OT hell

[~Emma~]

 B is just so tired, he beyond tired and is barely coping throughout the day. Whenever we go anywhere in the car, no matter what time fo day it is his eyes are rolling in his head. We are getting NW and I can see EW creeping in too. The EW I need to avoid at all cost, its unbearable.

 I've been doing early nights but he's not tacking and nights are getting pretty short. I have tried for the last few days actually putting him to bed but he will not sleep, he just messes about. He used to fall asleep on the sofa every 3-4 days for an hour or more and that kept any OT at bay but he's not doing that anymore either. Car not an option as D wont sleep in the car for her nap and what would be his naptime is bang in the middle of hers. 

 I cant see a way out of this right now. He is a mess, a wee walking, tired mess.

[*Becky*]

Emma - as you know we have been/are in the exact same position. At the end of July H started refusing naps in bed and it went on all summer. He would sleep in the car even as early as 11am but not in bed. 10 days ago I decided enough was enough, his behaviour was appalling and he was falling apart, we all were. I enforced quiet time in his room from 1-2pm every day. He has a quiet time box with a few little bits that he only has at this time so stickers, paper, a small tractor, a book.
Yes he did not like it and yes he was not quiet to begin but after great advice from Mashi and Shiv and others who had been through it I persevered and he has managed it. He has also slept 4 out of the 9 days he has been up there so far. His behaviour is already better.
He always says he does not want to do it but we just carry on and I put him in his room. On occasion he gets too loud (M is right next door) and if reminders are not working I just tell him I will have to close his door (which he does not want) and he settles back again.
I really had to get to desperation point to do this but I am really glad I did - I hope he keeps it up until he can cope without the nap as clearly he can't right now.
Being on the sofa did not work, he just faffed about, talked to us all, wanted to play etc.

[scucci1979]

so many hugs Emma. It is such hell!  
I would love to try quiet time in her room but Madi  refuses to go there and i don't have the stamina to deal with A's crying if she wakes her with her screams. She will lay down on my bed if I lay with her or on the sofa if I sit with her.  
Will he sit down to watch a show or movie? Or if you sit/lay with him?
If you try this quiet time in his room, let us know how it goes.  Speak of the devil, she is dozing off on the sofa, sitting up ATM.  
Great job Becky for enforcing that.

Mmmmm.... now that I think of it, I should try this quiet time in her room b/c she clearly still needs her nap if she is passing out on the sofa. she just refuses to take it in her room.

[~Emma~]

 We currently do quiet time as a dvd on the sofa and he's pretty good at sitting there but the thing is he just NEEDS to sleep, he's at the point where he needs more than a rest in day as he's just so OT.


 I'm thinking I might have to just so a dreaded car ride tomorrow but then I cant get out in the car with him until about 3pm so then we are in to 2nd wind territory!

 We went a walk this afternoon and he lost the plot, I was walking ahead and he started hyperventilating almost as he thought I was leaving him behind. Day to day things that we normally do are becoming fraught with this emotional wee kid who cant seem to handle anything. its making for a very long day. 
 

[*Becky*]

H would not sleep on the sofa either - too much distraction. Have you tried putting him in his room for quiet time? Hugs - I really get it, we are also going through this xx

[~Emma~]

 He was sleeping fine on the sofa about every 3-4 days, sometimes more. It seems to have stopped though and he's now not napped on the couch for almost 2 weeks. He will stay in his room of i put him in there but its just the not sleeping thats the issue. I just wish that I could explain to him that he was feeling the way he is because he's tired and if he slept he would feel better. Grrrrrrrr. Bloody 1-0 sucks. 

 Oops, a wee bit of a rant. I know no-one really has the answers. No-one can make a toddler sleep and thats what sucks the most about 1-0. I've wanted to post fpr ages but haven't because it is what it is really, I think I just need to suck up this last bit until he can handle the entire day awake. 

[C&B&E]

Emma, how early are your early nights?  I find if Ben is really OT that I need to get him down to bed 11.5 hours or less after he woke up - otherwise he does not tack anything onto his night sleep.  You might find an even earlier bedtime (5/5.30pm), might get you a much better wake up and a more well slept boy.  Seriously, Ben *never, ever* tacks on sleep unless he is given a super early night...it is so frustrating  .  Even 6.30pm gives us a 10hr night, but a 5.30/6pm gives a 12hr+ night.  

I also find that if he's OT then if he gets a normal bedtime then he will mess about for an hour, but if he's given a super early bedtime then he often goes straight to sleep as he's not reached his 'second wind'  

Hugs - OT does my head in!!  

[grace annes mommy]

((hugs)) emma.  in exactly the same boat here, so not much to offer but understanding.

[~*Nicole*~]

You might find an even earlier bedtime (5/5.30pm), might get you a much better wake up and a more well slept boy.  Seriously, Ben *never, ever* tacks on sleep unless he is given a super early night...it is so frustrating  Roll Eyes.  Even 6.30pm gives us a 10hr night, but a 5.30/6pm gives a 12hr+ night. 

I also find that if he's OT then if he gets a normal bedtime then he will mess about for an hour, but if he's given a super early bedtime then he often goes straight to sleep as he's not reached his 'second wind'  Roll Eyes

I've recently found the same thing with DD here. She was NEVER a kid who tacked on sleep to her nights. BUT since dropping her nap...I can put her to bed before 7 even if she has woken up after 7 that morning and she will sleep a good length night and not wake until at least 7 usually. I think we're past the point of needing 5:30 BTs but I wish I had tried that back when she started this nap dropping business b/c she was a disaster!!!!

*HUGS* as you go through all this.

[ZacsMumme]

Hey Emma...I have NO experience here but my SIL told me that when her DD was going through this she would only nap if SHE napped with her (or at least laid down on the bed) Long shot, but do you think when D is napping if you laid down on the bed and rested that B may do so too and drift off?

[scucci1979]

I wonder too Emma, if you can lie down with him for a few minutes and hopefully he will fall asleep. Of course, I am sure DD2 has to be sleeping in order to achieve this.  ATM,  I am cuddling with Madi on the sofa, hoping she will fall asleep. Doesn't look good so far.

[*Becky*]

that would NEVER work with H but anything is worth a try
Hugs Emma - OT toddlers are just so hard to cope with.

[~Emma~]

Ah well in true to form style (as in as soon as I post he cracks!) he crashed today. He slept for 20 mins and woke up screaming and sweating, much like he does in the MOTN, so now I know the wakes are OT and thats just his OT way! I hugged him and stroked his head and he fell back asleep for another half hour.

 He's just so tired. I cannot go out of his sight without him freaking out, its tough going. 

 If he is still in a state tomorrow I'm going to try the super duper early BT. I'll take the EW if it comes and then at least if he does have an EW then he'll nap that day and we can catch up that way.

 Love you girls, thanks for all the help with this kid. 

[Roseii]

Emma that's how I always think-ugly EW at least you should get a nap, normal waking=hopefully no nap day and early bedtime! Easy peasy
Xxxx

[~Emma~]

Easy peasy

 Hope so. 

 These toddlers are a nightmare. I keep thinking with DD 'ach, only another year and we'll be home free, practically have our lives back.'   WHAT!!?! Sometimes I think its only gets worse!!