16mo was fine at BT, now standing up in cot and crying

[natashakate]

Hello,

My DD was sleeping really well at bedtime and naps until recently - she is finding it difficult to settle herself. Our bedtime routine involves quick bath, pj's and then a 5 minute cuddle sat in her bedroom with some soothing music. It's worked reallly well up until this last few weeks.

She seems to be 'fighting' the cuddle more and more so we have started putting her in her cot and standing next to her whilst the music is on and leaving when it's finished. She is sometimes fine but more often than not she seems to cry and immediately stand up in her cot. We ask her to lie down and tell her it's sleep time but she doesn't do it. If we lie her down she gets straight back up again and starts screaming (because she's cross). We have down WI/WO and it has worked acouple of times, but otherwise having us in the room when we're not picking her up makes her more angry - so we've taken to standing outside the room for upto 10 mins (or until she sounds distressed) and then going in and resettling her. Once she's asleep she is generally fine, though tonight she's woken up a few times and had a whinge.

Not sure what to do about the standing up? She has three teeth coming through v.v. slowly which I don't think helps. I am still breastfeeding her (morning on waking and about an hour before bed), she has not wanted milk at naptime or bedtime for ages now but she has recently started to try to pull my tops up/down and getting v. frustrated when she doesn't get it. I don't want to be overly strict if she needs more reassurance at the moment but I also don't want to slip back into bad habits such as feeding to get to sleep.

ALL advice much appreciated.

Many thanks,

Natasha.

p.s. she sleeps for about 2 hours in the day (one nap) and about 10-11 hours at night (usually 7.30-5.30/6ish) 

[~*Nicole*~]

I'd say she may be more tired than usual b/c of the teething and trying for an earlier bedtime might help temporarily. Also are you medicating before bed? That may help a lot.

I wouldn't bother laying her down. She KNOWS how to get back down and can do so herself. So long as she is napping well and eating well and you're sure her teeth aren't bothering her, you can probably stick with WI/WO only. Just keep coming back in when she sounds distressed, using a key sleep phrase and leaving again. Just repeat, repeat, repeat until she falls asleep. She will lay herself down to fall asleep when she's tired and realizes that it IS bedtime and that mommy or daddy are THERE but not going to take her out of bed or anything and that she is in charge of going to sleep on her own as she already knows how to do.

BUT if she really is teething and they are bothering her a lot.....I'd hold off on the WI/WO and try the earlier bedtimes and a longer more slowed down winddown with a story or a song and maybe a back rub.....whatever you need to do to get through the discomfort and then resume with WI/WO if need be AFTER the teething episode.

Also, not sure what time her nap is, but at 16 months we had just switched to one nap for most days and we occasionally had to go back to two naps. We also had to do early bedtimes on one nap days as our nap was somewhat early at first to compensate for her not being used to only one nap and getting pretty tired during the day. It took awhile to be totally on one nap as one wasn't quite enough but two was really too much and it was like riding a fence until we made it to the other side. So I remember 16 months being a tough age for sleep and I would suspect that if your nap is at noon or earlier and so ending around 2....then bedtime needs to be earlier....esp. with that earlier wake up time of 5:30. I'd def. try for a 6ish bedtime for a bit and see if it helps.

[natashakate]

Thank you so much for your advice - yes, we will definitely try the earlier bedtimes. Most days she has a nap around noon until about two, but yesterday, for example, she was so tired by 10am that we had to put her down then and she did 10.30-12.30pm and then nothing all afternoon. We had expected to see signs of tiredness but she seemed fine all afternoon and was actually more lively at bathtime than she has been in ages - looking back and following what you justsaid aboutmaybe needing another nap, she was probably OT and therefore somewhat hyperactive and that's why she struggled to transition into deep sleep.

We have been giving her paracetamol most nights when we think her teeth are bothering her and trying to hold off when we think she's ok. Aside from a bit of pain and a bit more dribbling and hand-chomping they don't seem to be unduly affecting her, so think we'll try the earlier BT and WI/WO and see how it goes.

Thanks for your help, much appreciated. What youo said makes perfect sense - it can just be a little hard to see it when you're stood there with a screaming baby!!

Best wishes,

Natasha x

[~*Nicole*~]

it can just be a little hard to see it when you're stood there with a screaming baby!!

and don't I know it!!!!!!

I bet you're right. She was probably very lively at bath time b/c she was doing the overtired hyper thing! Lots of LOs do this and often confuse their parents. My DD does the same. If she's zipping around the bedroom and running and jumping and laughing....I've probably missed her window and she's gotten herself into an OT hyper state! Yikes!