Why won't she follow the Gro clock?

[scucci1979]

I am venting ATM.  Madison has had this clock for a while now and knows that she has to come to my room when Mr. Sunshine comes on, but she won't do it.    She will come into my room my room in the early morning hours to sleep on the floor. I don't mind this so much but when her sister wakes before her, she too will wake up and follow me like a puppy.  She won't stay where she is and wait for me.  I tried a reward chart, gifts, praise, etc, but she is just too darn stubborn.  During the day I even hear her talking to herself saying that if she stays in her bed until the sun, she will get a prize. So why can't she grasp this idea? She seems to love her clock.

[Lolly]

I think I suggested this on another thread so apologies if you have already tried it!

At this age they may be able to repeat the words and phrases that you use with them but I don't think they really *get* a concept like the gro clock. I think you have to actually physically teach them how to use it by doing role play with them and acting with them what you expect them to do.

What I would do is spend some time with her in her room playing at sleeping and setting the clock and making a big production about "waking up" because the sun has come up and giving lots of praise and small prizes (like kisses and hugs, nothing big) and having a celebration because you have stayed in bed until the sun comes up. You can extend the time she does it with you, and then get her to do it  by herself for a really short time and extend that a bit more. Do the same thing everytime, lots of praise and "prizes" and make sure you tell her exactly what you are happy about. You will need to do it more than once while trying to encourage it at night too.

Worth a try?

Laura

[anna*]

I agree with Laura. It's one thing them understanding the concept, but another thing to have the impulse control to follow through with it - like anything with these kids, if it's not something she wants to do, it's not something she's going to do off her own motivation! Rehearsing what she needs to do when she wakes and sees the moon is a great idea, and the other thing to consider is making it impossible for her to leave her room until she sees the sunshine - ie a gate up at her door.

[firsttimemummy]

Could you start off with the clock coming on in the middle of the night at a time when she would still always be in bed?  Initially this would mean that she does still come into your room and sleep there etc but is reinforcing that she is allowed to do this when the sun comes up.  Then gradually make the sun time later til it is coming up  at her usual wake up time in the morning.

Just an idea?


Another thought is to use it only for daytime sleeps to begin with (from now on) and when the sun comes up she comes into your room, to practice what to do for mornings?

Another thought is to just take her back to her bed when she comes through before the sun is up

posted while others did and not read their ideas, sorry!

[anna*]

Yeh it's definitely a good idea to 'reset' the concept by setting the clock for before she wakes up and giving her huge praise - 'Hey! You waited for the sunshine!! Well done!! - even a little reward - and then gradually start moving it back.

[Roseii]

All great ideas Dd1 isn't crazy on following the gro clock in the mornings either So I did try setting it earlier than I would actually like (now it's 7am) so if she woke and saw it was yellow already she could get up and I'd cause a big fuss about how she got up when it was yellow, what a good girl etc. Also this may not be advisable but I am getting so sick of her yelling at the top of her voice to me before it goes yellow (staying in bed but not staying quiet ) That we had a chat and said if she wakes in the morn and it's blue she may quietly get one book and take it back to bed and read it til clock goes yellow...

Xx

[Shiv52]

I think its because the rule isn't concrete if that makes sense.  If she is allowed to come in and sleep on your floor then its not a 'real' rule.  I find my 3YO responds really well when things are totally set in terms of rules but if there is any leeway at all the rule doesn't tend to stick.  

So for her to totally get it, then she needs to be put back in her room every time she leaves it.  I think the reason she isn't getting it is that sleeping on your floor is more reinforcing to her than any prize you could offer her IYSWIM?  SO if you want to make the prizes worth her while then you need to stop her sleeping on your floor and then talk about prizes for not leaving her room at all.  

[anna*]

I think its because the rule isn't concrete if that makes sense.  If she is allowed to come in and sleep on your floor then its not a 'real' rule.  I find my 3YO responds really well when things are totally set in terms of rules but if there is any leeway at all the rule doesn't tend to stick. 

^^^ this.

[Mrs Coops]

Sabrina we have exactly the same problem! Although she doesn't sleep on our floor. 

Not to dishearten you but we put S back in her room repeatedly, DH sits with her until the sun comes up but she still won't do it on her own! We may try the role play though.

We tried the gate, she just screamed the house down and woke J up! We didn't do that again.

Let me know if anything works!!

[anna*]

Yeh, there will be screaming with the gate, no doubt about it.

[Tweakster]

Agree with Shiv and Anna.  The Gro-clock only works if you stick by the concept. So if she still comes into your room when the sun isn't on and gets the social interaction that she's looking for, then why wait for the clock?  You want her to do it of her own volition but she's too immature for that concept.  She has to know that there's no responding or interaction if the sun isn't on.  When the sun is on, it's party time. 

In the beginning with F, we would literally come into his room dancing and singing (I kid you not lol) - we even made up a song 'Good morning Mr. Sunshine good morning' (if I could sing you the tune I would, it's catchy) and we clapped and all got excited and started our day.  When the sun wasn't on, nothing.  No response, no interaction, no light, no talking, nothing.  If he got totally off the wall, we would gently remind him from outside the door 'Finn, Mr. Sun isn't on, it's still night, you can call us when he's on'  And lo and behold through regular consistent routine, he learned the concept.  We started at 18 mths properly but even now, the thing still works.  He still calls us of course, we can't control that.  What we can control is whether we act on it or not. 

[koe2moe]

agree with pps and perhaps sort it out if you can have Alyssa staying somehwere else so that the screaming wont wake her and do it for two nights and evaluate.  I mean the sending her back to her room would work better also if you dont have to worry about getting Alyssa woken up also.  it has been so tough for u.  hugssss xx

[Shiv52]

agree with pps and perhaps sort it out if you can have Alyssa staying somehwere else so that the screaming wont wake her and do it for two nights and evaluate.  I mean the sending her back to her room would work better also if you dont have to worry about getting Alyssa woken up also.  it has been so tough for u.  hugssss xx

I'll be honest and say it would take at least a week, likely 2 weeks of complete consistency to see a result.   

[scucci1979]

2 weeks?  Yikes. the reason she began sleeping on our floor was b/c  she got scared from a really bad thunderstorm last month.  She would have nws over two hours(unusual for her) not wanting to go back in her bed.  When I did put her back in her bed, she would just sit there then come out one minute later screaming. A few times she woke up Alyssa. Hubby is not a fan of the gate, so I have to honour his wishes here. If it was me. that thing would be up there ATM. That is why I was giving her the option of sleeping on our floor, so she can combat those fears.  Mind you we did make huge progress.  Now she will go to bed by herself but it is trying that "return method."  I am so ticked off that I have to do this alone at night.  That is what makes it so much more difficult. 
She would stay in her bed all night if I was there by her side.

I can try the role playing thing and see how that goes.

[Roseii]

((hugs)) Sabs I really feel for you, it is so hard doing any sort of sleep training when you have two kids and more than likely the other will get woken up!
I talked sooo much to DD about the gro clock in the day, she's not interested at bedtime kwim? That's good you've made progress anyway tho xx