW to help him. With DS if he wakes in the night I wait until it gets to a 'I need you Mum' cry then go in...if he's standing up I'll lie him back down & tell him it's time to go to sleep if he doesn't settle I'll pat or rub his back until he calms down then leave the room when he settles.

As long as he is still awake when you put him in his cot then rocking him is ok as long as you want to do it as he's still falling asleep independently. I wouldn't worry too much about the before bed bottle, my DS who's also 14 mths old still has a bedtime bottle but then goes down still awake.

How much milk does he have before his nap & at 2am? You have a couple of choices with getting rid of it; either go cold turkey & drop the bottle or gradually reduce the amount of milk your giving at these feeds.

You will need to be prepared to have a few tough days to get him sleeping independently & I'm conscious you have a lot on your plate with your new LO...the link below might help you...

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

What do you think?

[Twolilbeans]

I think you're right about the tough days ahead lol. I like the gradual method as it really sounds like the only thing that will work for me at the moment. I actually thought about starting fresh in the new house, I figured everything will be new to him anyway which might help with starting a new routine and stopping his 2 am feed. It might be enough distraction that he just doesnt wake for it.

When he wakes at 2 am he always takes an 8 oz bottle. I'll gradually decrease that and see if he can handle it. I don't want him to start waking at 5 am again...that was not fun at all. I was hoping by this time he'd just grow out of it, but since I'm the one that created the habit I'm assuming I'm going to be the one to have to break it.

[sianie]

Totally up to you what you want to do.....you have a lot on your plate so I guess think about what you can reasonably handle......here to help you 'tho!