2 to 1 or wi/wo needed?

[amsmith]

Hello,
  My DS is 12.5 months old.  He has been an early waker for so many months, I can't really remember when it started.  I have posted on BW a few times trying to fix it but nothing seems to help.  He seems happy enough, so I have just resigned myself to the 5:30 am wake up.  He was a good independent sleeper with no props until he went through his first cold in October.  We were able to get him back on track until another cold hit in December.  Since then I've been having a lot of problems with him going to sleep independently both for naps and bedtime.  We do our normal wind down routine and he is very sleepy, but when I put him in the crib, he jolts up and starts crawling and fussing, and from there it takes a very long time to get him to go to sleep.  He only wants to be held until he is fully asleep.  But he doesn't do this all the time, maybe 50% of the time.  The other 50% he goes right off to sleep.  It seems like he has to be really tired to go right off to sleep.
  I have extended his morning A time to 4 hrs and he usually goes down for his morning nap ok, but he wakes after 30 min.  His pm nap is hit or miss, sometimes he goes down easy, sometimes he fights hard.  And the length is all over the place, sometimes 30 min, sometimes 1.5 hrs.  I don't know what to do.  I can't tell if he is trying to go through the 2 to 1 or if I just need to buckle down and do some wi/wo.    What do you think?

Here is his easy for now:

wake up: 5:30 am
E: 6 am -formula
E: 8 am - solids
A: 5:30-9:30 am
S: 9:30- 10 am
E: 10 am - snack
E: 12 pm - lunch
A: 10 - 2 pm
S: 2 pm - 2:30 or 3:30
E: 2:30 or 3:30- snack
E: 4:30 or 5:30 dinner
S: 6:30 or 7:30 - formula given at BT

He was sleeping through the night, but recently has started having one night waking again. 
Please tell me what you think I should do - focus on wi/wo and leave his routine the same, or focus on the 2 to 1 transition and hope that solves the independent sleep problem - or do I need to do both?? 

Thanks!

[amsmith]

Of course, as I write this - he is taking a long morning nap - he's already at 1 hr and still sleeping - he hasn't done that in weeks, if not months - what is going on??

[amsmith]

Anyone have any ideas?

I am at a loss as to what to do right now.  Today has been awful.  He woke up at 4:30, I finally got him back to sleep at 5:45 and he slept until 8:15.  So I decided to try one nap today.  I put him down at 12:30 and he slept for 30 min and woke up crying.  Now I've been doing wi/wo for 45 min and he shows no sign of going back to sleep.  What should I do???

[amsmith]

He never did go back to sleep.  I gave up at 2:30 and got him up and gave him snack.  I don't know if I should try a cat nap later or just do early bedtime.  I feel so lost and out of control

[Shiv52]

{{{{hugs}}} 

Going to get some eyes on this for you xx

[Erin M]

Hi sweetie, sorry your post got missed.  
My thought on this is that you need to push through on the 2-1.  How easily does he do the 4 hours of A time?  Can you keep pushing it to get it a touch longer?  I ask because my 8.5 month old is coming close to 4 hours right now and it's the only way I can get a decent nap from him.  Have his A times been on the long or short side usually?  

I'm no good with early wake ups, I always forced mine to go back to sleep, generally by putting them in bed with me but it was the only way I ever found to make it work.  You're getting such short naps as it is, I think I would work on lengthening your first A time to see if you can get a decent nap.  Your days are also really long (14 hours) due to the early wake ups so I might just put him to bed earlier to see if it helps.  He's probably stuck in an OT loop and maybe getting him to bed earlier will help him to catch up a bit.  If he wakes up early and you can't get him back to sleep, maybe you could do a super short nap a few hours into his A time just to push him through to a longer A time and hopefully take a better nap later in the day.  When my dd1 was in the midst of the 2-1, she'd nap for about 20-25 minutes mid-morning and then take a longer nap mid-afternoon.  Eventually that first mini-nap disappeared and I could move her afternoon nap earlier and she'd just take one long one.  

In the case where he slept for 30 minutes and woke up -- is there any way you've ever found to get a longer nap from him -- would a drive in the car help?  Sometimes you just have to do what you can in order to keep them from getting completely OT.  If you get those short naps, I'd definitely make bt earlier too.  

HTH!

[~Sara~]

I have extended his morning A time to 4 hrs and he usually goes down for his morning nap ok, but he wakes after 30 min.  His pm nap is hit or miss, sometimes he goes down easy, sometimes he fights hard.  And the length is all over the place, sometimes 30 min, sometimes 1.5 hrs.  I don't know what to do.  I can't tell if he is trying to go through the 2 to 1 or if I just need to buckle down and do some wi/wo.    What do you think?

I'm not convinced he's trying to do the 2-1 since he's not napping long enough in the AM to cause him to fight the PM nap.  However, that said, do you notice a difference in his wake-up time if he has a 30 minute PM nap vs. a 1.5h nap?  If the latter leads to the EWs, then, I'll change my tune and say that his routine needs to be tweaked.  If it's the former, then I think the EWs could be OT-related. 

Additionally, this isn't to say that his routine might not need to be tweaked anyways.  I agree with Erin re: giving him a bit more A time and seeing how he does.

One last thought: any teeth making an appearance?  Is he still under the weather at all?

[Erin M]

One last thought: any teeth making an appearance?

That's a good thought -- EWs were almost always teeth related in my house.

[amsmith]

Wow - thanks you guys.

It is possible there are some teeth coming, but I'm not sure, it's seemed like there should be teeth coming for about 2-3 weeks, but nothing has shown up yet.  He's not sick at all anymore - he's been better for a couple weeks.  He has a routine doctor's apt. on Wed. so maybe they can tell if there are teeth or not.

The length of his nap doesn't seem to coincide with early waking - he wakes early no matter what.  He's like a clock - 5:30 am no matter what.  Although, that being said, the last two days have been different - today he woke at 6:40 - after an hour long night waking at 2:30 - probably b/c of the horribly screwed up schedule he had yesterday - only one 1/2 hr nap

4 hours of A time is no problem for him.  I am usually interrupting his independent play to start his nap  time routine.   I will try to increase it a little and see if that helps. 

The only thing I've found that will increase his nap length is holding him while he sleeps.  But the more I do that, the less independently he will go to sleep.  That's what I was doing while he was sick and now it's been hard to put him down awake, he wants to be held until he is deep asleep.  So I'm trying to avoid holding him, but if you think I need to to get through this, I can try. 

So I will try a little more A time today - should I do 15 min or 30 min more?  I guess I will try for one nap again today since he will be going down around 11 am.   I will let you know how it goes.

Thank you so much for your help.  It is so nice to talk to someone who understands.  My mom says I should just hold him through his naps until he "grows out of it".  I just can't do that.... it could take years!

[Erin M]

I'd do 15 minutes for today and see where it gets you.  On my way out the door but will be back later.

[~Sara~]

Yup, I think 15 minutes more is the way to go.

[amsmith]

Thanks again guys.

 I will try the 15 min. some other day.  Today is already all messed up.  He was so tired and cranky I had to put him down for nap after just 3 hrs of awake time and he went right down.  He is sleeping now.  I guess he really is OT.  I guess I'll just try and get him back from being OT then try starting over with a slightly longer A time.  What do you think?

Thank you so much!

[amsmith]

He only slept for 30 min, then woke up happy.  He seems happy now.  Should I go for a normal 4 hour wake time or cut it down to 3.5?  I'm so confused, his routine has gone all crazy!

[~Sara~]

Hmm...I would still try for a longer A time in the morning.  It can't make his naps any shorter, right?  Let's see if he's fussy at the same time tomorrow, too.

Have you tried giving him any meds to see if that helps improve things, just in case it is teeth?  Those little pearly whites can be painful even as they're pushing up through the gums.

[Erin M]

Hmm...I would still try for a longer A time in the morning.  It can't make his naps any shorter, right?  Let's see if he's fussy at the same time tomorrow, too.

^^^^^this

Their little body clocks can get stuck on napping at certain times, even though they need to stay awake longer to  get in a good nap.  Try for major distraction at that time and see if it buys you some more A time.