Transitioning to BBB with a stair gate has gone wrong

[essexlemon]

We've been having some issues with DS sleeping which improved a lot over Christmas and since he is nearly 3 I decided to take the plunge and get a BBB.

I'd already been advised to put a stair gate on the room to kind of act as an extension to the cot and to keep the control in my hands (and because I'm nervous about the prospect of him toddling along the landing and climbing in with DS2 in his cot which is something he's tried with me in the room.

Trouble is, we bought a gate and fitted it but on our first night with him in the bed he worked out how to open it and has appeared in the lounge twice before I lost my rag and put him in the cot - which made him go mental! Would it be cruel to put a lock on the door and tell him I will only use it if he keeps getting up? (He has always slept with the door closed anyway but actually locking the door feels harsh to me).

One thing is for sure - we will have to be super careful about Chubb locking the front door after bedtime

Has anyone used Jo Frost's stay in bed technique or similar with a spirited LO? He has real staying power so I fear it could turn into a great game for him especially as I usually bath DS2 and do the last feed just after I lay him down.

Bah and humbug. 

[~Karen~]

Hmmmmm..........putting a lock on a bedroom door just doesn't sit right with me.  Have you tried a star chart to keep him in his room?

[nona]

maybe try a different gate? i used 2 clear gates one on top of the other in his doorway. otherwise, he would climb over the first one. strange thing, my DS was never a  climber unless it was over a gate in the middle of the night.

another idea is to slightly raise the gate he can open (not enuf where he could crawl under or get stuck) but high enuf to not   reach the gate or crawl over.

we did try locking the door and it was just difficult. plus, his room has 2 doors which made it complicated. it was a hassle bc if i needed to see him, had to unlock the door vs just talking/reassuring him    thru a gate.

you could put one of those child safety door knob covers on it. so door can't be opened from inside but he isn't really locked in his room.

[essexlemon]

Thanks ladies. tbh we have a diffenent type on the stairs that is easier to fit but he can open it. This one is the same as our kitchen gate and top of the stairs which he couldn't open before but can now open with relative ease (cue panicked fitting of lots of cupboard latches). We can't move the gate up unfortunately or it will clash with the door knob.

I'm trying the threat of putting him in his cot instead for now but its not working fantastically well. I don't know why I feel so uncomfortable about putting a lock on the door as he's always been happy to sleep with it closed. It just sounds so Victorian...

[nona]

i think once you have made the move, kinda hard to work backwards KWIM?  i def wouldn't threat unless you will follow thru. maybe don't say anything and see what happens in the next day, then just put the crib(cot) back up and say "if you can't stay in your big boy bed, you need to be in the little boy bed" and see what happens?  I'm assuming the cot is still put together and not being used?

i don't like the idea of a lock either but if you need to keep him in his room for safety reasons, i think it is fine.  i do have a friend that uses it bc her little boy is very spirited and he would walk out of the house if he could in the middle of the night...so yea, they need it for safety reasons!

also, when we were dealing with all this (sooner than i planned bc ds was climbing out of his crib at night), i eventually made a sleep chart w/ sleep rules and also used a clock that used colors to indicate when was wake time vs sleep time vs nap time.