LO calling me when in cot

[julesdq]

So, my 12 month old baby girl has started calling me 'mama' from her cot at bed time. She'll stand up and just say it over and over and if I go in and lie her down she'll stay down for a few minutes then start calling me again. If I don't go in when she calls then she ends up crying so then I do the pu/pd.
But I'm thinking now that she can call instead of just cry should I go in then or will that encourage her to keep doing it? 

Any thoughts?
thanks

[Roseii]

Hi there, so is she upset when she's calling out? Sounds a bit like she's practicing saying it
Shall we have a look at your routine? Also now she's a toddler you don't really need to PU unless you feel you really need to, more WI, encourage her to lie down, use your sleepy phrase, WO, repeat...xx

[Chicane]

Just saw this and had to post. It could be some mild separation anxiety, she is just making sure you are still there perhaps. My 2 year old started to do this and when I went in and comfort him he would cry and get angry when I left. So a few days ago I told him I would wait outside the door and that I was close by. I got myself a book and a pillow and sat outside the door and every time he called out I would say 'I'm right here, its sleep time now' and say it the same time over and over. The first night I was there for 1.5 hours (ugh!) the second night for 45 mins, the third night for 20 mins and last night it was under 10 mins, I'm hoping tonight it will only be a few mins...so def post your routine as well as it could be UT or other routine related issues too but thought I'd tell you our story as well....

[julesdq]

Hi Chali and Chicane. Thanks for replying.
When she starts off calling me, she's not upset but if I don't go in, she'll start crying after a few mins. She stands up in her cot and won't lie down by herself so if she's crying I'll PU/PD but if she stops crying when I come in (usual) then I just do PD. I have a feeling that she might be UT like you suggested.
Our EASY is all over the show at the moment as she is having 2 naps on some days and one nap on the other days.
1 nap day:
7.30/8am wake
12/1pm nap (2-2.5 hours)
6/6.30pm BT

2 nap day:
6/6.30am wake
10am nap (wake after 30mins)
2:30/3pm nap (usually 1/1.5hr) wake 4pm
7.30pm BT

The problem with 2 naps is that she often resists the pm nap so I try and put her down later when she's really tired but then she can't have a long nap as it interrupts her bedtime.

I agree that there's a good chance there's SA as she cried when I said goodbye to her yesterday for the first time (going to work) and she was home with DH which she usually loves spending the day with him and is usually happy to wave goodbye to me. Sometimes he tries to take her from me and she'll cling on for dear life and say 'no no no' !!

[barbaraz78]

Just to say that we passed a similar phase with DS, from 10-11 months old lasting few months, in which when we went out he would have stood up and called for us. I did a modified version of WI/WO: after saying goodnight I waited in the room for few mins giving my back to the crib (so no interaction), and when he was calm (but before he was asleep) I went out. If he stood up and cried, I waited for few mins outside to understand if it was a "I need you cry", then when it escalated I went in and did PD, calmed him and stayed with him a little more in the chair and with my back to the crib and then repeated it. There were nights when it took also 1.5 h, but the majority of times it needed less than 30 mins. This phase passed one night (he was 14-15 months), when he decided he didn't want me there and he fell asleep alone. From that moment, he always fell asleep without us in the room.

It could be also UT: with a single nap of 2.5 h I would aim 12h night, 13h night seems a little too much for me, but it depends from LO's sleep needing.

[Chicane]

Sorry its taken a while to get back to you...its hard to say what's going on but I do agree with pp...generally speaking you want to aim for a 12 hour day which means a 12 hour night. It seems like your also in transition from 2 naps to 1 nap which can be tricky...it could be on the 2 nap days she is not quite ready for a nap but does need it kwim?

How would you feel about slowly heading towards 1 nap? Do you think she is ready? It could be a combo of SA and 2-1 transition and you may just need to ride it out for a bit doing a bit for gentle WIWO for the SA and some experimenting with naps...how have things been lately?

[julesdq]

Thanks for your replies.
I'm happy for her to have 1 nap but she does get over tired so every few days she'll have 2 naps. It's those 2 nap days that she's UT for BT and has started getting really upset when I leave the room. IF she only has one nap then she'll go to be perfectly but then it's around 6pm. She seems to either sleep for 11 hrs or 13hrs a night!  I think you're right that I just need to ride it out and do the WI/WO and PD and a bit of experimenting :-)

[Chicane]

hmmm...I would be inclined to move to 1 nap a day and compensate with early BT for a while. If she's doing a 12-13 hr night just as part of the transition to 1 nap then I don't see a problem there as in a few weeks it will even out. If you do it that way there's a chance you won't have to do WIWO etc...you know her best though, and what her limits are. We moved to 1 nap quickly and did a 6pm BT for quite a while before it moved back to 7-7.30...xo

[julesdq]

ok, i'm going to try 1 nap per day. today she had 1 nap and went to sleep perfectly at 6.30pm. so what time do you suggest i put her down for her nap? should her A time be longer in the morning or afternoon?
thanks so much for your suggestions :-)

[Roseii]

Hi there how did you get on yest? Sorry I know too late but I would have said A time pretty much even morn and avo on a one nap day, if she can handle it xx

[Chicane]

That's a hard question to answer. What was her A time when she went to sleep at 6.30pm?

My DS prefers a longer morning A and a shorter afternoon A but other LOs like it in reverse or like equal morning and arvo A times. Actually, thinking back we did have a period where the morning and afternoon A were exactly the same. You may have to experiment a little bit and because you are in the 2-1 transition you may still have a few days here and there where you need to do a little cat nap...watch out for OT and if you think she's building up OT then compensate with an ealier BT. Don't be afraid during the transition to do a BT as early as 6pm...as she adjusts to 1 nap the BT will even out...

[Chicane]

Yes, I would start with even A times...over time you may need to extend the morning A time but that will come later

[julesdq]

hi ladies. thanks SO much for your advice and time. i really do appreciate it!!
ok, she had 12 hours last night (but woke 9pm and continued to wake for an hour or so until she fell asleep). she woke at 6.30am and i put her down just before 12pm and went straight to sleep so hopefully she'll have a LONG nap!
yesterday she was at the childminders (she goes there 2 days a week and usually has 2 naps there but had one there yesterday) she slept from 10-12.30. i asked her to start putting her down a bit later (maybe 11.30/12) with a bit of lunch before so she doesn't wake hungry. for some reason she always sleeps better at the childminder's house than ours!!

[Chicane]

keep us posted on how you get on xo

[julesdq]

Hi ladies.. well thanks to your advice DD STTN for the first time in ages and has been napping for just over 2 hours now :-)
YAY!!