Routines - confused, not sure what to do as so much advice out there !

[JLAV]

I am not really sure where to start with this. My little boy is 20 weeks, he is a very happy little chap and has been a great sleeper at night from 2 weeks onwards.
Early days:
We had a few tough weeks (4-8/10 weeks) where he was in pain in the evenings, we put this down to collick but it did mean having to walk around with him in our arms untill he fell asleep. His routine from the begining was a bottle every 4 hours and he was like clockwork. He used to sleep downstairs in the moses basket and in our room in the crib untill he became more alert and then we had to move him to the travel cot downstairs, during the day, as he couldn't see out of the moses basket. He has never been a day time napper and other than sleeping on car journeys or in the buggy, daytime naps were inconsistent and often following his bottle.

Following his 2 month jabs and maybe even a little earlier, he began teething and around the same time became more difficult to feed and grazed ie. he might take 2 ozs and then another 3 in an hour so I feel like I am constantly feeding and wasting bottles.

Currently:
At the moment his day goes something like this -
6.30 -7am    5 -7oz  (he usually falls asleep on this bottle and we had let him sleep on untill he would wake anytime between 9-10am)
10am   Playtime
11 - 12/1pm  4oz and this is usually when the grazing begins and he could end up looking for another 3ozs in an hour. He usually falls asleep on the bottle between 12 & 1 and might sleep for 20-30 minutes.
3pm again more grazing and this will go on for 2 hours and maybe taking 5-6ozs in total
6pm 5oz (approx) and he usually falls asleep on this bottle for 20-30 mins
9.30-10.30pm  6-7ozs and he usually falls asleep in the cot on this bottle and when he is heavy asleep, I pick him up and burp him. I have tried giving him the bottle elsewhere and then putting him in the cot but it hasn't been successful and has lead to us walking him to sleep/walking and feeding him the bottle untill he fell asleep or pushing him in the buggy in the house till he fell asleep. All of which I knew were not ideal but when we failed on numerous occasions to get him to sleep on his own in the cot, it seemed easier on him and us to let him sleep this way.

Also, I started him on solids this week, just a few spoons of baby rice during his mid day feed.

I now realise that I need to get tough with myself, hubby and lo and attempt to get lo into some type of a routine. I guess from reading some of the other posts, I would be considered an accidental parent as I certainly don't have any complaints when my lo is sleeping at night but I would like to get him into some kind of routine to ensure he is getting adequate food during the day and enough sleep.

I am reading the Baby whisperer now and I am not really sure where to start...do I just launch into the sample routine on page 230 or is there something I need to adjust to ensure he stops the mid day grazing as I don't want to ruin his night time sleep as he is excellent and once he goes down, he very rarely wakens and a soother on time soothes him when he does stir.

Any advise would be really appreciated...I hope I have given adequate information (and not too much) !!
 

[~Natalie~]

I am going to pop this over to the EASY forum.  I think you will get the best advice over there on how to start a routine for your LO.

While you are working on your routine you should also try to separate his bottles from his sleep times.  Instead you should be feeding him right after he wakes, rather then right before he goes to sleep.  The exception to this is bedtime, but you should still do something in between.  We like to change into pjs, feed and then read books before bed.

[becj86]

My thoughts:
*His day seems to go from 10am-10pm. Most babies' days are 12 hours but more commonly 7am-7pm.
*He is grazing - probably because he is distracted. This distractability is pretty common at this age - feeding immediately when he wakes will help as he will still be drowsy and may drink a bit before he's awake enough to be looking around too much to eat. It will also hopefully help him to not fall asleep on the bottle, as he will have just had a sleep. If he doesn't take much, you can offer milk again ~15mins later you're not waiting for him to be hungry but he is still getting the food.
*He is overtired during the day - indicated by the short 20-30min naps. He is probably ready for a sleep after 2-2.5hr awake time.
*He seems to be treating that 6:30am feed as a night feed and going straight back to sleep - if you shift him to a 7-7 day, he may want a night feed ~4am or he might be fine til 6:30/7am if you do a dream feed at 10 or 11pm.

I would try to get him into bed a bit earlier, then get him up at 7 (or when you choose to start your day) knowing that bed time will be ~12hrs later. I would then feed him straight away and give him the extra he would usually get an hour later ~15mins later as necessary. Naptime would be ~2 hr later (he may want it sooner because he's used to being asleep at this time - 1.5hr would be an achievement the first day). You're aiming for a 1.5-2hr nap. He may not be able to transition through his sleep cycles on his own yet, so you may need to resettle him at 30mins or 45mins. Follow the 4hr EASY on pg 230 as closely as possible for a few days and let us know how you're going. Does he have a dummy (pacifier)? If so, this may be your best friend for getting him to sleep so long as he doesn't need it in his mouth to stay asleep, otherwise I'd stick to shush/pat to help him get to sleep.

[Ima shel Alon]

You got some good advice there JLAV, but I just wanted to add emphasis a couple of things. This IS an age of grazing, as becj said, they start to be more alert and curios and the bottle is kind of in their way, iykwim. If you keep on feeding him all day long you end up with what you have now, a snacker, and if I hear you right you want it to change.
The first few hours of the first day are a bit difficult because he will ask for the bottle, hungry, and you won't give it. You are not starving him, he will get his next bottle in an hour or so from being hungry. He will slowly adjust to not getting a bottle all the time.
Regarding the bottle to sleep, it's important to break this connection or at least try and break it and this will take an effort.
You wrote: "I have tried giving him the bottle elsewhere and then putting him in the cot but it hasn't been successful and has lead to us walking him to sleep/walking and feeding him the bottle untill he fell asleep or pushing him in the buggy in the house till he fell asleep."
This is exactly what you need to watch out. You need to be consistent with what you want to achieve (and of course remember that he is still a bub and we can't expect them to do exactly what we want them to do:) ). I think pat/shh is a good option for you now and there is plenty of information in the book and in the FAQ about how to start with it.
And you might want to have a look here as well:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=186622.0