pls help! my 22 month old wont go to sleep!

[s_dhroliya]

i have no clue whats going on with my 22 month old - we have had issues with her in the past with EW's but never ever any issues with her going to bed in the evening, except for the past 2 days.  we put her to bed around 7:30 and shes stands up in her crib for 3 hours talking, crying, talking crying over and over again.  im watching her on our video monnitor as we speak and she has been talking/crying since 7pm and now shes sleeping, but standing up in her crib, holding the railings.  i cant go in because i have a 3 month old baby that i need to nurse etc.  my husband did go in 3 times yesterday and in the end he had to sleep with her. 

pls tell me this is a phase and its going to pass.  its breaking my heart to see her like this.
this is what her day typically looks like:

wake up: between 5:30 - 6
nap: 12-2 (or 2:30
bed: 7:30

[b_mum]

If you have ruled out other causes (teething etc)... sounds like it could be a sleep regression, maybe the 24month one a little early(?). We went through the same thing at 18 months with DS who is a month younger than your LO. It eventually did pass for us.

I found this helpful:
http://www.motherhoodsupport.com/2010/08/sleep-regressions-what-they-are-and-how-to-deal-2/

[s_dhroliya]

thank you so much for the link...i really hope its the 24 month sleep regression.  i know she is teething, but i dont think thats why shes up crying/talking for 3+ hours..she is able to communicate with us pretty well andi think she woukd tell us her teeth/gums are arching or she would point to them?  do you think i should give her tylenol just incase?

[*jazzberry*]

Personally I would try medicating just to rule that out as a possible cause. DS2 has been teething forever (on and off) and although his language is excellent he very rarely tells me, it's just apparent in his behaviour.

[<Catherine>]

DS never tells me when his teeth are hurting either. I would also try medicating to see if it helps - 2 yr molars do cause havoc.

It could also be that he's UT at bedtime and is needing the nap capping a little - what do you think? It does seem that he's in an UT/OT loop - he's UT at BT, but OT by the time he finally falls asleep which is then leading to the EW.

[clairebear79]

Agree with Catherine about the nap possibly needing trimming.  IIWM I would also look at gradually shifting it later & this might help you get a slightly later WU.  So maybe something more like 12.30-2 or even 1-2.30.

HTH.x

[s_dhroliya]

ok, so i tried medicating her and it didnt work, so it looks like its not teething
my question is, should i cap her nap and push it from 11:30 to 12:30 or should i just start with one or the other?  she has always woken up at around 5:45am and im afraid if i push her nap to 12:30 that will be 7 hours of A time which might be too much, no?  and she almost always wakes up crying when she wakes up in the morning which leads me to believe shes OT.
thank you
!

[clairebear79]

Hiya I thought nap was 12-2 or did I get that bit wrong? 

IIWM I'd push out gradually rather than pushing an extra hour from the word go. 

We've done this with my DS recently - he was waking at 5-5.30 & napping 11-11.30.  I pushed 15mins later/week so it took around 4-6 weeks to do but he's now napping 12.30-2.30 & bt IS 7.30.  He is younger than your LO though so I haven't capped at the same time, so will be interested to hear the other ladies thoughts on how to do it.

My take on it is this:
If nap is currently starting at 11.30 not 12 I'd probably shift it 15mins later every few days until it starts at 12 & ends at 2.  Then I would do a nap from 12.15-2pm (so 1.75hrs) for 1 week and then 12.30-2pm (1.5hrs).  This way you are pushing out and capping at the same time but doing both gradually.  She is likely to get OT while you do it - there's no getting around that but stay with it & it will pay off.

What do you think?

[s_dhroliya]

hi ladies,
it seems as though things are getting worse   here is what her day looked like yesterday:
wake up: 5:30
nap: 12:15 - 3
sleep: 7:30 (we have had to resort to sleeping with her on a matress on the floor.  she just wont sleep in her crib alone)
wake up: 4:45am

she has been up since 4:45 and we tried to keep her up until noon for her nap, but she was exhausted by 10:30 and has been napping since.

my question is, should i wake her up after 2 hours or let her sleep? 

[s_dhroliya]

**update to my above post:
she only napped from 10:30 - 12:10

should i make her bedtime tonight earlier than usual or should i try giving her a catnap instead?

[clairebear79]

(((hugs))) not sure this will get to you in time but IIWM I'd try & get her in bed for 6-6.30ish.  And hope that she pulls a longer night.

OK so I think the early WU today was down to that monster nap yesterday.  Even though she is tired from the long day & the EW, that A time to BT just isn't long enough after a nap of that size.  I think you need to keep the nap capped at 2hrs absolute max, and gradually work towards shortening it.  I know she is currently needing extra sleep at her nap b/c she is EWing & you are pushing her nap time later, BUT by letting her have it, its causing a shorter night.  The only way to get out of the loop is to push out & shorten the nap.

What is happening at BT that means you have to stay with her?  Was this just last night or is the same thing happening every night?

[s_dhroliya]

hi, thank you for your response!

we tried to get her to bed for 6:30, but she wouldnt have it - she was super fussy and clearly OT, but we did manage to get her down for 7.  fingers crossed for tonight.  i have a newborn at home and this is now becoming so difficult.

so, on Tuesday, all of a sudden, she refused to sleep in her crib.  after leaving her in there for 3 hours, we went to get her and the only way she would sleep is if one of us was with her.  so we put some blankets on the floor and slept there until she fell asleep and then snuck out.  we have had to keepi doing that since Tuesday.  she just wont sleep in her crib.   not sure if its sleep regression, OT, separation anxiety, teething or all of the above, but i just hope it ends soon

[*jazzberry*]

Have the sleep issues coincided with the arrival of the new baby? It's really common for this to cause anxiety/behavioural issues etc. Just a thought.

[s_dhroliya]

thank you jazzberry!  well, my newborn is almost 3 months...
do you think the regression might be because of that?  should i still try capping the nap as well as pushing it to later?

[*jazzberry*]

I think the regression may well be because of that. I'm not an expert on routine tweaking so I'll leave that bit to someone else, but in the meantime I would try to lavish as much attention on her in the day as you can (I'm not saying you don't already and I know how tricky it can be with a newborn too believe me!) - extra snuggles etc. I would also talk to her about what she can do when she wakes up in the night, reassure her that mummy is in the next room if she needs her, baby is asleep in bed, big girls stay in their own bed etc, I don't know how her language and understanding are but it's the type of thing that would work for my kids. I imagine she has at some point heard the baby waking and is therefore doing the same thing, making sure mummy is there for her too?