Frequent NW and prop dependency

[ccynderella]

Not sure where to post this but it's mostly a night issue....
My DS is going to be 4 months next week and for the last 3 nights he has been waking every 45 minutes to an hour.  Two weeks ago we had tried unswaddling him cuz we thought he might be ready but his startle reflex was still pretty bad so we went back to swaddling - that seemed to get him through some long stretches.  He has been dependent on his paci and would cry sometimes when it fell out but never this bad.  I also had got into the habit of taking him into bed with me in the early morning (5am ish).  Last week I stayed at my mom's for 3 nights and ended up taking him into bed with me when he would wake up at 3 or 4.  For the last month he has only fed here and there in the night (besides his DF at 11) and I really feel that he no longer needs it and can last till 7 (especially since he doesn't seem to need to eat when he is in bed with me).

We are currently on a 3 to 3 1/2 hour EASY, with the day starting at 7 and bedtime at 7:30.  He is BF.  Wake times are 1 1/2 hours to 1 hr and 45 min. We had a 45 min. nap issue for a very long time but I've been recently successful with extending them for another 30 to 45 min. using a quick sh/pat and reinserting paci. He is not swaddled for his naps.

He is generally a very happy, smily baby and I rarely see signs of OT.  I wonder if his longer naps are a result of the frequent NW. When he wakes at night, I just reinsert paci and he falls back asleep which makes me think he is not hungry and I'm determined not to feed him because I feel he should go longer.  

So I need a plan because sleep deprivation is getting the better of me and i have a toddler as well. My current plan was to unswaddle at night and help him find his fingers to suck on when he wakes.  I would keep doing this as many times as necessary to make it to 7.  And of course I have resisted the urge to bring him in bed because I'm afraid he has now come to expect it.  Am I doing the right thing???

[ccynderella]

Ok, I will make an attempt to post our easy but I have to say the last week has been all over the place.  Also, over a month ago, I had decided to stop looking at the clock and just go with the routine itself...for my sanity mostly, because he is a 45 minute napper.

E - 7am - this is what I push for but since I have not been bringing him into bed with me, he is waking up at around 6:30/6:45
A - 7:30
S - 8:30 - rough estimate depending on when he wakes up....he can easily do an hour and 45 minutes before sleep
E - 9:30 - this is based on his 45 minute nap.  There were a couple of days when he was sleeping through till 10:30 with and without my help
A - 10:00
S - 11:00 - again, this is largely dependent on what time he woke up  but roughly 1 hr 1/2 of wake time
E - 12:00 - depending on whether I'm able to get him to sleep longer or not
A - 12:30
S - 2:00 - today he took a 2 hour nap with my help
E - 4:00
A - 4:30
S - 5:30 - over the last couple of days it has become increasingly difficult to get him to take this late nap. I'm only successful if I hold him in my arms and rock him and that is usually more towards 6:15. I only let him sleep 20 minutes so that he'll have enough energy for his bath
E - 6:45
A - bath 7:00
E - top up at 7:30
S - 7:45
E - 11pm dream feed with bottle (breastmilk) it is difficult to get him to drink more than 4oz
A - he wakes at 2:30 roughly and I can usually get him back to sleep by reincertion of soother but last night he slept through till 3:30 and would not take the paci so I fed him.  He only drank for 10 min. and wouldn't take anymore but he went back to sleep easily and did not wake again until 6:30.  He did not take much this morning.

Sorry for the novel, but I'm trying to include as much info.  The last two night he did not wake as much (only twice after dream feed)  but I had made some changes after reading the forum.
1.  I thought he might be cold so I dressed him warmer and still swaddled.
2.  I tried the gentle removal techniqe with the paci
3.  I turned off the monitor in my room and so only woke up when his cries were consistent.  (although I don't know if he woke up more times and resettled or he was just in a phase with the frequent NW)

Anyway, so for now, NW are kind of under control but I still want to eliminate the feed after the DF cuz  I really feel he doesn't need it.
Also, because his naps are still so inconsistent and more often short - how am I ever going to get him to a 4hr EASY?

One note:  I pump in the mornings after his first feed and my supply is diminishing so I can only get around 3 or 4 oz.  I use this bottle for the DF and if I don't have enough - I top up with formula.  He only gets formula once in a while.

[ccynderella]

Thanks for your reply.

For naps, he is unswaddled and I use shsh/pat with the paci.  He goes down fairly easy with just a quick shsh/pat but he ALWAYS wakes at the 45 minute mark.  I always use shsh/pat with the paci to get him to go back and if he's tired, he'll fall back asleep - fitfully - but sometimes for another 30 to 45 min.  Most of the time, though, he is laughing and cooing at me.  I only try for about 10 to 15min (cuz I have a toddler and I want to stay sane).

When he wakes at night, he is usually still half asleep and I'll reinsert the paci.  If he is wide awake and cough-crying, I feed him.  The last few nights have been great!  He slept till 6:30 the other night and till 4:30 last night.  I gave him what was left over from the DF ( he had only taken 3oz so I gave him another 3) and he slept till 6:30.  I'm almost convinced now that he does not need a night feed and perhaps he is not as dependent on the paci as I thought...for nightime anyway. Because I've turned off the monitor in my room , I don't know if he is still waking and crying a bit and then is able to resettle.

My other issues is the DF.  I can't seem to get him to take more than 4 oz and I believe if he would take more, it would get him right through.  I've contemplated dropping the DF and just waiting to see when he would wake up to take a full feed.

So I guess I need a better way of extending naps?  Or, if he's fine with the 45 minute naps, what should my EASY look like to get to a 4 hr routine?

[ccynderella]

I do think the paci is a prop because he seems to need it to fall asleep.  Once he is in a deep sleep and it falls out - he is ok, but if he is having a hard time falling asleep, I may have to keep going back in to reinsert it.  I do not stay with him until he falls asleep.
I don't know what has happened in the past couple of days but a there have been a few miracles.  It started at the beginning of the week with his sleeping longer stretches through the night.  Then, two days ago, I started following the 3 to 4hr EASY transition I found here on the forum.

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=120362.0

Since then, I have been able to extend all of his naps and there are a few that he goes past the 45 minute mark on his own. And for a few naps, he has fallen asleep on his own, without my help and without the paci!  I'm not sure if this is a coincidence or if he is sick or if it's just a short term thing.....but my days have been MUCH better. 

He is still waking at night though...last night at 2:30am and then again at 5am.  Both times, I used shsh -pat with the paci and he fell back asleep. He woke at 7am.  So I`m pretty confident he can go the night without food now.  Perhaps his night wakings are a sign that he needs that 4hr routine sooner than later?

[makka]

HI there
Do you think your Lo is coming up to having a growth spurt, hence the frequent NW'S?

kirsten

[ccynderella]

Thanks for the replies...
Kirsten...if it is a GS should I be feeding him or still trying to stretch him through the night.  I just don't want him to tank up at night and then not be as hungry in the morning.  Also, the times that i have fed him, he has barely taken anything (about 5 min. on the breast)  so I'm not sure.
That being said, he did wake even more frequently last night and it was difficult to resettle him. He is also not sleeping well for his naps today (back to 45 minutes and fighting me during the transition)  I started us PU/PD for the first time today because shsh/pat was not working.

Jane...I'm pretty sure he is using the paci as a prop but I'm not sure how to go about weaning it.  I also had the thought that if he could start sleeping through the night  consistently, first, then I would start to tackle the paci removal.  I purposely don't swaddle him during naps because I am hoping he will find his fingers but it has not happened yet