Hiding evidence at 2 years old!

[Yazzie]

Hey there girls,

We've just faced a really really odd situation, and I'd love to know what you think and how you'd handle it. We've been having some eating issues recently, and one thing I decided to stick with, was that if ds puts something in his mouth it doesn't come out, and we're sticking with this rule. ( Not sure if this is right or wrong now  )

So, the other day, after ds finished his breakfast, dh placed a bowl of grapes in front of ds and ds started eating, a while later dh went to stand beside ds, only to find he had taken a tiny piece of grape from his mouth, removed three grapes from the bowl and was trying to hide them!!!!!!!!!

This was just so very alarming and signaled that we were doing something reallly wrong!

Any ideas, thought, be critical ( please )

[skatty]

Hi Yazzie, I am going to move this over to eating for toddlers where I hope you get more responses 

[anna*]

Do you think it's connected to the new rule? It sounds like it, but could also be to do with experimenting about hiding? I guess what's your gut feeling?

I haev to say I don't know that I would be comfortable with that rule - I mean, what if he eats something and it genuinely doesn't taste good! If you imagine yourself as a stranger in a foreign land, and ALL foods look essentially unfamiliar, and people are presenting things to you saying 'Eat this, it's good' - but you don't even recognise them as edible let alone palatable - would you be comfortable with a rule that you weren't allowed to take anything out of your mouth once it had gone in?

With Stan we actively ENCOURAGE him to put new foods in and out of his mouth, to play with them like that, so that he gets really accustomed to the temperature/taste/smell/texture before asking him to actually chew and swallow. I think it makes him more prone to trying new foods because he knows it doesn't have to 'stay in his mouth' if he doesn't like it. I only care about him tasting things - it's up to him if he likes them or not!

[Shdef]

I agree with Anna 

We have that experimenting thing, too and Scotty is always allowed to spit it out.

I imagine myself... I only recently am able to eat fish and DH is cooking and buying different kinds. I HAVE to think that I am allowed to spit it out if I cannot swallow it 

[~ Vik ~]

I agree too. We have a rule that if you don't like something you don't have to eat it, but you must spit it into a Kleenex or napkin or mommy's hand. I have actually gotten him to try things by suggesting that he put it in his mouth and if he did like it he could put it back in my hand! He does very well and will even say 'mommy I need Kleenex!' with food in his mouth (not particularly attractive) but will wait until I quickly bring the Kleenex and he spits it out. TBH I am not comfortable with your rule because I know that there are times when I literally cannot swallow what's in my mouth because I've disliked it so. And when that happens, I spit it politely into a napkin and toss it out, so that's what I'm trying to teach. xx

[kiansmam]

i also agree with anna. It is completely normal and part of a toddlers development to play/experiment even with familiar foods. It's also a good idea not to make such a big issue over how much he eats. I'am a strong believer that a child will eat when hungry and enough to satisfy themselves.

[firsttimemummy]

I agree too - Murray has to try food but if he puts it in his mouth and doesn't want it he doesn't have to eat it, I just don't like when he says no just when looking at something.  I get him to smell it first then taste it (tbh it is rare he wont eat anything).  Remember kids tend to eat the amount they need.

[Lissybits]

i also agree with anna. It is completely normal and part of a toddlers development to play/experiment even with familiar foods. It's also a good idea not to make such a big issue over how much he eats. I'am a strong believer that a child will eat when hungry and enough to satisfy themselves.

Yes, I agree! Leo is about the same age as your DS and although he is a really good eater (eats most things and generally eats what's on his plate) we still get a lot of food spat out, thrown and squashed. Sometimes the food goes back in again and other times it doesn't!

I personally tend to be a bit more relaxed about 'table manners' at this young age. But generally speaking if Leo starts spitting food out or playing - it's a signal he's had enough to eat and we remove the food, wipe hands and mouth and he gets out of his chair.
HTH's a little

[Yazzie]

I totally agree with all pp(s), however I really am am not sure where to draw the line between Adam taking something out of his mouth 'cause he doesn't like it or taking it out 'cause he's playing..kwim?

[anna*]

If he's playing I would just ignore it. Totally ignore it. It won't be much fun as a game if it doesn't get a reaction...

[Yazzie]

I see your point Anna, so I'd just ignore and hopefully he's continue eating?

[anna*]

Yep. We do the same with feet on the table - if I react or respond, it becomes a game or a test. If I totally ignore it, he watches me, does it for a couple of minutes, then gives up on it.

[~*Nicole*~]

I see your point Anna, so I'd just ignore and hopefully he's continue eating?

Yup...and if he keeps "playing" you can clear his place, wipe him off and say something like "I can see you are finished putting food into your belly now. Let's go off and do something else." etc. etc. He'll learn.

We also had the, please try it and if you don't like it you can spit it out rule....and then the other day I tried teaching the (if you're around others ie: restaurant, someone else's house and you don't like something, try to swallow it and take a drink of something you like really fast and then don't eat any more of the thing you don't like, b/c it's a bit gross to spit things out in front of others. but I doubt this will really "fly" with DD if it's something she really can't stomach, as with me and olives LOL)

So, yes I agree with pps. Food must stay in and can't come out is a hard rule to really keep and will probably lead to hiding and food battles and issues in the future.

[Yazzie]

Great...thanks girls