Hey trinity,
I'm no expert and I've not got a solution, but I have a 9.5wo and am having similar issues.
My night times are similar to yours, and have also steadily gotten better the last two or so weeks.
Unfortunately my lo's naps have been terrible, 20m and 40m if I'm lucky, but I can score a good long one if he's in his carrier (I have a 2yo who i'm outside with in the mornings). Again, I'm having trouble settling my lo after he wakes himself up - more often at the 20m. I've made sure he's not doing anything exciting - no dangly toys, or vibrating chairs etc to get him OS. Just the three of us. I watch like a hawk for the cues - and the yawns can start as early as 30min from waking up after a super night sleep.
I'm stuck as to what the go is, but i too cannot handle that blood curdling cry - I end up having to take him out and start over later on. Probably not the right thing to do, but my 2yo can't handle it and neither can I handle the two of them doing it, plus I'm not sure it's helpful to bubba either. I might be wrong, but i'll deal with that.
i'll let you know if i have any success - haven't yet but who knows?