Working on naps extending - need advice on ssh-pat

[mianita]

Hello!
My LO is on EASY just for 1 week, but we have huge progress. From 30 min naps she moved to 1,5-2 hour naps. But almos every time I have to help her through transition. She wakes between 30-45 min and usually I wait if she will settle herself back to sleep, but this never happens. She is not crying, but grunting and rubbing her eyes (she is in aussie swaddle). She is 4 mo and on 3.5 EASY. Very often she goes to sleep within seconds beeing in crib, sometimes i help her little bit with shh-pat.
I have a question regarding this help through transition stage. Usually I stay with her all 20-30 min untill she is in a deep sleep and when she moves I shh-pat, I don't wait until she cries as it is very difficult to setlle her then. is this OK? will this become a prop and is it a problem? Should I wait until she cries? This can take long time, she will be grunting and moaning for long time and then finally escalate. For now shh-pat works for us like a prop I suppose...
Any ideas?
Thanks!

[Mia's Mommy]

We're struggling through short naps as well, and I agree, the longer I wait to go into her room to ssh/pat or PU/PD, the harder it is for her to settle back down. I try to give her a few mins to settle herself but the crying just escalates and escalates. So now I try to get into her room and help her settle before the crying gets out of control, BUT I think rushing in doesn't help either in the long run...

I started to W2S, and it has occasionally worked. Usually just one nap out of the day, she can get a long nap in. Sometimes though, it doesn't work at all. Maybe you can try that...?

Let us know how it goes...

[mianita]

I tried W2S couple of times, but it didn't extend her naps too much... I'll try to do this for a week at least to see if it works. the tricky thing for me is to catch the right time as she wakes up sometimes in 30 min, sometimes in 45... So should I do it after 25 min she is asleep?
For example now I placed her to crib 10 min before her S time, she was talking to herself, grunting, trying to settle down for those 10 min and then I understood that now she will start to be really fussy and I went in and did ssh-pat, she was asleep in seconds. I'm not sure that this is correct to use it like this, but it so works! 

It's just 1,5 weeks ago i couldn't even dream about her sleeping in her crib, she slept in her bouncer not more that 30 min in a row (and before that only in sling or with a breat in her mouth and was rocked to sleep), so I'm already soooo happy  But I don't want to make more mistakes to make her more frustated later, that's why I worry...

[Mia's Mommy]

I'm a first time mum and learning the ropes myself, I worry all the time too!!! But DD is growing beautifully and hubby reminds me all the time, that we're doing a great job. It's so nice that he's so supportive.

About W2S... I read that finding the right moment to W2S is key. For Mia, 25 mins seems too soon, and 30 mins is too late. So now I time 27 mins. I tried it on the first nap today but it didn't work. So when she woke up I ssh/pat and she went back to sleep for another 45 mins. It's not always that easy for us. Sometimes I get so tired of sshing, I end up APing her back to sleep, or worse, I get her out of her crib and have awake time before her next feeding. Also, I find that she's such in a deep sleep that rocking her or rubbing her chest doesn't work. Sometimes I have to say/whisper her name and then she stirs. Hubby finds that he can rub her chest in a circular motion to stir her, I just haven't been able to do that.

What I'm trying to accept is, every baby is different and there is never a clear answer of why she does the things she does and how to correct them. Being a mommy is the toughest job ever! But very rewarding too!

[mianita]

Absolutely agree!! I'm also first time mom and sometimes it is absolutely frustrating...
But I'm absolutely sure that every mom knows what is better for her baby.
I had so many things going on with my little Maya since the beginning, she hated all her cribs and we ended up co-sleeping. Now we have such a progress! and just in 2 weeks! she has her naps in crib (today is first day actually, before she had her bouncer inside the crib), which for me is an absolute WOW! 
still out EASY is not perfect, but I really don't care too much as soon as she is a happy baby.

Sometimes when she is settling down she is not crying, but screaming very very loud, I still can't understand if it is a cry and she needs me or she is settling down herself... there are no tears, just awful screaming...

I'll be looking for right time for W2S, this still sounds like something from other planet though 

[Shiv52]

First wow on your progress so far!!!!  Well done you!!  And your LO of course!!

For example now I placed her to crib 10 min before her S time, she was talking to herself, grunting, trying to settle down for those 10 min and then I understood that now she will start to be really fussy and I went in and did ssh-pat, she was asleep in seconds. I'm not sure that this is correct to use it like this, but it so works!

I tended to ssh-pat until asleep and then gradually reduce down the amount of time ssh-patting until she was falling asleep more and more independently.  I would be afraid that by trying to let her settle and then having to go in and settle her she may just wait on you coming in if that makes sense.  As opposed to being there, getting her drowsy then letting her do the rest herself. 


But if its working! 

You know your baby best!! 

[Mia's Mommy]

That is awesome progress!!! Good for you!!! Keep your head up, cause it sounds like you're doing a great job. What I keep on hearing is being consistent with whatever you're doing is key.

Also, just an FYI...

I tried W2S twice today and neither times worked. So when Mia woke up at the usual 40-45 min mark, I went in and ssh/pat. Mia is swaddled so I don't really pat her. I simply lay my hand on her chest. I ssh to match her intensity. Also for us, I don't continue to ssh 5-10 mins after she first closes her eyes like some would suggest. I just wait for her to close her eyes and look serene, and walk away. Thankfully, Mia is able to get thru the jolts on her own. So bad news is, W2S didn't work yet today, but my version of ssh/pat did for both naps. She has slept 1.5 hr for first nap, and 1.75 hr for 2nd nap.

Also I have to remember, that we'll have good days and bad. Just do my best and Mia will be happy.

[Shiv52]

That is how I extended originally!  I went in the second she stirred and resettled.  After a few weeks of doing that i then did w2s and it worked well.  Took about a week or so for her to start them making it through the sleep cycles on her own.

[mianita]

Well, let's see if this can be our case too! Today I tried w2s several times, but it didn't work, so I continue ssh-pat. When I first put her down she usually doesn't need too much shh-pat, so I usually do this in case she really can't settle herself. But after 30-45 wake I'm doing it untill I see that she is almost at deep sleep. I usually shh-pat only when she is moving and the second she stops, I stop too.
The interesting thing is that her settle time is usually grows how the day progresses. So for the evening nap usually we need much more of shh-pat than for the morning one.
My ssh-pat is very gentle, sometimes just with two fingers on her chest. And shh is rythmical ssh-ssh-ssh However I think that it is so much easier than rocking to sleep, so it doesn't bother me too much. Hopefully I will be able to wean her later.
I also think that I have to take away evening nap (4th) and start increasing her A time to 2hrs. She just hates last nap and spends more time on settling than on napping (usually just 20 min). So I think I have to change our routine to 3 naps.

[Shiv52]

My ssh-pat is very gentle, sometimes just with two fingers on her chest. And shh is rythmical ssh-ssh-ssh ) However I think that it is so much easier than rocking to sleep, so it doesn't bother me too much. Hopefully I will be able to wean her later.

SOunds like you have it worked out well to suit your LO.  I remember the relief of not having to rock to sleep that I didn't mind the ssh-patting!  I was able to wean it though eventually. 

How many weeks is your LO now?

[mianita]

She is 17 weeks old. Everything was going on really good!
But yesterday night her BT was a nightmare ((( she couldn't settle down and became hysterical, nothing helped and I had to do PUPD... For almost 1 hour. then she woke up in 1 hour again hysterical and then one more time, I fed her around 10pm. and next time she woke up at 11 pm I took her to my bed as we cosleep at night (this is how I like it and plan to do until I wean BF).She usually sleeps around 8pm, then wakes up at 10.30pm and goes to my bed. It was sooo hard yeaterday. I have to do something with our routiine as it seems she becomes veeery OT...
I'm already nervous about today naps... I hope she will manage better and hope she doesn;t hate her crib again )))