Help fitting E.A.S.Y into an already existing schedule

[SwissySara]

I need help!  I have a 4 month old (DS2) who is chronically over-tired because I just can't find a way to make his routine work with my 3-year-olds (DS1).  DS2 sleeps really well at night, but DOES NOT NAP!!!   He usually wakes up (or is woken up) around 8:00, so I can feed him and be out of the house around 8:30 to get DS1 to preschool by 9:00.  While he's in preschool is the only time I really have to run errands, so his morning "nap" is generally in the car seat as i'm grocery shopping or running whatever other errands need to be run.  It can be anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, depending on what we're doing that day.  He then eats around 11:00 (we're on a 3-hour schedule).  I have to then leave around 12:30 (around the time i'd normally start winding him down for a nap) to be able to pick up DS1 from preschool at 1:00.  DS2 may fall asleep in the car either on the way to pick up or the way home, or both.  We get back home between 1:30 and 2, at which point I feed DS2 while DS1 is watching some pre-naptime wind-down TV, and while I read him his nap time stories.  By about 2:30, DS1 is in bed for his nap, and DS 2 is exhausted beyond belief.  I put him down to nap, but the nap NEVER lasts more than 30-40 minutes.  I put him down for his nap awake, and he puts himself to sleep easily (usually) within a few minutes.  But about 45 minutes later, he's awake and screaming.  And it seems like NOTHING I can do will get him back to sleep.  Eventually it's time to eat again, and he's gotten almost NO sleep, and I spend the rest of the evening trying to entertain DS1 and get dinner ready while dealing with an over-tired, fussy, clingy, baby.  I'm at a loss!  I'm going to try the wake to sleep this week to see if that helps.  But I just don't see any way to give him a routine that will allow him to get the sleep he needs, and still keep DS1's routine.  

DH leaves for work at 7:00, and we're a one car family (he rides his bike), so having him take DS1 to school isn't an option.

Any suggestions?

[~Emma~]

 OK, at 4 months old you are loking at about 2 hours A time. Is there any way you could have yourselves home by just before 10 to start naptime routine for the AM nap?

 I know its pretty tricky to balance the 2 but if oyu wantto have a solid routine thensomething has to give somewhere kwim? Its hard trying to get everything done during A time but their A time does extend pretty fast and if you'e put in the time now to try to get the good naps in then it'll pay off later. With grocery shopping I do it in the evening when the kids are in bed and DH is home. A PITA but its the price I pay for getting my LOs naps in during the day.

 If you can manage to get home for 10 for a nap and work on that one getting it to a decent length then all being well once that one is under your belt you should be able to pick DS up at 1 and then have them BOTH napping (bliss!) in the afternoon. It does infortunatly take alot of time.

 Short naps can be developmental at this age too. Have you tried httj? Or w2s for the afternnon nap thats 45 mins?

 http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=121269.0

[SwissySara]

i've thought about shopping in the evening, but by the time both kids are down, it would be 9:00 before i could leave the house.  two of the three stores i normally do my grocery shopping at are closed by then.  the one that's open is the one with the highest prices, so we'd probably see our grocery bills go up quite a bit if i had to make that the only place i shopped.  and i'm barely keeping our grocery bills withing budget as it is, even with splitting our shopping among three different stores to get the best prices on the stuff we buy.

and call me selfish, but there are certain things i'm not willing to give up.  I know myself.  I have a long history of depression and I've learned that there are certain things that I can't give up if I want to maintain emotional stability.  Time with my husband, exercise, and sleep are critical.  Giving up any one of them leads to pretty serious depression.  That's not someplace I'm willing to go again.  I can't be a good mom to my kids when I'm too depressed to function.  So grocery trips that take away from the little time I have with my husband and get me home too late to get a good night's sleep would probably do more harm than good. 

i'm trying w2s now, but apparently haven't gotten the timing right yet.  or it's just not working.  i'm going to give it some more time.  I'm just looking forward to an afternoon that doesn't involve both of us crying the whole time!

[~Emma~]

 You are right hon, you do need to strike a balance, its so, so important. Having dealt with depression myself in the past I understand that completely. 

 Saying that though it is making your options limited so in this scenario you just have to take the rough with the smooth and hope baby naps on the go and that that nap in the afternoon extends at some point. How has w2s gone? Any successes?


 For me bad naps = bad nights with my DD so thats why I make her naps a priority because otherwise she doesn't sleep at night and like you sleep for me is what helps me function the best I can for my children.