19 mth old refusing every spoon of her meal - should I keep trying?

[lokloktang]

Hi there, I have a 19 month old, she’s never been fond of eating but would still finish her meal (sometimes need some distraction and kisses). Recently, she’s been refusing her meals even the first spoon. She starts to get angry as soon as I place the bib on her.

But when she sees anyone else eats she always fights for a bit. And when she eats our stuff, she wants us to eat too just to ensure that those are not baby food.

I was too tired to battle with her every meal that sometimes I take the easy way out by showing her photos/videos on my phone (distract her and shuffle into the mouth), or let her out of the hair chair and chase her behind. I am afraid that this will become a bad habit.  She usually eats better when she is at my parents’ place and when I’m not feeding her. But lately, that has also gone downstream.

I am not sure how much “playing” I should do with her to get her to eat, or should I just leave her in the high chair, or stop trying? I know no kids will let themselves starve, but should I stop as soon as she refused?  She is not fat to begin with and I’m afraid that she’ll reduce her appetite if I don’t “keep it up”.  I would share with her my dinner except she can only eat very little as she’s still not very good at chewing, she ends up sucking all the juice from the food and leave the solids in her mouth.

[Lolly]

To be honest, at her age if she is looking for the same food you are having then I would give it to her! At 19 months she is able to eat family foods (watch for salt and too much sugar and if there are food allergies in the family) and she will learn to chew properly much more quickly if you let her feed herself!

My DD is just about to turn 2 and she has eaten the same food as the rest of the family for the last year at least. We started finger foods at 6 months when we started solids so she feeds herself with fingers and a fork and spoon. We have issues with bibs now too, she refuses to wear one so I have given up and invested in stain removers - it's not worth the battle!

We all eat together when we can, but DD gets her dinner on a plate like the rest of us and she feeds herself. If she is messing around I will try and spoon feed her a bit but she very rarely lets me any more so if she doesn't want to eat then that's up to her. Once everyone has finished we get her down from her high chair too. She still has a bedtime milk drink so she doesn't go to bed on a totally empty tummy, although if she doesn't want dinner she often doesn't want the milk either.

What do you think?

Laura

[lokloktang]

I tried to let her feed herself and since then her eating had been
Worse.. I guess I'll have to persist. Do u find that your DD ate alot less since she self feeds?

[Tweakster]

Hi there, I think we often overestimate how much these kids actually need to eat.  They have very very small tummies and don't need a lot to keep going.  And no, she won't starve at all.

I agree with Laura that you should consider moving her to more solid food so she learns how to manage it.  Let her do the spoon herself or give her some finger foods, they really want their own independence at this age.  It's all about practice.

Try not to turn it into a power struggle or battle, keep mealtimes fun and light and make food and eating enjoyable, a family event.

[Mrswu]

My 19month old has also started taking off his bib!  I think this is a stage.

[AngelaF]

I wouldn't chase or play games. Like you said, you dont' want to get in a habit. Like others said, these little stinkers won't go hungry. We have similar issues with my 15 month old and it's a lot of offering what I think he might like until I land on what he actually likes that day! But, if he insists on not eating, I go with that and he usually makes up for it in a later meal. Good luck!

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Ladies,

Thank you, I found this thread very helpfull. DS is 16 months old this week and we're having the same battle. He doesn't want his hot food anymore, not from the bowl anyway, he screams and shakes his head as soon as I start towards him holding it. Also he's refusing his yoghurts which I know he loves! But TBH sometimes if I manage to sneak a bit in, then he licks his lips and remembers how yummy it is  . I have tried him with approx 25 different foods this week and occasionally we hit the target like with corned beef of all things. Anyway I'm going to stop stressing and remember he won't starve. Thanks again.x.