Ready for 4 hr EASY?

[eshea]

Hi,

My son is 15 weeks and we are struggling with evening sleep.  I wonder if it's a sign that he's ready for a 4 hr EASY, but I would love some advice!
He settles well for his three naps and with a little shh/pat I can usually extend the morning nap.  His mid-day nap tends to be out and about (I have a 3 year old daughter) and the afternoon nap is fairly consistently 2 hrs unless the morning nap is bad.  He has a hard time getting down for a cat nap and I struggle too, as the 3 year old is a little crabby by this time of the day! 

Here's his EASY:
E 7:00
S8:30-10:00
E 10:00
S in the carseat or at a park, on the go
E 1:00
S:2:00-4:00
E 4:00
S (if lucky, 5:00 or 5:30)
E 7:00 books, bed
DF 10:00

I have been consistent with the DF all week and our attempt to tackle the NW.  He wakes at 9:30 and goes back to sleep with a shh/pat.  He then wakes around 1:30 and I try to hold him off longer, but lately I think he's hungry as he sucks the paci and spits it out, fussing for something else.  He will wake again between 4:30 and 5:00, and then morning starts again.

If these are signs that he's ready for a 4 hr EASY, how should I tackle the night wakings?  He is a quite heavy baby (13 lbs) and I have always had trouble figuring out when at night he is hungry.  I do know, however, that we should all be getting more sleep!!

If it's not time for a 4 hr, what am I missing that would help him at night?

Thanks for suggestions.

[JaspersMum]

Following along as I'm in the same boat!  However have moved to a 3.5 hr EASY.

[eshea]

What are you doing with the NW?  Last night he stirred at 9:30 but I patted him back to sleep, gave the DF at 10 and then he was up at 1:30 and 3:45.  He woke at 6 but I got him back down until 7.  I almost wonder if the DF is interrupting his sleep? I am really at a loss.

Maybe I need to be more firm and do PU/PD until 3 or 4 and then feed him?   

[JaspersMum]

The DF has never really worked for DD. A real shame because it worked with DS and he was STTN by 3 months.

At the moment DD will wake 3-4 hours from her bedtime feed and then 2-4 hours after that for the rest of the night. It's driving me crazy!

You could try extending his feeds during the day, perhaps to 3 hrs 15 minutes to start with and see how he goes. My DD coped well with extending but then I think that is because she eats so much at night she doesn't need to eat so much during the day - herein lies our problem!

To be able to go 10pm til 1.30am isnt so bad but if you are concerned about the DF what about if you just fed him when he wakes around 9ish and then decide from there you will not feed until 3.5 hours is up and if he wakes beforehand do PU/PD. That is my plan.  So if he has last feed at 7pm do not feed till 10.30, then 2, 5.30 and any wake ups in-between do PU/PD.

I say this is my plan but I don't know when I will start as I am scared of all the crying disrupting DS!  Something needs to change though. 

[eshea]

That sounds like a good plan to me!  Last night he was so hot he had a little hard time settling and needed a little reassurance to get resettled from 7-8:30.  He woke at 9:50 so I fed him and then he woke at 1:30.  I fed him again and tried to pay really close attention.  He hardly nursed and the sucking didn't even settle him, as we were doing pu/pd for a good 45 minutes until he finally settled.  He was up at 3 and took a long feed and then up at 6.  His arms kept breaking loose from the swaddle and I think that was our problem!  Tonight I'm putting him in his long sleeved pajamas (seems to help the swaddle stick) and only feed him after 3.5 hrs. 

He has been going  3.5-3.75 hrs between feeds and handles it really well during the day (maybe same as you - he gets enough at night!).

I feel worried too about the crying bothering the family but we just need to do it for betterment in the long run! I'll let you know how the next few nights go!

[JaspersMum]

I hate swaddling!  I have a sleeping cocoon that keeps their little hands up by their face but still restricts the startle reflex.  I was totally hopeless at wrapping.

That's great that he is coping with the extra time between feeds.  DD is back to every 2.5-3.5 hours at the moment as I think we have encountered wonder week 19 along with the 4 month sleep regression.  She has been napping for only 35 minutes at a time for the past two days and bedtime for the past 3 nights has dragged on for around 2 hours.  Finally last night I decided to let her have a bit of a cry (I have never done this before as I don't like CIO and like I've mentioned, don't want to disrupt DS) and after only 10 minutes of off and on crying (where I reassured her just once) she fell asleep!  Also did it tonight and it took 5 minutes!  Night wakings have been a little better but she is super unsettled from about 3-4 am.

I've decided I will start PU/PD once she turns 20 weeks which is in about 7 days so I can be sure the wonder week is over.

[eshea]

Sounds like things are moving along.  What's the wonder week?  I only remember the 6 week mark being so terrible - but maybe I blocked out the memory of week 19!

Good that getting to bed is getting easier and hopefully it will continue for you.  I've decided to just let the NW ride themselves out.  They have been a little better (the stickier swaddle is helping) and he settles quickly if it's not a feeding time. 

Today we had a great morning.  He woke so happy, ate at 7, and went down for a nap at 8:45.  He slept until 10:30 and then I fed him at 10:45.  Problem was he fell asleep in the car on the way home from the library (maybe 10 min) and didn't stay asleep when I tried to transfer him to the crib.  So, the afternoon has been OT and naps are short.  He's down now and I hope the late nap will mean an ok night for him.  I'm tired!  I guess one good EASY cycle a day is an accomplishment. I just couldn't stay home to work on the routine for another day.  My toddler and I were going crazy!

Mind posting your EASY so I can figure out when the naps should fall?  I just start to lose track.

[JaspersMum]

Wonder week 19 is apparently a big one.  Sleep starts to go awry from about week 15 til 20.  I've noticed DD is much more aware of her surroundings, has found her fingers and is working on rolling over.  So all of this means crappy sleep.

Our days sound a bit like yours - we might get one good EASY cycle and that's it.  Bedtime was horrible tonight - took me an hour to get her down.  I know it is because of her short naps all day.  It is bizarre - she is only napping for 35-45 minutes at a time but waking happy!  Its only bedtime that she melts down.  I think I might ride out the NWs too as the feeding is getting her back to sleep quickly.

Our EASY is all over the place but this would be my ideal:

Wake 6.30am
E 7
S 8.30 for 1.5/2 hours
E 10.30 or 11
S 12/12.30 for 1.5/2 hours
E 2.30
S 4ish for 45 minutes
E 6ish
Bed 6.30
DF 10ish

[eshea]

Just wanted to let you know how we were coming along...

We're on the 4 hr EASY now and the kinks are mostly ironed out!  He easily lasts the 4 hrs between feeds and has adjusted very well to the 2 hr activity.  Naps are great, too.  He still has the stir at 45 min or sometimes earlier, but he can self settle most of the time and otherwise I help him along a bit.  This new routine has also helped the NW.  They are fewer and I can stretch him longer to be sure I only really feed him if he's honestly hungry and not just snacking.  Overall it feels so good!  Just in time for a doctor visit next week and shots, haha.  That will throw us all off.

How are you fairing with the evenings?  Have you tried moving the bedtime around a little to see if an earlier time helps her avoid melt down?  I know it's hard to have meltdowns in the evenings with a toddler under foot!

Maybe the short naps and waking happy is a sign she's ready for a bit more A time?

[JaspersMum]

Glad to hear things have improved for you!  We've had a week and a half of 35-45 minute naps and now she has a cold so last night we had about 8 NWs!   

Our 4 hour EASY has disappeared.  I was at my wits end yesterday and thought I would definitely have to commit to PU/PD and then today she has had a 1.5 nap and an hour nap and went down at bedtime a little easier.  Her A times have been cut right back to 1.5 hours.

She is still unwell though and has woken twice already tonight but has resettled quite easily.  Interestingly she was 20 weeks yesterday so I think we are on the homeward stretch to more sanity (until wonder week 26 is upon us!)

I have no idea what kind of routine to implement tomorrow but I will try for a 4 hour EASY and see how we go.

OUt of interest, is your first A time shorter than the rest?  What is your EASY looking like?

[eshea]

Sorry to hear things have been up and down!  We have those moments, too.  He just figured out rolling over from the back to the tummy and last night woke up twice because he was stuck on his tummy!  Today we tried to practice a lot so if he gets stuck he can fix himself.  I think this also means we might have to wean the swaddle earlier than I would like. 

Our EASY is like this:
7/7:20 E (he sometimes wakes earlier but falls back asleep on his own)
8:45/9-10:45/11 S (I will do PU/PD until 11 just to extend his nap - sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but I keep trying)
11:00 E
12:45-3:00 S (again, PU/PD until 3 so he can learn.  If he sleeps past 3 I let him.)
3:00 E
4:45/5 S (cat nap, I definitely AP him to fall asleep, but we need it to make it to night time!  This is a little later if he slept past 3, I try to watch his cues.  When he gets crabby I know it's naptime).
pajamas/books/eat at 7:00 and off to bed

I've given up on the DF and I just let him wake himself (lately it's around 10:30 or 11).  We'll sometimes get a waking around 1:30 if he hasn't napped well during the day and now he's found his fingers for sucking, so we're trying to help him go to those rather than the pacifier).  He'll wake at 3:30ish for a feeding and then sleep until morning. 

Might you have a day where you can really watch the clock for your girl to see how it goes?  Maybe when your tot has a playdate or a good movie to watch?  I know Tracy says not to watch the clock, but sometimes it helps just to get the ball rolling?