4.45am and yet to sleep, please help me with my 2 year old.

[Newby1]

Hi All,

Please help me. Its got to the point were I am struggling to take care of my son. His nights are terrible I mean he is just awake! It's now 4.47am and yet again I havnt been to sleep. Great knowing I will be up again in 2 hours and expected to carry on with another day!

My son is called Oskar, his 2 years old. His been pretty much the same since birth but now after 2 years it's getting a little to much to handle.

There is not rhythm to the NW. It's random but usually lasts till around 5am. If were lucky he will sleep until 1am. But he usally wakes up
around 10 and then every 20 -50 mins. (well that's z good night!) usally he will just be awake for hours. Ie 11-5 am the whole night awake. Intact a few days ago I woke up at 3am (I must of cat napped for 10 mins) and he was downstairs playing with his toys!!! 

He had severe reflux / surgery and allergies. We have also moved t
twice since christmas ( first time from Dublin to London. Second time new house as our neighbours complained that he was awake all night). So I think this could have an effect on him.

He also just failed his development test and is behind by about a year.

Sorry for the mumbling! Seriously tired mama!! 

Charlotte

[Roseii]

Oh hun huge hugs. Ok we need to work through this!

What is his rough routine? And exact age? What time do you start the day, and does he nap?

Does he ever seem in pain when he wakes, or just want to play? Is he teething to your knowledge?

Did you mention this at his developmental check?

xxx

[Newby1]

Good morning!

I had a shower and feel a little better. Even though I didn't sleep at all last night.

So we like to start the day at 7. But it hardly ever happens anymore, depends on the nights sleep. This morning I tried to wake him at 7 but he just rolled back over. He was awake until
around 5 so I am guessing he is exhausted.

He naps at 11ish ( last fri - sun hd didnt nap at all).

He hardly eats during the day. Up until Friday he was having nf every hour. Around 1lr of rice milk
a night.

But on Friday we stopped nf cold turkey. Thinking he may eat and sleep through. His sleep hasn't improved. Now he is just awake and angry! But we refused completely to give him milk and he is eating better. So much so that he tried a new food yesturday! Just went in to check on him though and his body is covered in rashes. So he reacted to it.

Still last night was quite normal for him.

As for his development he was checked a week ago. Nursery have also noticed the delay he is way behind the 18 month olds there.

Thank you for taking the time to help us

:-)

[Newby1]

Sorry I didn't answer all the questions!

He was 2 on the 25th of July.

He has all his teeth already

He is not in pain when he wakes up

It's more like he can not get back to sleep. He wonts to but he just does not seem able to switch off.

I have asked about sleep anoma and also seeing a specialist. But I just keep getting told he will grow out of it.

But the thought of this lasting much longer is hard to swallow. Ever since he was born he has been the same. Up all night! And docs just keep telling me he will grow out of it. 

C

[Newby1]

Hello!

I have just been to the doctor and she said it will probably take months for him to sleep. After the insomnia has changed his sleeping pattern and now he is used to waking up
All night. Or been awake all night 

I slept 10 minutes last night and usually get around 3/4 hours broken sleep. Its lasted 2 years, I really need some hope as the days are getting harder and harder!

I think I need to follow a very strict routine with him. Including bedtime routine and eating times.

Please may you help me get him on track?

C x

[Roseii]

That sounds so tough. Can I ask about his allergies? I don't know much about them but I am pretty sure they could be affecting his sleep. Is he on a v stict diet then?
Well done for going cold turkey on the night feeds, you absolutely needed to do that

Is he in a cot or a bed? When he wakes do you allow him to get up? And what's his bedtime routine like, does he settle independently or does he need you there?

I think you are right about a stricter routine but we'll tackle some of the other issues involved too. Don't dispair, if you have the determination then we can improve on the "behavioural" aspects of this, if you see what I mean.

Xx

[<Catherine>]

Just offering some support along with Charli. What a rough time you are having there, many hugs. I can't imagine still having nights like this with a 2 yr old 

Here to offer help where I can, hopefully we can get you through some of this 

[Newby1]

Hello,

Thank you for been so supportive 

He will fall asleep alone in the cot but he wakes up more during the night. He wakes screaming and very angry. Last night DP laid next to him on a mattress by his bed, he went to sleep within 5 minutes and only woke up once! He was awake from 12 - 1. But DP said he was very calm and just wanted snuggling.

We dont mind co-sleeping. We know he needs extra comfort and maybe the cot reminds him of the pain? Sounds silly but if he always woke up in pain in there maybe thats why he gets so upset? I am not sure but we had the same problem with the highchair. We had to sell it and buy a booster for the normal chair as he was screaming every time he even saw it in the Kitchen. If the solution for him is to sleep on the floor (but sleep) I dont mind. Anything for sleep at this stage 

Alot of the long NW are down to allergies. Thats why routine / sleep training has always been so hard. I get him to bed on time but then his awake after 2 hours. The stays awake for 5 / 6 hours the next day is ruined. 

whats so hard with the allergies is they seem to change. His been tested twice and they came back clear both times. So he is not truly allergic its more intolerances. So one week he eats bread fine but the next week he eats it and his eyes swell up, he wheezes and has rashes all over the body. Also he is 'intollorant' to E-number and preservatives and some veggies, olive oil e.t.c. When he eats these he has really horrible behavioral problems. He was diagnosed with early onset ADHD at 10 months! As he was banging his head against the wall, screaming and could not even look or communicate with you. When we removed the drug and above foods he turned into a different child. Very calm and relaxed!

I think a problem is also that he is dropping the nap. He was napping one day and then the next not but now he is not napping at all. How should I deal with that? He still goes to bed at 8, but this morning I woke him up by accident trying to get DP out of the bed at 6.15. I could try a 7pm bedtime but I am not sure how to get him to sleep! How much sleep should he get? Is 10 hours in 24 not enough, or maybe he just does not need as much?

When he wakes up (in the cot) we take him to the matress next to the bed and then sleep with him. We used to give him milk, but not anymore.

Must say his reflux seems so much better since stopping the milk!

Thank you so much for reading and supporting me 

Charlotte

[Roseii]

Wow you have so much going on there!

Re the co-sleeping, it's not something BW really recommends as we'd like to encourage fully independent sleeping-for yours and your LO's own good. But obviously that is your call, I know so well what it's like when you feel like you'll just try anything for a good night's sleep!

So do you have a selection of foods that you feel are really "safe" for your LO? Have you been on the allergy boards here? I'm just thinking, if you can feel like his intolerances are better controlled then you can crack down on the sleep without feeling guilty, does that make sense?

It's great that he goes to sleep alone, but it does sound like when he wakes he needs someone there to settle him. Lying next to the cot is a very good start, as you're avoiding actually lifting him. Hopefully you/DP could move further towards the door so he's not needing that close proximity?

I would say 10 hours in 24 is definitely not enough, and although he probably is at the stage of starting to nap drop age-wise, with his NWs etc I would not advise dropping the nap right now. Does he go down easily for a nap?

I would recommend trying as safer diet as you can (but I do not know enough about these things, can you get advice?) and writing down a really good, solid routine that you will stick to. Only you will know what works for your LO, but I think set eating times and roughly set nap/bed times would be a very good idea. If you want to come up with a plan for us to look at that'd be great.

How does that sound?

xx

[Katet]

Did I read correctly that until a week ago he was feeding about 1L of rice milk at night? From about 9-12months (depends on child) the digestion and the wake sleep cycle work in together. So if you eat at night you set your metabolism to want to eat at night, so thus you wake up hungry. In babies they digest while asleep, but in toddlers & older digestion of calories occurs when awake. It can take more than a week for the digestive system to settle down & for new hunger/eating habits to kick in, so the fact he isn't sleeping better yet may be a product of the eating at night. So basically the best thing is to say from 7pm-7am NO FOOD/milk... only water, so the digestive system shuts down at night.

10hours in 24 is very low (that is about the average amount for an 8yo) & I'd say there is a huge insomnia aspect to it. While BW doesn't encourage co-sleeping, I do think (having horrid -near hospitalisation insomnia) that you need to get a baseline sleep of closer to 12hours (still low for a 2yo) before you try to tackly anything else.

[Newby1]

Hello,

I have some amazing news!!! Last night he STTN!!!! 

I really can not believe it, he slept 8.30 to 6.30ish in his travel cot in his own room!! Alone!!! Then at 6.30 I just went in snuggled him on the matress on the floor and he slept another hour! I really can not believe it! 

So its a very long story so I will try to make it as short as possible 

Basically the last 7 months of waking every 40 mintues or not sleeping all night were caused by an allergy to Wool!!! 

We moved to England at the end of December 2010. He was sleeping through in Dublin, since around a month. He was around 16 months old and had his surgery a month earlier (his intestines were popping in and out of his testicle area since birth). He was also weaned from the Reflux drug he was on as we believed it was causing aggressive behavior and insomnia. (He was diagnosed with early onset ADHD at 11 Months after been put on it!!). So me and his papa refused to give it to him.

We only had a cot in Dublin so I bought a cotbed in England. I decided to buy an Organic Mattress, he had been previously sleeping on a normal one.

Until the cot and matress arrived he was sleeping in a travel cot. Sleeping through, then when we transferred him into the cot he started waking all night. Screaming, iching, screaming, awake all night. So after a few weeks we went to see his new pediatrition for a routine appointment. He said he was waking because we should never of taken him of the drugs. And the insomnia and behaviourr  had nothing to do with the drug.........

So thats when the nightmare started. He was waking every 40 minutes or we were driving him around in the car to 3am because he was screaming. We had to leave the apartment complex as the neighbours were complaining. And yes he was drinking up 1 ltr of milk a night  , not eating solids, not talking and basically screaming day and night as he was so tired.

After 7 months DPs mama informed us that she is allergic to Linolin found naturally in wool. I put two and two together and put him back in the travel cot, removed the milk, the drug and a week later he is STTN!!

Really unbelievable that it was a mattress all along!

7 months later he is a year behind in his development, he can not talk or draw e.t.c. All because he was misdiagnosed and put onto a strong drug that's not even licensed for children.

Thank you so much for supporting me on this 

Charlotte

[Khalam's Mama]

I just posted on your other thread to see how you guys were getting on. That is a great update. Hope you are continuing to get good sleep.

[imaayafa]

congratulations, may you all be well rested now! how did you discover what he was sensitive to?