Naps getting worse...

[bongabees]

HI, (I posted on the EASY board about general routine problems, but now the naps are becoming the killer I thought I would ask on here more specifically...)

Context: LO is 9 weeks old. We have been using the EASY routine since week 2 and have worked hard to get more of a pattern, although LO really has started to fight going to sleep since week 4. We have just moved to another country from the UK now in hotter climate (although not too hot the last two days) and using different formula, different water, we have the stress of settling into new home, the long journey here, and he had his jabs on MOnday etc etc, so I realise these all may have an impact on LO. HOwever, if you can help, please suggest away!

SO, our last few days the naps have all been getting shorter and shorter and the time he cries before hand longer and longer... he wakes 30-45 mins into each nap, and takes a lot of resettling although today no resettling has helped. He refuses to sleep in his cot (new for him here) so we have resorted to the buggy, the carrier, or rocking him to sleep then putting him down. Sh/p used to work so did the dummy, and we have always swaddled him, but he refuses all these things now. We even tried CIO today as a last resort cos nothing was calming him anyway, but it broke my heart after 1.5 hours of trying to settle him so I nursed him to sleep.

I am at my wits end! He is SO overtired I just can't see how we can break the cycle without constantly rocking or carrying him. And I am worried we have already created props that he won't go to sleep without. HELP! We have also been struggling with EWs so have to try to resettle from about 4.30 am, which doesn't seem to work either.

Today was as follows:

E 1.30 am NW
S 2.00 - 5ish
A Resettling with paci
E 6.00
A No A time as LO fell asleep nursing, so treated as NW
S 7-7.45
E DH Stalled til 8.15 with A time (not sure this was good thing)
A 9.00 - 9.30 Wind down in buggy, chilling out on walk.
S 9.30-10.00 Tried to resettle, no luck
E 11.30
A 12.00 Wind down: Short nap before, so no A time really sleepy baby. Wind down, dark room etc. Refused to sleep in cot, lots of sh/p etc. In the end used carrier just to get a short 45 min nap. Put down once asleep.
S 1.45 - 2.30
E 2.30
A Meltdown as soon as finished feed! Put down, tried CIO. Cried for 1.5 hrs. Nursed to sleep in the end.
S 4.50 to now - currently 6.20pm and in dilemma as to whether to wake him or not. He has totally crashed but normally bedtime is 7pm with a feed at 6pm and bath.

HELP!!!

[~Karen~]

Hi and sorry you've been having a rough time but wow, leaving a 9 week old CIO for 1.5 hours???  Yes he sounds v. OT and all I'd do for now would be to get him on top of sleep.  Personally I'd just let him sleep on me or in a sling for now to get him caught up and then work on sleep training at a later stage.  He's had a lot going on right now and he needs his Mummy there for him! 

[bongabees]

I know I only let him CIO (with plent of resettling attempts) because nothing else was working and I figured I would give it a try and see!! I felt terrible! It broke my heart
Thanks for the advice... I came to the same conclusion but it's good to hear that's OK to do. I am so worried about creating bad habits/props.

[Lolly]

If I'm reading your routine right it looks like your A times are way too long for a tiny baby which will be why you aren't able to settle him and he is short napping.

At 9 weeks his A time will be up to about 1 hr 20 mins, but think of it as awake time - so eyes open to eyes shut time which includes nappy changing and feeding. After a short nap the awake time needs to be even shorter. For example at the start of the day you posted he was awake at 7.45, so really he needed to be back asleep by about 9am, it's not uncommon for babies to need a slightly shorter A time at the start of the day too. I agree about doing what you can for a few days to get him to catch up on OT and then start again.

Have a look here http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164027.0 for some examples of routines which should help you.

How are feeds going? How much is he taking at a feed now?

Laura

[~Karen~]

I am so worried about creating bad habits/props.

I can totally understand that but you'll cause a lot more problems by CIO!  Tbh with all that's been going on he's probably going to be all over the place for a while.  And also, from experience, you can have them sleeping independently and then they get sick or are teething and you end up being back to stage one anyway!  Or another thing I'd suggest doing is getting him to go down independently (if you can) and then APOP to get him back to sleep as at least that way he'll be doing some independent sleeping but still hopefully be getting enough sleep.

Just remember though that's he only a tiny baby at 9 weeks old and if he's in a new room and left crying probably feels totally abandoned.  I'm totally here to support you though and hope I can help you through this period.

Lots of hugs and hope things settle down for you/him soon 

[ZacsMumme]

awww big hugs hun!It is hard work when they are so little and cant sleep.

Good for you on coming here to get help, this forum is just wonderful for support and help. It is great you have abandoned CIO, it may seem like a quick fix, but all it does is teach them that when they cry (because they need something) their mum doesn't come and they feel scared and alone. Your LO needs you more than ever at this age, and don't feel bad by going to soothe him, a newborn can't really be spoiled and when he has caught up on his OT sleep you can teach him how to sleep on his own gently.

[bongabees]

Thank you all, I felt today went better as we just let him go to sleep in the buggy and the sling (which are also more upright and he seems to like it more so I wonder if it helps his very windy tummy) and trying very hard to have less A time - basically I feed him, change him, give him some play time (like 5 mins IF he is not showing any tired cues) and then wind down for 5 mins til sleepy/calm. I can't seem to turn him around in any less time the an hour if I am BF though (I am alternating breast and bottle).
He was less cranky today and I managed to resettle him after waking a few times for one 1.5 hour nap, but the rest of the naps were only 30-45 mins still.

.

[~Karen~]

That's a great start though so well done! 

[ZacsMumme]

Great work! Have you done the http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52283.0 this may help you to identify good settling tips wind downs etc for your LO personality. It helped me a lot to understand my LO too and how best to respond to him as he got older.

[bongabees]

Thanks, so day 2 of the tweaks looked better... We had a bad start like everyday only a 45 min nap, but then a 2 hr, 1.5hr and I caught him at the right time and he was headed for a final good nap until he was suddenly awoken 15 minutes into his last afternoon nap and meltdown happened! The carrier calmed him for a bit but nothing else. In the end we fed and had early bed time as he was exhausted!

We are still having to resettle him every 45 mins - you can set your clock by him! Then the last part of the nap is hit and miss, but better today I think. All the naps today were in his car seat in his buggy as this seems to be the only place he likes. Think he is a spirited baby and has wind probs too... Are there suggestions for wind downs for sprited ones anywhere?

[ZacsMumme]

Are there suggestions for wind downs for sprited ones anywhere?

Try posting on the http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=210932.0 board

Sounds like great progress! 

[bongabees]

Thanks for all the support... better afternoon today as he did a poo which totally calmed him down and he finally slept a good 2 hours with no interruptions! Then went off fine for his normally touchy nap just now!

Whoo!

[ZacsMumme]

Wahoo.....sounds like a great day!

[~Karen~]

Great news!  Sounds like he's getting used to his new surroundings!

[bongabees]

OK, so now we have a few better naps, I need some help tweaking...

He seems to be able to do one good nap a day 1.5-2 hours, and maybe one more with resettling, usually the mid morning and early afternoon ones. The early morning one is always only 30-45mins and there is no possibility of resettling, and usually the late afternoon one is the same too, unless he has not napped well and then just crashes. I am watching the clock and his cues and still only settling him successfully in his buggy. However, he is getting better and not needing SO much rocking/sh/p.

ANy tips about how to get him to go longer at these touchy naps?

Also I saw the dr today and he confirmed he thought he has tummy trouble which may explain the waking suddenly from naps and the meltdowns afterwards. Any tips for this too? We are using colic drops, let him have a good kick about, make sure we burp him lots, sit him up after a feed, rub his tummy etc etc.

The mystery to me is that after his bath and bottle at 7ish he goes down without a fuss - I put him down awake and he drifts off without a fuss. What is so different about the day? I have been putting him in a dim room, and making sure I wind him down first, and been watching that he is not too OS.