I really really hope someone here can help me!!!

[rochellep]

I didn't know whether to post this under naps, EASY,or under NW'S since all of our problems probably have to do with all three. I am so sorry for the length of this post, but we have been having these problems for a couple of months. First off, I have had my baby on EASY routine since about 2 weeks. At the beginning it was pretty simple since I have been using Baby Whisperer techniques on my 3 previous children and I knew from the beginning not to use props to get my baby to sleep ect..At the beginning it was Eat, 5-10 min activity and then right to sleep and he slept for two hours and woke up and it started over again. Then at about 6 weeks (i'm guessing as it been so long since we started these problems that i cant remember in my sleep deprived state) he started the 45 min. naps. He was sleeping pretty good at night. He would go to bed at 7:00 and wake at 7:00 in the morning with about 3 BF at during the night.I gathered as much information as I could on the topic of 45 min. naps from Tracy's book and on these forums. I started going in before the 45 min. mark and pat/shh. It worked! I stayed the full 20 min.I also used pat/shh for putting him down for naps also.After about two weeks it stopped working and I would stay in the room for 40 min after every nap patting and shushing trying to stay calm even though I was almost in tears. Pat/sh was not working for putting down either at the beginning of his naps either, it just made him more upset. I got so stressed and upset after dealing with this for every nap for a month and a half that I gave up trying to use pat/sh and the beginning of the nap and resorted to rocking, which I didn't want to do because I knew it would end up being a prop to get him to sleep. But I didn't know what else to do...he needed sleep! Then I started going in the room at 45 min. and applying pressure on him through the jolts. that worked! I was so happy! Well that was short lived...it did not last.  I tried everything..I put a noise machine next to him and a fan on the other side of the room to cover up my husbands snoring(the baby shares a room with us and my husband works nights so he sleeps during the day)  I was still rocking to a very sleepy state at the beginning of his naps and then putting him down in his crib. He started fighting me more and more at nap time, he just would not settle, even with a long wind down way before his nap.I really wanted to be able to wind him down and then lay him down in his crib and help him go to sleep. And I figured that maybe since he was  such a touchy sleeper( everything seemed to wake him up!) that the patt/sh was stimulating.. that I was just going to stand back and let him do his thing try to self sooth without me getting in his way. So I decided I was going to completely stop the rocking and stand with him and listen to heartbeat music and then put him down. And I started having my husband sleep in my dd's room. The first time it took 15 min of me putting my hand on his chest and soothing him with my voice. It worked! He would fuss for little while and shake his head from side to side and then go to sleep. I was so happy. It worked everyday for every nap for two weeks. Then he started fighting it again and it was back to the rocking chair. But now he fights me like I am wrestling a bear everytime it is time for him to sleep.h I thought that he was so OT for the naps that he was not settling. So I did more research and started doing the wake to sleep method for naps. So far I have been able to make his first morning nap longer most of the time. he sleeps for 1hr. 45 min. and the second and third naps he still wakes at 45 min. and I go in while he is still drowsy and put him back to sleep rocking him which helps 80% of the time. I do not want to have to rock him because I know it is becoming a prop, but nothing soothes him in the crib! NOTHING! And it is the only way he will go back to sleep and I am desperate for him to sleep so he does not get so OT! He is now 15 weeks tomorrow and we have been having these problems for at least 2 months. Last sunday was the worst day since he has been born. He woke during night every hour and I was in tears. He had crummy naps the day before, so I thought that maybe he was OT. So the next day I did everything I could to just to get him sleep longer naps. Everything! The next night he slept better. But just last night it happened again! I was desperate and crying and didn't know what to do! Nothing worked! BF didn't work, rocking didn't work. It was as though he had electricity running through his veins. He would bang his head on my shoulder, arch his back, when he would fall asleep he would keep jolting...ALL NIGHT LONG!!! When this happened the first time, I was brainstorming with my husband and he thought maybe it was the caffeine I was drinking. So I cut the caffeine out. He screams and starts crying when I wrap him in his miracle wrap blanket so maybe he does not like the type of wrap I use because its too tight and it keeps his arms down to his sides. I really don't know what it could be!! As you can see how confused I am. It could be OT, or it could be a EASY routine problem or it could be he hates his swaddle,  that is effecting his NW and him fighting his naps so much I don't know. I really hope someone can help because he is too young for PUPD and HATES PAT/SH and wont settle down with anything I try.

[rochellep]

Oh dear, I just reread my post. I was really rambling on and on. I wrote that after having 2-3 hours of night sleep so I was and still am sleep deprived and I was venting. Sorry! Let me clarify....what are dealing with. Pat/shh which was working with him is no longer working with him as well as me trying to soothe him in the crib.Since we figured out that he is a touchy sleeper we started to help him soothe himself to sleep with our voice and a hand on his chest. He then  started putting himself to sleep with a little bit of fussing and me talking soothingly to him. H e did this for two weeks.Then he stopped doing and started fighting every time he went to sleep. He is extremely hard to get to sleep now. He fights me and won't settle even with a very long wind down. He doesn't like any position I hold him in to wind him down. He is waking more often at night and not able to settle and when I hold him or try to go back to sleep he jerks around bopping his head over and over on my shoulder. I t sound like he is OT, but I don't know how to fix that because he has 1 nap of 1 hr. and 30-45 min.(most of the time, sometimes he still does the 45min nap for this one as well), 1 nap of 1hr. and 15 min, and the third nap of 45. min (I have tried to lengthen this one but have been unsuccessful). He should be taking another catnap before bed but he wont go down for this one. If he does do a 45. min nap for any of his naps I go in his room while he is still drowsy and rock him back to sleep as he hates pat/shh and it's the only way he will go back down. I don't if maybe he got used to me rocking him back to sleep after his 45 min. naps that he got used to being rocked and now cant soothe himself to sleep anymore.??

[snowbird]

Big hugs to you!!

Not sure I can help, but didn't want to read without posting something.  Have you got anyone who can help you like a DH? If you're so upset/stressed/tired yourself he could be picking up on these negative feelings.  I know it's hard when you're having probs with sleep and are not getting any yourself - but we are all with you and will try to help.

Sounds to me like is really OT.  Could you post your EASY and someone will hopefully be able to help you with this - and I will try too.

How old is LO now? Has he got a soother?

x

[sarahb1983]

this was me and all of a sudden at bout 5.5 mths it's got drastically better and she's settling herself in less than 5 minutes sometimes, we were stepping in 2 soon and not giving her chance to self sooth, r u responding to mantra by going in, or moaning, sophia makes a few grumbles then puts herself 2 sleep before as soon as she made a noise we were rocking and doing shh pat till she was asleep, it could take numerous attempts and then she'd jolt back awake, now we listen on the monitor, it's hard to recognise but i've noe leared when she needs me,i never thought she'd self sooth with us not there i thought she was totally dependent on us to sleep but i was so obsessed with not letting her cry i was responding tio any noise

[rochellep]

 Thanks for your reply I have been reading the thread for spirited babies. It seems that I have a spirited one! I though he was textbook. I felt so much better when I read that mothers of other spirited babies scream and fight and get hyperactive when trying to get ready for sleep. I am confused as to when to start his wind down. I read soewhere that spirited babies need a short wind down because they get too impatient with a long one which is what I was doing by going in at 1 hour and swaddling him right away. Yesterday we had 30 min naps all day(prob. OT because of the NW the night before) and with each one I went in and got him back to sleep for another 50 MIN. On a good note he slept much better last night even though he had 30  min. naps all day, but I got him right back down again after each one. Why would he sleep so well after having bad naps all day. This leads me to think that maybe too much daytime sleep on the days that he has longer naps is making him UT at night? Or not...I don't know..Which leads me o aother question..when I go in as soon as he wakes at a 45 min. nap and is still drowsy and I get him back to sleep for another 50min. does that count as one long nap or two CT? Because if it does count as one long nap, he may be getting too much daytime sleep because I go in and get him back to sleep for 1 sometimes two of his naps. So it would be 1x1hr.45,  2x45min., 2x40-50min.(back to sleep after the two 45 min. naps) and then the last catnap before bath he fights sometimes I can get him to take it most of the time i can't. If he doesn't its hard because he will not last untill his bed time.

snowbird- He is 15 weeks, and he never took a soother even though we tried so many times. On one hand I'M glad he didn't because now we do have to wean him off of it, but on the other hand, it would sure help right now...he just recently started sucking on EVERYTHING! His favorite toy is his hands, he sucks on them all day and when I am trying to wind him down he sucks on my neck and shoulder.
sarahb1983-It could be mantra cry, but I go in because 9 times out of 10 I can get him back to sleep right away and I'm worried that if I don't catch him while he is still drowsy he won't go back to sleep and he will get OT. I did leave him several times a month ago but he didn't go back to sleep. He may be able to now since he is older. I'm scared to try...but I'll see. He might surprise me! He used to go to sleep independently with my hand on his chest. Now he can't sooth or settle.
Here is his EASY routine on more days than not.

wake at 7:00 (wont eat because I fed him at 5:30 a.m)
E-7:30
A-
SWADDLE/WIND DOWN 8:00
S-8:30-10:10 this nap used to be 45 min., but i have been successful in lengthening it to 1hr.& 30 or 1 hr. & 40MIN.

ACTIVITY UNTIL EAT
 
E-10:30
A-
Swaddle/wind down 11:30
S-12:00-1:15   this nap I have been able to extend maybe 60% of the time to 1hr. &15 min, if he does a 45 min. nap then I go in and rock back to sleep...it takes about 10 min. and he will sleep another 45- 50min. which would make wake time 1:30 or so

E-1:30
A-
Swaddle 2:15
S-3:45-4:55 45 min. I can never extend this nap

E-4:55
A
S This is where it get's tricky...he won't go down for this one no matter how much I try and he can't make it until his 7:00 bedtime

5:00- bath  which sometimes actually winds him up because of all the kicking...
Wind down/BF
will only make it untill 6:45
S-6:45
WILL WAKE UP 1X BEFORE DF, PICK UP AND PAT BACK TO SLEEP IF DOESNT WORK ROCK...
E-DF @ 11:00

E-BETWEEN 1 OR 2 a.m ( or used to before all of these recent NW..now it's more often like every couple of hours
E- 5:30 a.m ish

As you can see, NW could be a EASY problem or prop( rocking him when he wakes from 45 min. naps and at night when he is very agitated and fighting me...its exhausting!) or to much daytime sleep making him UT at night or not enough day sleep making him OT at night...HELP I'm so confused! If we dont fix this now...it will be worse in a couple of weeks when he hits 4 mos.