My 8 month old is holding me hostage at night!! Help!

[HiThere1]

Ok Ok, that may seem a little extreme, but her night wakings are taking a turn for the worse as she is becoming more and more difficult to settle.

My 8 mo was very coliky for the the first 2.5 months of her life and the only way we got any break from the screaming was to hold and rock/jiggle/sway her all day.  Unfortunately as a result, once the crying subsided she was completely unable to put herself to sleep!  She could never fall asleep without at least 1/2 hour of rocking/jiggling/singing to lull her to sleep.  She has never once slept through the night, commonly waking anywhere from 3-6 times.  This of course progressed to extreme fatigue for both me and her and my coping mechanisms/props were co-sleeping, bf at night when she woke and using a pacifier. 

Fast forward 6 months later and I am now at the end of my rope.   The time it takes me to get her to sleep is eating up my entire day and I have another older child who has been sadly neglected.   

I read the BW book and decided get her on a 4 hour EASY and to do PU/PD to try to teach her some self-soothing skills which I clearly never allowed her to learn earlier.  We are now about 3 weeks into EASY and on day 7 from the start of PU/PD and the change has been phenomenal!!  Yes, the first few days were hard and long but she has now progressed to the point where I can just pop her in the crib at nap time after our wind-down ritual and she'll calmly play, then roll over to go to sleep!!  AMAZING!  She will generally nap ~1.5 hours in the morning and about ~2 hours in the afternoon.

My major issue remains night time.  She fights bedtime MUCH more than nap time (about 15-20 mins of PU/PD or hand on her back etc) and although she wakes less frequently (2 nights ago she actually gave me 8 hours in a row!!) she is still waking up 2-3 times a night, but it takes HOURS to get her back to sleep!   At first during the night I was doing Pu/PD along with a light hand on her back if she was calm and my sleepy phrase.  Again, the first few nights were hard as we also decided to night wean her at the same time so my husband helped by being there for that.   Since then I've tried to limit the PU as much as possible as per advice I've seen here on other posts.  But now instead of crying, flopping around and getting up on her knees and trying to self sooth all she does is scream and crawl over to the edge of the crib where I'm standing and try to claw at me to pick her up!    I've tried just laying her down instead of doing PU then PD but it just INFURIATES her.  She will finally settle after about 1.5-2hours in the crib but she is continually checking if I'm there and if I try to back off just out of her line of sight she'll come back over to the edge of the crib and try to pull herself up to see me and scream. 

I think it goes without saying, I'm completely exhausted and I really just don't know what to do next.  I'm afriad that I've replaced one prop with another as she just does not seem to be able to go to sleep in the middle of the night without me!!  I'm hoping that someone here may have some suggestions for me to limit the night wakings or at least make them shorter or more managable.

[mmom]

((HUGS))) Can you post your routine in EAS format?

A few thing come to mind - fighting BT is often UT for us.  I am wondering what your last A to bed is.  We also have difficulty during teething.  We get BT resistance without meds, NWs, and EWs.  Also, are you sure there isn't some reflux or food intolerance based on your first several months?

[HiThere1]

Thank you so much for your reply (and your hug, I've never needed one more!)  Right now my day kind of looks like this:

Wake 6:30-7 (although if it's been a very bad night I'll let her go as late as 7:30)
E - Milk on waking 
A - play, solids around 8/8:15, bath
S - 900 for ~1.5-2 hours but never later than 1100

E - milk @ 1100
A - outside, shopping trip etc, solids at 1230-1245
S - 130 for 1.5-2 hours but never later than 4pm

E - milk at 1500 or upon waking
A - outside to pick up ds, solids at 5:45, milk at 6:30/7
S - bedtime 7/7:30

I try to follow it as much as possible with some flexibility of about 15 mins on either side. 
In terms of A time I'm often pushing her just to make it to my naptime goals.  Our extensive NW's have left my DD VERY sleepy during they day so she often starts showing me tired cues around the 2 hour mark after waking.  I have to take her out of the house otherwise she won't play, she'll just sit on the floor and cry.   If she wakes for the day before 7am she's often down for her first nap by 845.  The last two days shes had 30 min naps in the afternoon too, and despite ~1 hour of PU/PD I just could not resettle her. 

She falls asleep completely on her own - no crying, no PU/PD, she just can't ever seem to get herself back to sleep once she's woken!

She's also started scooting/creeping within the last few weeks so her play time is spent criss-crossing the house which I'm sure tires her out.

Great points to ponder too - thanks.
Teething - no teeth yet and no little 'pits', you know the ones that form just before they pop out, but I'm giving her the herbal Camilia before each nap/sleep just to calm her and just in case.
Allergies - I haven't introduced any new foods to her since we started this process just to eliminate any of those issues and everything has been fairly smooth in terms of introducing solids (unless you count the fact that she's uber-picky!)  She's on three solid feeds per day taking ~1 baby cube at breakfast, 2 at lunch and sometimes 3 at dinner.
Reflux - you may be on to something...she still does spit up a lot which I guess I really don't know much about.  My DS never spit up ever - even as a baby, but it seems to be something she does pretty much every day.  Not huge quantities but little spots on the floor where she has been playing.  Do most kids require medication for that???

Also possibly worthwhile to mention: she has developed very strong separation anxiety over the last few weeks.  Definitely exacerbated by fatigue.  When she's super tired she can't even handle my husband holding her, she starts crying and lunging out of his arms for me.  It's exhausting.



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[mmom]

If the first teeth haven't popped, teething could be an issue.  I don't think spit up is a concern, unless it is associated with pain.  Does she seem in pain or tired?

Have you tried medicating for teeth at night to see if it helps?

[shirat]

same issue here! 8 month old has always been a terrible napper and sleeper. letely i only get 30 min naps plus her usual frequent night waking! i am losing my mind and don't know what else to do!